The Joy of the Lord.....

Heart, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

Last night I was watching the Biggest Loser with my sweet husband. I have watched the transformations these individuals have made and it always moves me to tears. For so many reasons....I am so happy for them and for their families....I understand what that change is going to mean for them....I know their futures are forever changed....well, at least for the ones that truly "get it". The ones that have worked through their issues and know why they turn to food for comfort...why they would rather sit in front of a TV watching others loose weight than do it themselves.



I've been there. I've had the motivation and the time and the determination to get the weight off. To get healthy. But what I don't think I have ever dealt with is Why??...I keep repeating the same patterns throughout my whole life. And I keep ending up right back at the same spot or even worse. And so I gain weight and that makes me depressed and then I am depressed so I gain weight....



During a week moment last night I asked Rob if he would be my personal trainer. So when Rob takes something on he does it with everything he has. So this morning starting at 6 am he starts asking me if I am ready to get up and exercise....uuummm...NO!...It's dark and I'm sleeping!! So for the next half hour he worked on irritating me enough that I finally got up so he would quit bothering me. He informed me that we were going outside for a run...Are you CRAZY? It's 10 degrees outside...So he says.."then you will have to put on alot of layers..."



I knew Rob was taking this serious when we were ready to start he asked if he could pray...That was so Sweet!! As he was praying he said..."I thank you that Linda has the desire to be out here..." And I couldn't quit laughing....Ummm. I had the desire to go to a heated gym....You were the one who drug me out in the Frozen Tundra....



I will admit I was GRUMPY....He kept wanting to run and when I would "run" he was still walking...which makes me remember what a slow runner I am.....The farther we went I was torn...I was enjoying being outside but I kept getting madder and madder. He didn't realize that part of Bob and Jillian's role is counselor. So as much as I needed to exercise I needed to get stuff out...Why can't I get a handle on this???...Why do other people not struggle with this??...Why am I even trying???



At one point I had a visual....My heart was tired....Not physically (but it could be that too!) But my heart is just tired of everything........selfish people............people that I feel disappoint me........circumstances that I am tired of dealing with........tired of disappointing myself......I'm just tired!!



Last night I actually got out my book, Fearless Living. I have so many things highlighted and circled - I just started reading.....A few of them stood out....



But there is never a guarantee. While we wait for circumstances or people to change that are outside of our control, we can end up feeling sorry for ourselves, resentful and helpless...



Expectations will always build evidence for you and against others...



She had to accept where she was before she could move forward....


I could go on and on.....So many powerful things....that is what I want...To Live Fearless!!!!



I don't want others choices to affect me in such a way that I can't function.

I don't want to feel sorry for myself, resentful or helpless....

I don't want to put expectations on others so much so that it drags me down when they don't meet them..

I want to stop giving others control of my Joy and Peace!!

I want to accept where I am...to own it....so that I can move forward with my life!!!.....



So...does this all mean that in the morning I am going to jump up out of bed with a smile on my face and be ready to take on the day.....Ummm....I don't know if I would go that far. But I do know that I want to take my power back. I know to many people that are Negative....I don't ever want to be that....I often tell myself that I remember when I was a Happy Person.....I still have every reason to be happy. If others around me choose to live in constant negativity than I can't let that alter my life....




10 Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”



That is how I want to live my life....Enjoying food and not letting it dominate me......Helping those that are in need......and not grieving because I KNOW that my Joy comes from the LORD and I find my strength in HIM!!!!....

Can I get an Amen??......

Today I dream for you.....Joy.....the Joy that comes from HIM....not that Joy that the world offers that comes and goes...but the Joy that comes deep within your soul......



Have a JOYFUL day friend.....

Did Ya See Da 30 Pointer??

Our Cabin in the Woods....(okay Rich & Lisa own it now but I still call it Ours....)

Cabin, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

Well it has officially begun......When I woke up this morning to Da Yoopers singing The Second Week of Deer Camp, I knew that Deer hunting season is now upon us....


I myself am not a hunter....for many reasons.....


Reason # 1 being - if they would possibly make the season in June when I didn't have to wear 14 layers of clothing to stay warm I might consider it.


Reason # 2 - I can't sit still (the ADD ya know...(the ya know was said in a Canadian accent for effect...lol...) and with that one you can add that I like to talk......uummm yeah.......


Reason # 3 - The last time I held anything resembling a gun I was playing Lazer Tag in my sister Debbie's backyard in the early 90's. And I most likely was killed early on so not alot of experience......


Reason #4 -.......Ummmmm Bambi......Duh!!!!....


