The feeling of a camera in my hand

 

The decision to open up my blog and start to look at again has made me sentimental for my camera. I can't even tell you the last time I held my camera in my hand.  I'm not sure if setting my camera down was intentional or not. I know that after returning from Bolivia I really wasn't using it much and then Becca was asking to use it more and more for a second camera for wedding shoots and so I just had her keep it unless I needed it. Life takes on so many changes. Years ago my camera was attached to me as my arm was. I saw the world through the lens of a camera. 

As nervous as I am to begin to blog again I am equally as nervous to photograph. Last night a sweet friend and I had a good talk about being a photographer. Yes we can say that we do it for ourselves and that is true because it is a love but to put your work on display is very difficult because it is a reflection of your heart. Whether it be my writing or my photography I know it is for myself... It has to be for myself... And the older I get the closer I'm getting to truly being in that spot... But we have to be real and admit that we are human....

Okay... I really need to go accomplish something today...

Today I dream for you the chance to pick up something that you have long ago put down. Something that you thought you wouldn't get the chance to go back to.... Why not??? Have a beautiful day!

 

As I opened up my blog site I was amazed at how long it had actually been since I had last written a post here. I knew it had been a long time but I had not realized that so many years had passed. I don't even need to look back through posts to remember the posts of joy and the posts that put me into some of my darkest pits.

The reasons that I haven't posted are numerous and quite possibly those reasons will come forth in posts in the future... but we will see. But I can honestly say that my heart has missed it here. My heart has missed sharing and encouraging. But although I am posting today I am making no promises for the future.... sigh..... But for today it was nice to be here again :-)

So today my friends I dream for you........ hope...... hope for your future and the blessings that God has ready to rain down on you......

Have a beautiful day.

giving it to God....

A wonderful book on Prayer that my Brother n law

Bill gave to me.....

I've never had a mentor.....well, I shouldn't say that. I have 2 wonderful sisters that have guided me through the last 22 years of marriage and motherhood. They are my best friends and I am pretty sure they know pretty much everything about me....the good, the bad and the endless nonsense.....I can't imagine my life without them. But living 1200 miles away from my best friends has left me with a longing for someone to sit and hold me and encourage me through the rough times and high five me during my triumphs.....

I am pretty sure that I read too many blogs from other Christian woman. They talk about how they have mentors that are older than them. They meet weekly at Starbucks with Bibles in tow and unload their struggles and then the wise woman doles out incredible wisdom and words from scripture and prays the most poetic of prayers.....sigh....

I remember one wonderful week in a woman's house in Minnesota. I was staying at her home while I was doing some volunteer work. She was a beautiful woman who was old enough to be my mom. Her husband and she had done mission work throughout their lives and had several children and grandchildren. She was showing me around her house and took me into her office where I saw bookshelves filled with so many of my favorite books. We stood there and talked about  many of them and my heart just got fuller and fuller. One evening after a long and stressful day she took me to her church for a potluck. As we walked along she put her arm in mine and guided me around and introduced me to all of her friends like she was so proud that I had come with her. That evening she brought me a cup of tea and we sat on her couch and began to visit. She asked me questions and just listened.....it was Heavenly.....She asked me questions that went deeper than anyone ever has.....or should I say - different directions.... if that makes sense. Her questions led me to corners of my heart that many times I won't allow myself to go on my own and I keep topics very much on the surface with many of my friends..I would much rather be the questioner than the questionee.....After we talked she took my cup and walked me to my room and asked if she could pray for me. I laid in bed that night and wept. I wept for alot of things that we had discussed and even more that it was bringing up. By the next morning many of them scurried back to their dark corners. But I will never forget how freeing it was to be on the receiving end of the wisdom of a woman like that...

Through the years I have thought of her. I know that I journaled during that week but even now it is hard for me to go back and see what I wrote.....Isn't that crazy?.....I don't even remember all the topics we discussed but I just remember the way I felt....And there are so many times I so long for a woman like that in my life... Someone who has been through the rough times and came out stronger. A woman who can hold my hand and take me to scripture when I'm feeling alone and abandoned. A woman who can guide me through the difficult teenage years and remind me that the hard work and consistency will be worth it. Someone that will wrap their arms around me and tell me I'm doing a good job.....sigh......

