Tuesday, July 20, 2010

friends forever.....

Holding Hands, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

This morning I woke up dreaming about growing old with my darling husband. We always wake up to the radio so you have no idea what you are going to hear. We have just learned not to set it for 5:20am because that is when Phil insists on playing a Polka for all the farmers in the barns(???) Everytime it comes on we are both like wet cats trying to get to the radio to shut it off. No one should have to hear that so early in the morning.

This morning it was one of our favorite songs that we have loved for years but it ALWAYS makes me cry and this morning was no exception. It is about this couple that are so in love and when they are apart they always ask..."where've you been - I looked for you forever and a day - where've you been - I'm just not myself when your away..." The last part is that they are both in a nursing home but in different places. She has lost her memory and doesn't recognize anyone. They wheel him into to her room and she reaches for him and as he strokes her air she says..."where've you been - I looked for you forever and a day - where've you been - I'm just not myself when your away..." ...I just tear up thinking about it now.

As we listened to the song I scooted over and Rob held me in his arms and just stroked my hair. I know him well enough that I know he had tears in his eyes too. I love these words because I have heard them so many times throughout our marriage. It's not because he doesn't want me to do other things. Just last night I went with some girlfriends to dinner and a movie and he Loves that I do those things. But for instance if I am up late at night in another room he will say..."Linda...are you coming to bed soon???" He always tells me that he can't sleep good unless I am next to him...aaahhh...so sweet.

I enjoy dreaming about getting older with Rob - traveling, playing with the grandkids, sitting in rocking chairs in his cabin on the hill watching sunsets.... But I don't like the part of when I think about loosing him or him loosing me. I know it's funny but I think I worry about him loosing me more. Not because he isn't capable of cooking for his self and stuff like that. But because I know I am his best friend. I know that he loves me more deeply than I thought it was possible for any man to love his wife. I love him just as much and we argue over who loves each other the most. But I think it's because I love him so much I don't want him to hurt that much...It honestly breaks my heart to even think about it...

We try not to think about it, about a life without each other. It just doesn't seem possible. We have been together for over 23 years and I love him more and more everyday. I think that we are very blessed. Not because we of what we have but because we know what we have. It breaks my heart when couples look at the negatives in their spouses. A friend of mine used the phrase "He is NOT my enemy.." I love that! When Rob does something that makes me upset it is not because he is my enemy. He is a gift from God. And how should I treat a gift that GOD has given to me. Satan is my enemy and one of his biggest projects to destroy are marriages.

So my dream for each of you today is to look at your spouse as a gift not as your enemy. Treat them as a best friend - and if they aren't your best friend work at making that happen....Have a blessed day All!!

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