Reason # 5 - I have run out of wall space for deer heads in my house....


Reason # 6 - No matter what you do to cook it I can't pretend that venison is beef...it's Not!!!


Even though I am not a hunter my boys are. Every year Rob's cousins come and stay at our cabin in the woods. They live on the Illinois border but luckily they are on the Wisconsin side.....I don't think you could make it through Deer Camp in Wisconsin if you are officially from Illinois - the harassment might be unbearable.


When Larry and his crew get here on Friday night Hunting Season can truly begin.....Rob of course will be getting his license tonight (last minute) at the Boaz Country Store. Then he will head back to take part in the festivities....


I know alot of women have a hard time with this season but I personally Love it....

* I love pulling out of my driveway and knowing that Adam is the one sitting in the tree stand across the field. Then looking up towards the house seeing a glimpse of Rob in his orange and knowing that if I dare honked to say good morning it might send him into convulsions......LOL.....

*I love driving into town seeing all the guys along the way like little orange dots in the woods and then crank up my heat.

*I love that Saturday mornings (opening day of hunting) is the day that the town is filled with Craft Fairs for the women. I spent many years having my own booth and now I started the tradition of going with my friend Nichole just to enjoy.....

*I love nights like last night - Rob and D bustling around the house getting everything together.....talking nonstop.....

*I love the updates throughout the day hearing who has seen what and who the lucky one is that already got one....

*I love hearing the words...."we are headed out for a Drive!!" That means that they all get to work together and I know they have so much fun.....

*I love that D gets to hang out with his cousin Randy - riding 4 wheelers and being boys......

*I love when they come back from the Cabin telling about how stuffed they are from all the amazing food that Teresa sent along.

*I sort of love....driving to Boaz to see the Wall of photos of everyone with their deer....okay - not that one so much....I like getting a Diet Mountain Dew at the Boaz store....


*But most of all I LOVE to see Rob doing something that he enjoys....He does so much for our family and works so hard and very seldom takes time for himself. I know there are times that he thinks that he is just going to "skip it this year...." But I don't want him to....He needs to be one of the guys and tell stupid jokes and share this all with his son.....It sounds crazy and doesn't make sense at all to me but I know he needs it....Just as much as I need to drive to Madison with my computer and a book and sit in a chair at Barnes and Nobles doing the exact same thing I could be doing sitting in my own house (except no one is making a caramal macciato at my house...) He needs "guy time"....


So.....starting this evening I bid him farewell and then go rent some movies. And then I lay in bed at night warming up his ice cold feet while listening to all his stories of the day....(and Hopefully there are stories...it won't be good if there aren't - that's a whole other side of hunting......) And I know it's only for a short time....


So as I started out that this morning I heard the one song but tomorrow will be the Official Day....When I wake up to Phil playing......Did Ya See Da Thirty Pointer....It's like the bell toll.......Silly Silly Life.....


Here are a few videos for you if you are totally bored.....or if you should be working and you don't want to.....


The first one is one my sister Debbie told me about this morning....Bill Engvall talking about taking his wife deer hunting...Sooo funny - but be warned - you will probably end up watching several of his if you start.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zTFd93oAiA


And for those of you who have never had the pleasure of hearing Da Yoopers...I will apologize up front for the total waste of your life but it is just a part of our life "up Nort..."

Here is Thirty Point Buck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Utt_XgcWv8


And The 2nd Week of Deer Camp....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb9yhhflmvY


Well wasn't this special.....LOL.....So today I dream for you........Laughter at stupid stuff.....I say that because I have spent most of my morning listening to Da Yoopers and watching Bill Engvall videos and laughing the whole time....And I just realized I am still borderline grounded from my Internet. They said that I wasn't suppose to be watching videos for 30 days to get my usage down and I now probably ruined it with Da Yoopers.....**shaking head**....Oh Well......

Have a good day my friends......

Why can't I feel God.....

Pololu Vallay Lookout, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

As Christians many times it seems that our relationship with God is a roller coaster ride....We have wonderful highs where we see His beauty in everything around us. We are at peace and continuously feel his guidance in our life. A term that is often used is that you are enjoying a "Mountaintop Experience".......And then there are the times in our lives where we feel alone and abandoned. And at times even question His existence. That we are just "going through the motions." These times can be referred to as "being in the valley."