I'm at a strange point in my life...in SO many areas of my life......I can't even explain it. Becca is off to college and it won't be long before Dustin follows as well. What will life look like for me then? We are all aware of the imagination I have so it's not like I haven't pictured it in my head over and over. Rob and I will head off to some other country and help at an orphanage and return home on trips to visit our children and grandchildren. I will be writing book after book and taking insightful photography that shows a life that few have ever experienced. And at some point we will return home and build our little cabin in the woods (that's Rob's part of the dream....) But we will spend our days serving and encouraging others around us.

I know that vision comes from what I experienced during that week. During one of the most intensely emotional weeks I have ever had. Giving everything in me during the day and coming home to feel loved and encouraged to go back again......I believe with all my heart that God placed that woman in my life for a greater purpose than just to lift me up during that week. He showed me the importance of what a mentor can be in the lives of others.

I also believe that this is one more reason for my blog. I have a heart to encourage....to motivate...to bring woman to a closer relationship to our Heavenly Father....to know that they are not alone....But I am only one woman.....I have no counseling degree and I by no means have all the answers.

The difficulty that I find is that when others come to me I tend to take on their pain....So when I have 5 different situations going on that I am "helping" others through I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. I hurt for them and feel their pain. I spend my days trying to figure out ways to help them through....There have been many times that I feel that I spend more time on trying to see ways for them to move forward than they do themselves and then it leads to resentment and frustration.....I find myself being angry and short with my own family for no reason...And then I am filled with guilt because I know what it's like to be in despair and hopeless....I may not have been in their particular situation but I definitely can relate on some level.......

So my problem is....I don't know how find balance....

I always go back to the vision of that woman....Her peace....Her strong faith.....Her calming spirit....That is what I want....That is the place I long to reside. To encourage without internalizing.......hhhhmmmm...

Well my......this was very therapeutic today......Once again I love how I never know what I am going to write about....I could say that I didn't know that this was inside of me but I really knew it was and so has Rob....It has become much more evident lately. To a point that I know that it has to be dealt with but I just don't know how...Writing this today it is very clear to me that my top priority needs to be Prayer.....I need to realize that no matter what the situationis it is ultimately in His hands....I need to quit spending the hours of my days problem solving others problems and more time lifting them up to Him. I am not called to have all the answers and I can't be so hard on myself if the person I am trying to comfort finds that their life has only gotten worse. I am not in control of the decisions they make. I am only in control of mine....

So today I dream for you....... open eyes to see if there is something in your life that you are trying to take care of on your own.....by your own strength.....Is God telling you that what you truly need to do is lift it up in Prayer....Every time the thought enters your mind give it to Him. Instead of allowing your mind to stew and plan, worry and then get depressed..... let Satan know that you have no interest in going there and give it to God.......sigh.....

Well thank you for letting me think through this today.....I already feel lighter and more at peace....but I will be honest that it isn't going to happen overnight......I am still human you know.....

Have a Beautiful Day my friends....

I've lost my marbles

Colorful Marbles, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

Sometimes I think my husband is sure that I have lost my marbles....LOL

The other night we were at our JMP meeting discussing what we would like to do on our vacation days after working at the orphanage. I quickly piped up and said that I wanted to go parasailing...I have always wanted to do that, to be high above the water and looking down at the beautiful landscape (especially of Jamaica). Doc commented that you know they have spots for 2 people and so I looked at Rob and smiled....He's not quite as "adventurism" as me. Rob is the practical, down to earth....let's just say he's the brains of this couple....LOL!!

He has always been an amazing supporter of the crazy things that I have done throughout our life together....all the little businesses that I started....but never stuck to.....let's see if I can remember them....there was selling Mary Kay (but I hated selling anything because I really just like how organized all the products looked on my shelf). There was the shirt painting...the craft booths...the card making....and the one the lasted the longest....scrapbooking. I taught Creative Memories for several years and I have to say a lot of good did come out of that one...There are probably plenty of other ones that I have blocked out of my memory.

