Saturday, July 10, 2010

I dream of having my whole family close....

Trip to McDonald's with Asher and D...

I dream of having my family close to me. I dream of meeting up with my sisters for a lunch date. I dream of watching dance recitals and tumbling meets of my great nieces. I dream of graduation parties. I dream of playing with my great nieces and nephews I haven't even met. I dream of meeting my niece at the airport when she comes back from Afghanistan. I dream of hugging a sister that is hurting and letting her know she is loved. I dream of being silly with my brother and telling stories of our lives growing up.

But this I know is only a dream or atlest to the extent that I wish it could be. I have a very large family. There are 10 of us and I am the baby. Momma always said we were like the Lucielle Ball movie - Yours, Mine and Ours..LOL!! We are scattered all over now that we are grown. Although I am in Wisconsin I grew up in Texas. So whenever I get a chance to go home I take it. And this last year has been Wonderful.
This week my niece and her husband and their little boy came to visit us. So that means within the last year I have been connected to my family 6 times. 3 times flying there and 3 times various ones coming here to visit us. I LOVE IT! But I am always left with sadness. For this visit I will miss the kisses and the "hee haw" and the "aaww maan" from such a sweet boy....sigh...I am so blessed to atleast have had a brief time to watch him before he changes once again and to give him a chance to know his cousins and his Aunt Neenda...:-)

Even though I get to visit my hometown I still have family all over that I don't get to see. So many changing lives that are important to me that I am missing. I try not to feel guilty. I know all of our lives are busy and full and I know they realize that as well. But if nothing else my dream would be that they all feel the Love that I truly have for each of them!! That they would never doubt each of their importance in my life.

I Love my life here and I wouldn't change living so far away. This is where God has asked me to be and I am content with that. And I realize that a move there would only make me long for my life here. A friend use to say the homesickness that we feel will not be found in this world. There will be a day that each of us will go Home and this feeling of being lost and discontent will be gone. And my prayer is that all those that I long for here on Earth will be with me in our Heavenly Home.....sigh....Yep, that is my Ultimate Dream!!!!!!!!!!!!

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