I have been a follower of Christ for most of my life so I have experienced the whole gamete of emotions that come with this relationship. This morning I received an email from a dear friend who is "walking in a valley." For the last year or so she just can't seem to find God anywhere. She misses those feelings that she use to have. The times where she would Sing and Dance and feel engulfed in His Love. But as we all know life gets busy and we get preoccupied and difficulties surround us. Next thing we know we try to find those "feelings" that we had with God and they aren't there. So we try to do the things we were doing before - hoping - praying - that we will feel Him once again. We sing the same songs. We go sit in the same places. We read the same verses. And then when we come up empty we feel abandoned. We start to question ourselves. What am I doing wrong? Why can't I get close to Him? Did I ever even feel Him before or is this just all a big game?......

Personally, the best way for me to think of my relationship with God is to relate it to my marriage.

When I first met Rob we couldn't spend enough time together. We would stay up late talking, learning about each other. I told Everyone about him. I wrote his name on my books..(I was still in High School...lol) And then we got married.....bu bu buuuummm.....And then you enter the “real world”. The times of gazing into each other’s eyes are long gone. There are bills to pay and children to raise and life gets crazy!!....
When I first moved to Wisconsin we had just started our business and I never saw Rob. He would leave the house at 5:30am and get home at 10:00pm to eat supper, sleep and do it all over again the next day….7 days a week…No cell phones, no way to keep connected….I was ALONE! Rob will admit that I basically raised both our children by myself. I was separated from my family by 1200 miles and none of our friends had children. We had "friends". But there was no one to talk to about the things that I was going through. Those years were hard...I remember thinking...What happened? I remember what life use to be like back in Texas. The man that I married was home at 4:30pm and we would sit on the couch and watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. We would go to the movies and out to supper. And now I just don't feel what I felt then… It wasn't that I didn't love Rob or that he didn't love me - that was never in question.. It was just that it didn't look the same or feel the same.....Those were definitely valley years for me and for Rob – and for our marriage...Many of you have heard me say...I cried for 6 years and I am not exaggerating..

Fast forward many years....at this point in our marriage I will say we are blessed tobe on a mountaintop...when I stand up here I can see things clearly, for what they really are. It was for the very best that I left Texas and came here. I found out who I am. I am stronger than I ever could have been if I would have stayed. I don’t believe I would have been the parent I am if we would have stayed. If I would have other mom’s around me to talk to maybe I wouldn’t have trusted myself enough and invested so much of me into making sure they were well rounded, responsible, loving and respectful children….now young adults…

Does it mean that we get to stay here on the mountain?...You might think it's crazy but honestly - I hope not...You see in the past 22 years Rob and I have have had many mountaintop experiences. But today when I look at them they are tiny hills. But we had to go through those to get to where we are now. Anyone who believes that Rob and I are the couple we are out of luck or because we choose to avoid things and just pretend to be happy on the outside have no idea at the work that we have done along the way...together. We will face new challenges. Maybe it will be our business or our health or any number of things... In fact - I will be honest with you - we both know that we are headed off our mountaintop soon. There are challenges that lie ahead but at least we know this one is coming, unlike the times you feel like someone just pushed you off a cliff. So we grab each other by the hand and vow to be a team in the valley. To remember the mountaintop and know that another one will be ahead but no guarantees as to how far. In the valley we have to make "us" a priority. We have to have dates even if they are talking about the kids or the business. And we know that sometimes it will feel like we are just “going through the motions.” But we HAVE to do it. Sadly there are times when we are in the valley that I whine and complain, “why can't I have now what I had then – it was better back there....I don't want to go any farther...I was satisfied with what we had”....WHY CAN'T I LEARN??????

God never promised us that a relationship with Him would be easy. Just like I was never promised marriage would be. In fact he assures us that it will be just the opposite. But He wants us to understand that those trials that we go through are good for us. We need those difficulties for our relationship to grow deeper. I would be disappointed if my relationship with Rob looked like it did when we first met. At that point there was no way of knowing that marriage could be like this. No one could have ever explained it to me. But to get here we had to go through the work, the tears, the arguments, the all night conversations. That is the way it is with my relationship with God. What if I would have thought that quoting scriptures and knowing every hymn in the red hymn book that set beside my bed was as deep as it got. I was Happy then. I honestly was. But then when I wasn't content with that I began to search for more and at times thinking that I lost Him because nothing felt the same. But then on the next mountaintop it was always better than the last....

 We all get discouraged in the valley. We all get lost and feel alone. Just don’t give up. It is through the valleys we learn the lessons we need to be able to move forward. And then with each mountain top you get closer and closer to Him.

Today I dream for you........I know that you want me to say mountaintops....I know you really do....so okay - I dream for you mountaintops....but not to stay forever - just long enough to get your bearings....to look around at where you came from..to be proud of the rugged terrain that you had to cross. To sit for a time and breath and think clearly. But then to know that there are other valleys that are ahead. And to give thanks for the small mountaintops that brought you higher each step of your journey.....

