Friday, July 30, 2010

Tornado Dreams

Tracking a storm with my niece Amy at her house in West Texas

I dream about never having another Tornado Dream....Yep, to all those who know me I had another one last night. I have had tornado dreams for as long as I can remember. It is always the same thing in the dream. I am trying to get to the basement or some place safe and the others around me won't come with me. They stand around and watch the tornado coming towards us or just ignore me all together as I cry and scream at them to get to safety..they won't Listen To Me!!! Yeah, makes for a great nights sleep.

Most of my tornado dreams take place at my sister Carla's house. I don't know why that is exactly. Part of me thinks it might be because they don't have a basement. But actually, Nobody has a basement in West Texas and I REALLY don't get that. Well nobody except for my niece Andi - and I love her for that - but now she has forsaken me and is selling her house.... It is the only place I feel safe when I am home during tornado season. But I do think that my other niece Amy is quite generous towards me (actually her wonderful husband). They are putting an addition onto their house and he is adding a special safety room and they tell me it was with me in mind...

There are many reasons why I believe that these dreams have plagued my life. Although obviously I don't remember it at all but in 1970, the year I was born, was the year of Lubbock's big tornado. My family lived in Lubbock at the time and I heard stories of it my whole life. Also, I can still picture the floral scrapbook that held the newspaper clippings from the horrific event. Another reason is that in West Texas during tornado season there was Always that little picture of a tornado down in the corner of the screen. So, when we came home and my parents weren't home my brother and I had to read the scrolling bar to see if our county was in harms way and if it was take precautionary measures. Which meant taking a mattress off of a bed and leaning it up against a wall in the hallway and sitting under it until the danger had past. Let's just say my brother RARELY took any of it seriously and couldn't care less that his little sister was hyperventilating while shaking in the middle of the hallway screaming at him to help her pull the mattress in there with her. One of the more vivid memories I had was when one of my older brothers still lived at home. The weather was terrible and we had the mattress in the hallway. My brother Neil and I were huddled together and my brother Gary insisted on standing outside and watching the tornado. I will never forget watching my mom scream for him to come in. I could see her face as she screamed for him and yet I couldn't hear her because of the quite noise...It was one of the scariest moments I can remember from when I was a child.

You would think that moving up North and away from Tornado Alley would have calmed my fears and then those scary dreams would fade. Actually they got progressively worse. I believe mainly because of the fact that our first home here was a 1976 mobile home....Mobile Home + Tornado = DISASTER!!! That's all I ever heard growing up so anytime in the middle of the night when the wind and rain were bad I was a nervous wreck. There were WAY to many nights when my poor husband spent entire nights with his young bride frantically begging him to take her and our children to the safety of his parents home down the road. VERY few times did he give in which caused for more turmoil... For many of those years in my calmer moments I did try to rationalize the fact that I no longer lived in Tornado Alley and the reality of a tornado coming anywhere close to us were really very slim. But that is no longer true. In fact the small town down the road from us was hit extremely hard a few years ago. Also it seems like there are more and more sightings all over the state.

In 1991 my sweet husband built me a strong house with a comfy basement (that I have slept in many stormy nights while he refuses to leave our bed and sleeps soundly upstairs..) Mainly my struggle as I get older is about my children and Rob. If they are all home during the storm I am usually better but if they aren't then my anxiety gets really bad. I am coping but it is nights like last night that bring it all to a head again. That fear!!

I know people try to figure out what dreams mean and stuff and I have wondered about all this myself....honestly the only thing I can figure out is that if it isn't just that I am SCARED to death of a tornado taking out my house then it could be that it really ticks me off when people don't listen to me when I tell them what to do....

Well my dream for you is peaceful sleep...

Have a great day!!!

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