Rob was also very supportive when I began running. During the races he would bring the kids and they would come to different spots along the route to cheer me on. And when I returned to school he was very understanding when it was Semester Final time and they lived off of cereal.....LOL!! He highly agreed that I needed to go help with Hurricane Katrina and now he is supporting me in my writing. Rob has always been my biggest fan in everything I do.

There is one thing that he wasn't supportive of...  In fact he was down right upset with me. Which is the main reason that I didn't tell him until I had already done it :-/ Summer before last I took my daughter and our exchange daughter to Wisconsin Dells to cross something off of my "bucket list". I went Bungee Jumping!! ...Yep...Crazy! It was about 130' and the only good thing about it was the nice view from up top. I was just looking at some videos of people jumping at the Dells and they were like 2 min long....My video was like 7 min....LOL...I kept thinking I was ready and then.......uummm, wait....Finally what made me do it is that I knew that if I just went back down that it would still be on "my list”. There would be a day that I was going to have to try again…Dang nab it!!! So it was easier just to get it over with so I could cross it off my list...I know...I know....

The worst part, obviously, was telling your brain that it was okay for your body to fall over the side of the ledge into midair. My brain and my legs were not agreeing at all. But of course after the initial drop it was sort of fun....Fun enough that I would ever do it again???.........uuummmmmm .....NO!!!!

When I called and told Rob what I had done he was MAAAAD!! Rob never gets Mad at me...I mean yeah if I don't turn the lights off when I walk out of the room he gets irritated. But he never gets MAD but this time I knew what was coming...."Linda, What were you thinking????" ooohhh and he never calls me Linda....I knew I was in deep trouble….I don't think "Peeps" would have had the same effect....LOL!!! What it came down to, and I knew it, is that he was scared that something would happen to me.....everyone together.........aaaaaawwww, how sweeet.......

It's funny that when we met Rob was the guy in the racecar and I was in a Ford Escort. Maybe that's why I was attracted to him I thought he was adventursm (sure it had nothing to do with he was just plain Gorgeous) but the reality is that he probably bought that car because it was in good shape and at a good price....(Just kidding Rob – you know I Love You )..!!

But the two of us do balance each other out. Without Rob who knows what a mess my life would be. I need someone to tone me down sometimes....Sometimes dreams just need to be that...dreams...And Rob knows that without me he would not have had the adventures and travel that he has had. We talk about all of this often and how blessed we are to have found each other.

So back to the parasailing adventure....well that has yet to be determined....I am giddy excited about it....Rob not so much....He hasn't said no. He just gives me this look with a little grin like...You really aren't going to make me do this are you?....And he knows full well that just about every adventure that I have talked him into he was grateful for afterwards....with exception of the Roller Coasters....I don't think that will ever happen again….:-)

Today I dream for you....an adverture!!!!....Make someone think that you have Lost Your Marbles....LOL!! Life is to short and there is so much to do......If you need ideas let me know – I will share some of mine with you!!

Have a wonderful day friend….

a professional photographer

Kitchen, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

This morning I am so excited. Last night I received an email from one of my favorite website/blogs....InCourage. They had recently asked me to be a guest writer on their site. But first I had to send a sample story to them to be approved. They did approve it and I will get to be on their site in the near future. I will keep you updated. And thank you all for your support with my blog. You all "encourage" me daily!! I am truly blessed!!

For the next week or so my camera is at the Dr. so I have to be creative with my posts. So I was going through my Flickr photos and I ran across this one. I thought it was a good time to share one of my other adventures that sort of relates to my whole InCourage excitement.

********

My niece Amy is married to a Wonderful Wonderful man. Besides being a loving husband and father he is an Incredible builder. He started in the home building field about 10 years ago and in that short time has made remarkable strides.

Not long ago he flew me to Texas on 2 different occasionsto do some photo shoots at several of the homes that he had built. He was starting up his website and I was beyond excited that he thought my photography was worthy.

As the photographer you get to see every nook and cranny of the house. I probably looked at the details of the construction closer than the inspector did. And through each and every home that I photographed the quality was astounding! I was continuously in awe of the attention to detail in his work.