Have a beautiful beautiful day friend....

And now to share with you my very favorite verse in the Bible is James 1:2-7

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Morning Person

I think it's funny that I actually say this but I really love mornings. The reason I think it's funny is because I also really love sleep and I could set up camp in my bed for days. I think enjoying mornings has alot to do with my husband. He is without a question a morning person. He is able to get up at 5 am with a smile on his face and excited for the day. Someday I will have to blog about Rob's routines - hilarious!! But maybe that is why he is so happy. He's not stressed about what he's going to wear or eat for breakfast or any of that silly stuff.  Every morning he comes into our room and kisses me goodbye before he leaves....Did you notice - I am still in bed and have not gotten up to pack his lunch - Love That Part!!  I guess that is one reason my day starts off good. It's usually good until I have to pull D out of his bed to make sure he gets to the bus on time. But then it's back to being pretty good. Right now as we have discussed I am trying to get back into a routine. So I have started a new morning devotional that I do while I sit at the table drinking my Protein Shake (with Vanilla Almond Milk and Strawberries that I picked and froze this Spring...Yummy)

The devotional that I am using is a book that I got at the Women of Faith conference. It is by Patsy Clairmont who is one of my favorite authors and speakers. I can  relate to Patsy in so many ways. The obvious is her lack of height. I think she is a little less that 5' and I am only 5'2" so when she tells stories about living in a world not made for short people I feel a kind of sisterhood...LOL....The book is called Kaleidoscope and is about the book of Proverbs. She talks about how Proverbs basically has everything you need to know about life in it. But you may not ever see it until you need it. One day you may read something one way and a few years later when you combine it with events in your life it fits in a different way.....Just Beautiful!!

I am loving my morning devotional time again. I find myself drawing closer and closer to Him and it is such a good feeling. I am in a book club with some friends and we are reading the book "The Help". In the book one of the ladies talks quite a bit about writing out her prayers. She comments that writing them down allows her to connect with God more. I must agree but sometimes it's hard to write things out. It's like when you write it out than you really have to mean it. There are things in my life that I just don't want to deal with and I want to pretend they aren't affecting me. So when I pray, it is easy to throw up a Please Be With....... and then go onto the next thing. But when you write it out then it twists at your insides. It's like you have to confront it. Honestly it's not fun but it is the only way I know how to be real with God.

I say that this is my morning routine and yet already I was thrown off...This morning Rob needed a ride to town at 7:00 am to get the semi and so by the time I took him there while drinking my Protein shake, got back home, decorated my house with my Fall stuff (does that surprise you?) straightened up a little and now doing my blog my day is already messed up. It seems like it's a constant struggle with me...Routine...Consistency....hhmmm

Well, I had better wrap it up so I can get some things done around here. Today I dream for you Happy Mornings.....Are you a morning person.?....or are you one of those people that can't say a word until they have had their coffee?.... LOL...Well, no matter which one you are I am happy to have spent this time with you. Have a beautiful day friend....
 

a Sunrise..........the Risen Son....

A West Texas sunrise - beautiful!!
I dream of a sunrise....Across the world I know that people all have a similar feeling when they see the sun rise. There is something peaceful and energizing to see that big ball of light rise up on the horizon.

About 16 years ago Rob and I were in Colorado and took a few days to stay in a little cabin in the woods. We had decided that the one morning we would get up very early and head up to a mountaintop in Estes Park to watch the sun rise. So when we woke up we grabbed the muffins and juice that we had bought the night before and set out on our adventure. As we drove the curvy mountain roads lined with huge Pine trees the stillness was evident. It felt like as if we were the only ones in the world. But as we reached the summit we could see the other cars with people who had the same idea as us. We grabbed our little picnic and sat and waited. We noticed that as we found a place to sit the ground was covered in moisture from the night. I was very aware that as the sun rose and took it's place in the morning sky that moisture was soon be dried and covered with warmth. First from the deep darkness came a little glow in the sky and we knew it wouldn't be long now. Soon we began to see the outline of the greatness yet to come. There was such a mixture of excitement and peace along with the knowledge that this was a moment that I would never forget. As the beautiful creation came into clear view we were both quiet and just held each other. We admired it's grandness and beauty and neither of us at the time understanding the gift that we were truly being given that morning.

What is it that would make people leave their comfy beds to drive for miles to experience a moment like this? Honestly aren't we all searching. Searching for a way to be free from the darkness. Seeking to find a glimmer of light that will allow us to feel hope again. Searching for something to give us warmth once again. To dry the moisture that has been flowing from our eyes throughout the cold, dark night.

Is it any accident years ago the main point of reference for travelers was the sun? People wandering, trying to find their way from the place they were at to the place they wanted to be. Is it an accident that the name for the brightness that guides our steps in the morning and puts us to rest in the evening after watching us throughout our day is named the Sun.....any resemblance to Son??? Or should I say - the Risen Son????

Our world is full of visuals of the lessons that God is trying to teach us. Ways of knowing more fully who He is and the Love that he has for us. Some people think that He is a secretive God that has left us here to just survive until his return. That is so the opposite of who God is. He is seen in the flowers that share their grand beauty beginning from a tiny seed. He is seen in the face of a child as they wrap their arms around your neck proclaiming their love for you when you may feel the most unlovable.

At the beginning I stated that there are people all over the world that understand the awesomeness of a sunrise and yet at the same time it is sad that there are just as many that go from day to day not giving the sun a thought. With the exception of cursing the heat it gives or the glare of brightness that bothers their eyes. Or they complain that it has left and grumble at it to return. My heart breaks for those. Those are the people that the sun continues to rise for. The Bible states that God is not slow in His coming because He is not willing that any will perish...Our prayer is that one morning someone that we love that has not grasped the Love of the Son will see the Sun on the horizon and their days will be forever changed.

**To add a little side note to this story and knowing full well that if my children read this they will wince. But it was 9 months later that God blessed us with a beautiful baby boy. Our son has brought us joys and trials and yet I look at him and I have complete and absolute LOVE for him. He is the most amazing young man I have ever met and I thank God each and every day for allowing me to be able to hear him call me Mom....Thank You Thank You Thank You LORD!!!

Today I dream for you the ability to see the Son in a way that will bless your day...
Have a beautiful day my friends.....

my stud of a husband....

I am blessed to be married to the man of my dreams...

Last night the cutest thing happened. We were at Dustin's Feedback Concert (which was wonderful!!) I was sitting at a table with my friend Nichole and then Becca and 2 of her friends were on the other side. Becca said "mom do you know what she said? (referring to one of her friends..) She asked me if my Hot dad was going to be here...That is Gross!!" Then she said that her other friend agreed. I looked at her and chuckled and then said, "well he is Hot.." And the girls said..."SEEEE" I thought Becca was going to gag...So Funny! But the cute thing is that this has been going on since middle school. Rob has been banned from certain pairs of Wranglers if he is going to be around her friends. LOL!! I often think I don't know how I ended up with such a gorgeous guy. I remember the night I first saw him I totally thought he was out of my league. And yet for some strange reason he saw something in me. And I have been blessed ever since.

One evening I was out to supper with some girlfriends and Rob drove by in the dumptruck and honked. One of my friends looked at me and said, "your husband is so sexy..." I just laughed. Later she apologized for being so afront and said she wanted to explain why she said that. She said what made him sexy is not just his looks but how he treats me. How he looks at me and how he takes care of me. I had to agree.

I struggle alot with the idea that when I talk about Rob like this if it is bragging. I realize there is a time and place to say things and I try to be very aware of those times. But there is also something that I have vowed years ago. I will Never speak badly of my husband - EVER. I may joke around about the silly quirky things. But I will never attack his character or belittle him. In fact the more I lift him up, not only in his presence, the more confident a man he is. The same is true for my kids. I have always told my kids how Incredible they are and I look at who they are today. I think that has so much to do with how Becca is confident that someday the world will know her name as a famous photographer. And Dustin believes that the sky is the limit for him. I have made them very aware that as they go into the world there will not always be the cheerleaders there to boost their ego so from now on it has to come from within. I pray that I have made them Believe it in their soul that they are Amazing people and worthy of an Amazing life. And an amazing life isn't defined by the world's standards. That is why if it comes from within then the outward circumstances don't affect you as strongly.

So my dream for you today is to Believe that you are Amazing...today I am your cheerleader - You are amazing - believe it within your soul!!

friends forever.....

Holding Hands, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

This morning I woke up dreaming about growing old with my darling husband. We always wake up to the radio so you have no idea what you are going to hear. We have just learned not to set it for 5:20am because that is when Phil insists on playing a Polka for all the farmers in the barns(???) Everytime it comes on we are both like wet cats trying to get to the radio to shut it off. No one should have to hear that so early in the morning.