I can't tell you how many thousands of photos that I shot during the 2 shoots that I was there....(thank the Lord for digital photography) but I never got bored. Chuck seemed very happy with my photography but he knows as well as I do that my preference would be to photograph the plumbing fixtures to the exterior of the house.....LOL!! I LOVE up close photography. But this whole experience has stretched me and I have been so grateful.

A bonus of the photo shoot time was the time that I was able to spend with Chuck. Over the years I have gotten to "know" him..(he, Amy and I share some pretty funny memories). But the time on the road from Dallas to Lubbock and to and from other home sites we had alot of visiting time. It is so fun to listen to his energy and love for what he does. How he understands that the houses that he is building are not just projects but people's homes. He is a unique young man and I am so proud that he is part of our family.

On the opening page of the website there is a photo of a home with a rainbow that extends over the entire house. That rainbow was was not superimposed - it was really there. That was the most incredible day. I thought that the shoot was going to be a bust because it rained the whole way there. As I walked through the home to get a feel for things I could hear the rain beating on the roof. And then as I stood in one of the bedrooms all of the sudden the sun began to shine through the windows.....Bright sunshine! It was Perfect photography lighting. And so I began to start snapping photos like a mad woman desperately afraid that the sun would at any moment slide behind a dark cloud not to be seen again. At one point I stepped outside to do the outside photos overlooking the beautiful lake. As I looked up there was a complete rainbow...end to end!! I ran in and got some rainboots on and trecked through the mud while keeping an eye out for rattle snacks...(yuck) But I had to find the perfect shot. And if you look on the site you will see the breathtaking scene that I got to enjoy that day...although I was able to get this great shot I had some wonderful alone time with God and his creation as well....*(now just so you know when you look at the photo the web designer put the sunburst in and not me...just a little fyi...LOL).

If you would like to see my photography for this project here is the link to the website....be prepared to be blown away by these homes. These are definately not typical homes. The rest of my photos are on each tab and then under Gallery. Enjoy!!
http://www.dawsoncustomhomes.net/index.html
I am very grateful that Chuck gave me this opportunity. Not just to photograph these amazing homes but the whole experience.It was definately one I will never forget...

I hope that you will take a minute to check out the Dawson Custom Homes website...And if you are in need of a Home Builder in the Texas or Oaklahoma areas then Chuck is your man....

Today I dream for you a chance to be challenged in the area of something you enjoy. It's good to be stretched and not just be content where you are.

Well...have a wonderful day my friends....

Autumn in Wisconsin.....

What a wonderful day!!! It was a perfect Wisconsin Fall day....I tried my hardest not to think of the fact that days like this only mean that we are all that closer to Wisconsin Winter. Autumn is by far my favorite season since I have moved here. One of my biggest joys is standing in my kitchen with a glass of iced tea, the smell of fresh baking cookies in the oven and my favorite music filling every room. And looking out my open windows at the vibrant colors of browns, oranges and yellows...How can one help but smile??...  

Yesterday as I was driving back to my house from town and I was taken back to my first few years of living in Richland County.  I was driving Paul out to my house so that he could use my Jeep for awhile. He is one of the band members of Remedy Drive, a Christian Rock group that was performing for our community.  He was going to take his wife and their little girl  to do some sightseeing around the area.  Then they would pick me up later before the concert. It was so fun listening to all the comments that they made at how beautiful the area is. He and his wife both commented that they could see themselves living here.....What makes me sad is how easy it is to forget to look around and be appreciative for the gifts that God gives. Sometimes it takes seeing things through someone else's eyes to  remind us.

I am so very thankful for where I grew up. West Texas has it's own unique beauty. Sometimes you have to use more of your imagination but it is there nonetheless...LOL... There are the most incredible sunsets with such an assortment of colors. And you have not witnessed a exquisite starry night until you have layed on a the roof of a car in the middle of a cotton field in the darkness. Breathtaking!! You are literally surrounded by tiny sparkling lights. You can't help but smile and take a deep breath and ultimately feel closer to God. Then of course there are the West Texas storms. Although they are my least favorite things about West Texas, there is a definite beauty in being able to watch an oncoming storm for miles and miles away. And then the smell of the dirt mixed with rain and the crispness in the air as it closes in.....