This morning it was one of our favorite songs that we have loved for years but it ALWAYS makes me cry and this morning was no exception. It is about this couple that are so in love and when they are apart they always ask..."where've you been - I looked for you forever and a day - where've you been - I'm just not myself when your away..." The last part is that they are both in a nursing home but in different places. She has lost her memory and doesn't recognize anyone. They wheel him into to her room and she reaches for him and as he strokes her air she says..."where've you been - I looked for you forever and a day - where've you been - I'm just not myself when your away..." ...I just tear up thinking about it now.

As we listened to the song I scooted over and Rob held me in his arms and just stroked my hair. I know him well enough that I know he had tears in his eyes too. I love these words because I have heard them so many times throughout our marriage. It's not because he doesn't want me to do other things. Just last night I went with some girlfriends to dinner and a movie and he Loves that I do those things. But for instance if I am up late at night in another room he will say..."Linda...are you coming to bed soon???" He always tells me that he can't sleep good unless I am next to him...aaahhh...so sweet.

I enjoy dreaming about getting older with Rob - traveling, playing with the grandkids, sitting in rocking chairs in his cabin on the hill watching sunsets.... But I don't like the part of when I think about loosing him or him loosing me. I know it's funny but I think I worry about him loosing me more. Not because he isn't capable of cooking for his self and stuff like that. But because I know I am his best friend. I know that he loves me more deeply than I thought it was possible for any man to love his wife. I love him just as much and we argue over who loves each other the most. But I think it's because I love him so much I don't want him to hurt that much...It honestly breaks my heart to even think about it...

We try not to think about it, about a life without each other. It just doesn't seem possible. We have been together for over 23 years and I love him more and more everyday. I think that we are very blessed. Not because we of what we have but because we know what we have. It breaks my heart when couples look at the negatives in their spouses. A friend of mine used the phrase "He is NOT my enemy.." I love that! When Rob does something that makes me upset it is not because he is my enemy. He is a gift from God. And how should I treat a gift that GOD has given to me. Satan is my enemy and one of his biggest projects to destroy are marriages.

So my dream for each of you today is to look at your spouse as a gift not as your enemy. Treat them as a best friend - and if they aren't your best friend work at making that happen....Have a blessed day All!!

Rob has a dream...Really??.......

Last night Rob took me out onto the hill where we sat so that I could get a photo before the sun went down. It was in the middle of supper. We raced up the hill and I took 2 photos and my battery died....He just shook his head....<3



I have the most wonderful husband Ever but we do go through difficulties...(i know shocker, huh? Well, unless you have sat at the supper table or been on a car ride with us..lol..) Honestly one of the points of contention is about dreaming and setting goals. As you are well aware of, I Love to have Dreams and set Goals and make Lists about Everything. So you can imagine my frustration when, years ago,the 2 of us are lying on a blanket looking up at the sky and I ask my dearly beloved what kind of things he dreams about. He then gives me his reply..."I don't have dreams" .."Ummm excuse me - maybe you don't understand what I mean...What are your goals for the future?" - and again I am stunned when he replies with "Linda, I have no Goals."..Gasp.... We must be talking in different language and well, in fact we are. Rob has never understood my life as a dreamer. Sometimes he looks at me with blank stares and I know he hears nothing more that the language of Charlie Brown's teacher. And yet he has always let me dream as big as I wanted. He lets me talk and show him charts and magazine cutouts. He then basically kisses me and pats me on the head and tells me that he loves me then goes about his life.

But I can't say that I respect his stance as much....I mean a life without hopes and dreams? - I can't fathom...So, I go about trying to coax him into being a dreamer. I think if I bring it up in different situations or show different ways of looking at it then he will allow his mind to drift and see endless possibilities for his life....His response..."Linda - my dream is to get the next job and my goal is to get it done"....(pretty cut and dry)

Well, on Sunday evening he and I went for a 4 wheeler ride. We ended up on a hill on the other side of our property. Although we live on a hill now we are set in the woods and you can't see the landscape for most of the year. Yet on this hill we sat there on the 4 wheeler looking out for miles at the beauty of the tops of green trees and cornfields. We could see the next ridge with it's corn silos and barns. So, Rob started talking about how he would love to build a cabin up there. With a covered porch so he could sit in his rocking chair and watch the storms come in and enjoy the sunsets. He knows that in the backyard is the best fence row for finding morel mushrooms...(oops did I put that in print...yikes..). I watched him talk about it and then I sat completely still for fear that if I moved it would break the moment. And then finally I spoke...."see, you do dream....sigh..." So, we sat there for quite awhile thinking and planning knowing full well at the reality that it may not happen but enjoying it just the same. (For me it's probably not happening because it would would be a cabin with an outhouse and no internet....calm down...I'm just kidding - a little..)

There is a funny side note to all of this...as we sat there on our 4 wheeler looking out on the valley and dreaming about building there we both laughed. Almost 13 years ago we sat on a 4 wheeler in about the exact place I am sitting at this moment. The snow was falling and as this West Texas girl looked out over the beautiful scene through the barren trees I asked if there was any way possible to build a house on this hill. He looked around and said he thought it could happen. And so my sweet husband went about making yet another one of my dreams a reality. And this is where I have to say that although Rob may not be a dreamer he has pretty much benefitted off of mine. I tell him that without my dreams we would still be living in a 1971 mobile home and driving a brown AMC spirit!! LOL!! We balance each other perfectly. I am a dreamer but he is a follow thougher....Man I love that guy!!

driving without fear.......

Photo of our 2009 trip to Hawaii




I dream of being able to drive without the fear that something terrible is going to happen. Lately it seems as though every time I turn around there is another terrible car accident and someone was seriously hurt or even killed. In fact just as I started this post I walked into the other room for a minute and on the radio was a story about another terrible accident involving a truck but I couldn't even bring myself to listen to the details.

Just a couple of weeks ago there was an accident involving 4 young girls (2 local). It was a senseless accident and 3 were killed and 1 was seriously injured. Although I didn't really know the girls we are very close to the man who first arrived on the accident...Just Heartbreaking!! The fact that that scene is in his mind breaks my heart and my prayers are with him as much as for the families that are hurting. Just as for the sister of a good friend who was in an accident yesterday when a young girl came across the center line and although she had only minor injuries after rolling her van the young girl was killed.

The list goes on and on of people that I know are hurting. Most of the time I am fine while I'm driving but there are times I pray that God would put angels around my vehicle and protect me and please don't let me accidentally hurt anyone else. That happened to a good friend of ours. Late one night coming home from a family reunion. He has no idea what happened but was positive he hadn't fell asleep but the next thing he knew he had crossed the center line and hit a woman and she was killed. I will never pass that spot again without saying a prayer for peace for him. I just can't imagine the pain he goes through.

What brings this to my mind today is because of a drive home last night. My husband and I had went to Iowa for a birthday party. We crossed the river and when we turned a car came right upon us and turned as well. The roads are terribly curvy and there was no place for him to pass so he stayed right tight to us. Finally he passed and we saw he was pulling a boat and he was going very fast. We were about to make a right turn anyway and be done with him. As we put on our blinker we moved in the turning lane he was in the left one (no blinker)we turned and he made a quick right turn as well. So now he was behind us again. So, instead of messing with him I went a few blocks and just pulled to the right to let him pass so we could just be on our way. He then was out of sight until we crested a hill and he was in a parking lot as if to pull out in the road. As we approached he had his window down with his hand out and pulled out as if he was going to pull out in front of us (insanity!!) As I hit my breaks he backed off and then screamed something. As we passed he quickly pulled out and headed a different direction...CRAZY!

This is the kind of things that scare me. There are irresponsible Morons that should not be behind a wheel. There are young people that think that they are invincible and don't understand the consequences for their actions. Then there are good hearted people that a split second changes so many people's lives.

I know that the Bible says that we aren't to worry but I do. I worry that that will be me (on either side - because either one would be horrific). I worry that it would be my husband, my daughter or now my son who has just gotten his permit. I believe that the older we get the more we realize the fragility and briefness of this life. That we want to hang on to as much of it as we can. I feel like I find myself almost breathing in my surroundings and the small moments of time I don't want to forget. I feel like if I stop and stare longer or breath deeper or hold tighter than it will become a part of me.

I realize that todays blog isn't the most uplifting and hopefully I will bring you some humor throughout the week. But I just think of all those families this morning that this is their daily struggle - how to function in the midst of this kind of tragedy. So with that I would say...My dream for them is to feel a little less hurt today...to feel a little more peace...and that they would feel the loving arms of their heavenly father wrapped around them....

closer to Amish than I had hoped.....

Today I am dreaming that I was not grounded from my internet....Yep!!! The last few days my internet has been so slow and when I called today to find out what was up they explained that I went over my usage for the month....:-(

So what this means is they are penalizing my for the next month...I don't get it either!! I even upgraded my plan and yet it won't kick in until the beginning of August. So, this month I have to be very careful on my usage so I don't go over again or it will take longer for it to start over in August.

I tried explaining to them that I have a blog now and people are depending on my. That I finally found something that I was sticking to. All my whinning was in vain.