I have traveled my fare share in my 40 years and I must say everywhere that I have been offered a unique beauty....God never ceases to amaze me at His creativity. It is impossible for me to pick a favorite. The mountains in Oregon were incredible. Swimming in the Mineral Springs in California were like nothing else I have experienced. But some of my favorite things have been star gazing on a mountain top in Hawaii and with my uncle in Pennsylvania on our way home from our day in New York City...Florida was more difficult to see God's work in the landscape but the people were wonderful. And of course there is Jamaica......That is where I am closest to God. So it is impossible to pick one area where I am more impressed with His awesome work while I am on the island. So much of that is because I am more relaxed while I am there.

LOL....as I write this I just can't help but think about the fact that yes it is absolutely God's beauty that warms my soul. But as I look back to every place that I have I have visited the beauty is actually a backdrop to the people that I am with....Sven and Deanna in Oregon... Scott and Kim in Michigan... all my family in Texas... Uncle Lynn in Pennsylvania...Florida with Carla and Bill... Bryan and Nichole and all my kids at the orphanage in Jamaica....Becca, Dustin, Rob, Nadine, Kurt and Andi in Hawaii...and then sharing the beauty of Richland County with all of my wonderful friends on a daily basis.....oh my I could go on and on....I am not only blessed to have seen so much of His creation but I have been so blessed to have shared it with some of the most wonderful people...sigh.....

Wow....that was fun visiting all those places in my mind....remembering how blessed I am at the incredible people that I am surrounded by....I know I didn't mention everyone that I have shared traveling memories with but I promise you that I know they are all special....I would love to hear some of your memories of times we shared together that you recall as well.....fun!!!

Well so let's see....I guess I dream for you the chance to stop and notice His creativity.....in the landscape that surrounds you....in the people that He places in your life....in the simple joy of a pumpkin spice cookie and a glass of iced tea....He is an Incredible God!!!

Uniquely different

Uniquely different, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

I dream of being different....

I added this to one of my favorite sites to a thread called No Comments Needed. But I was wanting to know that if you were walking around at an art exhibit and saw this photo what would you state that it said to you? You can say something as simple as fun or be as deep as you want. Thanks guys!p>

a not so normal day in the life of a nature photographer....

Yesterday made me question the idea of being a nature photographer. I was planning on going for a run but I changed my mind and grabbed my camera to go for a hike through the trails. Actually it wasn't quite as simple as that. First, a trip back to get a backpack with supplies - my other lense, water bottles, trail mix for me and treats for pup. Off again and realize I was already getting eaten by mosquitos - so home again, spray myself and decide to leave Pup home, he already looked exhausted.

The sun was bright but it was overhead which is awesome for light in the woods. First some photos of berries which are Everywhere right now. It is truly wonderful but berries cause me so much guilt. I should be doing something with the tons that are out there. I always look forward to them coming and then have a few handfulls, take some pictures and then I am sad when they are gone.



Next I head into the woods. In one spot I found about 8 different kinds of mushrooms. I think they are the most amazing and beautiful things. But photographing mushrooms is quite a dirty job. I have to get right down there and try not to think about what I am laying on or what might be crawling on me. I love looking for ones that God puts in just the perfect lighting for me. I feel like when I am doing nature photography I talk to God the whole time. Thanking him or asking him to show me something. He hasn't dissapointed me yet...:-)





Next I head to a spot that Rob and I had been to last week on the 4 wheeler. I had to go up this really steep part and through weeds (that as I looked down were complete nettles and some other vicious looking plant...but I was already this far...)So, I got to where I wanted to be. You see for the past 6 months or so Rob and D have been talking about this Grouse that they kept seeing - it was just crazy!! (I come to find out that statement may be truer than I thought) Dustin found her first. One day he was riding his 4 wheeler on a track that he had built. He said that this Grouse came and followed him the whole way around the track. It continued every time he went out there. And a few weeks ago Rob was out for a ride when we got a sudden downpour. As he sat under some bushes she came up and sat beside him. So the other day we went out and sure enough she came to meet us. She just walked around but never close enough to really touch.