So do you remember in one of my blogs I said that one of my goals was to go a week without electronics? I am closer than I hoped to be. Right now we have no dish - so we have 2.5 channels to watch on TV. Even though we live on top of a hill we get no cell service at our house. And now limited internet....

Rob's dream has always been to be Amish. He would rather us never have TV again and he doesn't know how to turn on the computer. He lives in the garden and gets up before the sun rises (and would be happy if the rest of his family did as well..) ...I just told him that I refuse to wear a dress and a bonnet!!!

FUN at the Wanless Home!!!

meeting the man of my dreams...

One of the benefits of being a dreamer is the ability to transport yourself back in time and loose yourself in a memory. At 6 o'clock this morning my sweet husband, Peter comes in our room like he does every morning with a glass of water and some medication that I have to take daily. (he knows how I have a difficult time with consistency..) Peter is a nickname that I gave to him a few years ago. In the Bible Peter's name means "The Rock" and that is what he is for me...My Rock.. This is only one of the many sweet things he does for me and it Always makes me smile (even though it IS 6 a.m.). This morning as he walked in I was looking out the window smiling and he asked me what was making me so happy. I told him I was thinking about the day we met. He just laughed - sometimes he doesn't understand how my head works but he agreed it makes him smile too.

I had no clue that warm Texas night on March 14, 1987 as I got ready to go cruise 34th Street with my friends that my life would forever change in so many directions. If I had, I would have paused to savor so many of those moments. As I picked out the crazy floral skirt and that silly bright yellow sweater I would never have dreamed the impact it would make on a certain young man I was about to encounter.

The week before, my long time boyfriend informed me that we should "see other people". So Zanna Sue, one of my best friends decided I needed to get out of the house. We stopped by and picked up another friend who lived down the road from me and we headed to town in Zanna's mom's Ford Escort with LAW license plates.(..lol...inside joke...) The thing to do on a Friday night was to cruise 34th street from the car wash to the Easy Mart. Well, at one point we see this car - it was a Red 1969 Chevelle with a black top and Wisconsin plates. And driving this car was the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen! We saw him and his 2 friends a few more times and then finally we pulled up side be side at a stop light (in front of der Weinershnitzel..lol) and we both had our windows down. That was the first time I saw those Incredible Blue eyes. Zanna leaned over and asked him..."Hey, are you Really from Wisconsin?" And that was where it all began...

So, I TOTALLY realize that this next step was irresponsible and if it were my daughter I would have gone completey insane and I would not recommend this to any young girl but nonetheless this IS part of OUR story... We went to a park that was nearby and we all 6 got out. We sat on the swings for awhile and chatted. It turns out these guys were in the Air Force...Oh, My...this made everything even more exciting..not just your average idiot high school boys. (once again, I know, we should have ran...) We decided to walk a few blocks for Zanna to show us a house she lived in when she was little. So, as we walked it turned out that Peter and I sort of ended up side by side just chatting away like crazy. He was telling me about his family and his life in Wisconsin and I shared my life as well. As we turned to head back he reached over and held my hand. We had to get going and so he walked me to our car. As the others got inside the cars we stayed back - I still remember us staring into each others eyes in the moonlight - sappy, I know, but true. Then he reached down and gave me a light kiss...sigh....Knowing him like I do now that was SOOO out of character for him. When I asked him about that later he just said, "I knew I had to do Something...I knew you were special...and I didn't know how to make sure you remembered me..."

We didn't even exchange numbers that night which makes the story even better. We had mentioned to them where we were going to be the next evening....So, to shorten the story, atleast a bit....That next night in walks the Man of My Dreams....I know, more sappy stuff, but so true. That evening we sat a talked for hours and we finally exchanged phone numbers. He called me that week and our first date was on my birthday the next weekend.

He IS the Love of my Life and I tell him often....This morning as he sat and waited for me to take my medicine he said those words to me as well. We realize we have a fairytale marriage. We have been through our fair share of difficul times. Uncertain times. I have not always been the wife he deserved and I have been deeply hurt by actions of his as well. There have been Many tears shed throughout our marriage. But we can both honestly say there has not been one moment in 23 years that I haven't Loved him. And we are not about to take that Love for granted - not one minute...He is the most amazing man God could have ever blessed me with...He is My Rock.....

simpler life

I dream of a simpler life....More sitting on the porch with my wonderful husband in our rocking chairs watching the sunset. More sitting on D's bed listening to him play his guitar and sing songs to me. More time cuddled up next to B watching silly movies without distractions and watching her laugh. When I think about my life I want to live more in the present. I want to take hold of the moments that are going by much to fast.