So as I was getting closer I began to call for her and finally I just sat down with my water and trail mix to see if she showed up. And sure enough I here her walking through the trees. As she comes out of the brush I as tickled pink. I grab my camera and started snapping photos. But she evidently had not taken many modeling classes. If you have ever watched a bird's head it is moving ALL the time. So 95% of my photos were great of the body with this fuzzy head. I tried sharing my trail mix and talking to her but she had no interest. As I sat there at eye level watching her circle me I started to get a little worried - okay, I'll admit it - ALOT worried. This bird was staring me down. My heart started racing. What happened if she attacked? I KNEW I should have packed my cell phone. I was scared what might happen to me. I may have been young but I had seen Attack Of The Birds!!!!!!!!! Finally I got up so she atleast wouldn't peck my eyes out (you do remember about my Vivid Imagination don't you - sometimes it doesn't bode well for me..) I took a few more photos, grabbed my stuff and told her "fine, I'll leave you alone..." I headed up the hill and I turn and look - she wouldn't quit following me. So finally I looked at her and shouted.."I'll just go home are you Happy??" So, instead of finishing the shoot that I wanted to do I went the back way and headed home...So, yes - I got ran out of my own woods by a Stupid Bird.



I sat there in the yard pouring water on all my cuts on my legs and cleaning my knees of all the dirt. I began to wonder if going into the woods alone is really a smart thing to do. I mean - you know all those coyotes that I hear howling every night? Well they have to be somewhere around there. And if it is possible to have a crazy Grouse it is surely possible to have a crazy Coyote... I think I might just have to stick to photographing colored licorice unless Rob is home...Oh well, all in the day in the life of Me...

my little birdies....

Yesterday I discussed with my kids my desire to give them new nicknames. B is now Birdie and D is Vulture Baby. Allow me to explain...

About 2 weeks ago I was walking by a small tree and noticed a birds nest that had three beautiful blue Robin eggs inside. I made a mental note that I really wanted to get back there soon to take photos of the eggs. A few days past and I grabbed my camera and set out to the woods again. As I peeked in I was surprised to see that one of the eggs had hatched. Well, if you have ever seen a brand new baby Robin you will understand my desire NOT to take the photo. Baby Robins are not that cute when they are first born.....(Let me just say this is not the reason for the renicknaming of my children just in case you are starting to get concerned, they were adorable babies....)

So a few days later I thought maybe I would try to get pictures of the 3 baby birds in the nest. As I looked into the nest there was only one bird and no eggs. It made me sad to think of the poor Robin mother. The mother that was making terrible noises above me and swooping down trying to get me away from her remaining baby. I looked at the baby bird and decided it still needed to "ripen" a bit. It was mainly beak with a few crazy feathers - not really photo material. I thought I would come back in a few days.

That night as I lay in bed I was thinking about that little bird. About how I looked in that nest and his beak was WIDE open. Just waiting for his mom to come feed him. For his mom to give him Everything he was in need of. I was thinking that that is how our children are when they are born. Totally dependant on us.....And then - I began to think....now wait a minute this is still how my kids look....hhhmm....So as I was explaining it to B I said she is still like that little bird - she needs things but she doesn't make much noise. She may not always say she appreciates it but I know she gets what she needs and is usually satisfied. But then I was telling D I thought he was more of a Vulture Baby...I don't even know what they are like but that was as grand as my head could think. He laughed and said that sadly to say I was pretty right. He constantly is Needing something from me. He doesn't have a license yet so he needs a ride here and then picked up from there. He needs money for a new guitar pedal or he makes that cute face and asks me for some kind of airsoft gun supplies that he plays with his friends. He needs 4 pizza's and mountain dew to take to Band Practice with the guys. As I dropped him off at band practice yesterday he hollard to me "I'll call you to pick me up when we are done..." I looked at him and threw my head back and opening my mouth huge - he got the picture...

In case you were wondering why the picture above is not my personal photo. Well, there was a sad ending to the baby Robin story. Yesterday morning I thought that I would go take a picture of the bushy little baby bird. When I peaked into the nest.....No Bird.... I know that is like the Worst way to end a blog post huh?? But hey kids - that is Life - get use to it!! Have a great day!!

One of my loves is photography
so occasionally I will share some of my favorites.