frustrated with my failures

Taking a picture of my Coaching books atleast made me get them off
the shelf....Now maybe I will open them up....:-)

As you might have noticed I have been gone for awhile. I tried to decide if I discuss the reasons why or if I just go on to new topics such as Christmas Trees and Snow Days....but....I decided I needed the therapy session. A chance to talk it through in my head and maybe sort some things out.

Well the number one reason that I haven't blogged is mainly....because it was going good...Yep, that is the usual reason I stop doing something I love. I knew it was coming when I received the email that my blog is going to be featured with a story I wrote for my favorite website...InCourage on the 17th of this month....

This is so much of a pattern for me that it is completely insane. If I listed all the things throughout my life that I began and didn't finish it might be the size of a set of Encyclopedias. But it's most frustrating when I LOVE what I am doing and there is no reason for me to stop....but I do.... and once again....I feel like I have failed....

My hardest "failure" within this last year was my Life Coaching class. I LOVED it!!! I mean ALOT!! I loved everything about it. I loved the books. The teachers. The people that I was meeting. The classes were taught by teleconferencing a few days a week and so it was Perfect! ....And the things that I was learning were not only helping me move toward my dream of being a Life Coach but they were helping me through obstacles in my own life as well.... Wonderful!!....

The incident that stands out in my memory of when it came to a halt was when we had to start finding people that would be willing to have us coach them. I contacted one of my friends that actually started me blogging. I asked her if there was an area that she would want to work on....Organization, Scheduling, Tasks that she wanted to get done. She was very excited and willing. I emailed her a worksheet filled with questions that let me know her style and where she hoped to make progress....It was Great. She was excited. I was excited. And so.....of course....I Stopped....I remember getting her email back and looking over it and beginning to form a plan. I don't really remember the thought process that happened next.... All I do know is that time went by and I didn't respond to her and I hadn't done any of my classes and since that day I haven't opened one of my books.

Every once in awhile I try to be strong and I will stare at my books on my shelf and I really want to open them...if for no other reason than for myself. But I haven't gotten that strong yet. There is the failure on many levels....Of course there is the money that I "wasted"...that is my biggest guilt. Then the reality that I have yet another dream to throw in my bucket of UnAccomplishments.....sigh....

The other day something happened that made me realize that I need to really work through this and get a handle on it. The last few months I had been working on getting in shape and loosing some weight. I was doing okay and was down about 25 pounds and feeling good. No one had really said much but I was feeling great. Some things happened in my life and I relapsed. I was eating terrible and I had quit exercising. A couple of weeks went by and during 1 particular week I had 5 different people ask if I had lost weight or say that I was looking good. I would say...No - in fact I have gained weight back...trying to convince them of how bad I had been. When I would get home I would eat uncontrollably things that I hadn't eaten for months.

The worst was the day I was getting dressed and I put on a pair of blue jeans that had gotten pretty loose on me...I pulled them up and struggled to button them....I actually uttered the words...."there....see....I told you...."....I stopped myself and just stood in my closet and cried. I would love to say I got a grip and things are back on track but they have only gotten worse.....So now throw on the anger at what I have done to myself, the disappointment and the frustration.....Do I see why it happened - of course....I had a goal - fit into a certain pair of jeans by Christmas....Feel good by our trip to Jamaica....Be a runner by 1-11-11.....What happened??? I was getting close..........

.....sigh....what now?....Well I figure today was a step...blogging again....getting back up on that horse. And this morning I told Rob that I plan to exercise today He kept saying that he was so proud of me..... and I want him to be...and I want to be proud of me too!!....

Now I do realize that it's only 7 am and many times I think I can conquer the world while I'm in my PJ's and lying in my bed. But the real test will be when I put my feet on the floor. But hey, I figure that at least I am wanting it all again and that is a step...some days you take what you can get....

I know for a fact that Satan knows our weaknesses. And many days I think that he must have mine on a neon flashing light over his desk so that he is sure to never forget. He knows how to bring me down to a level where I am not productive and filled with despair.....and so today I claim....SATAN - YOU WILL NOT STEAL MY JOY!!!

Today I dream for you....fulfillment...completion...achievements....I dream that you can focus on something that you want and that you can see it  through until the end. That you can find the discipline and determination to follow through, so that on the other end you can look back and be proud and strong.....

Have a beautiful day my friend...<3

my love for writing.....

I have always enjoyed writing for as long as I remember. If passions are indeed generational then there is no doubt that I followed in my mother's footsteps. I have so many memories of Momma writing poetry and songs. If you knew what my life was like growing up it wouldn't surprise you at all to know that my first memory of writing a story was that it was actually written by Momma. I think I may still have it in a box of memorabilia. I remember coming home with my assignment and showing it to her. Then when I came home from school the next day Momma had a story wrote for me....It was about a girl and her friend and how they wanted to be ballerinas. The reason I say it was typical of my life is because Momma was not the typical mother that made sure you followed through with homework or even really knew what we had going on in school. And there were many memories of waking up in the morning to Momma asking me if I wanted to stay home from school. School was not a big priority in our home so if Momma wanted to do some of my homework than more power to her....

The embarrassing thing is that my next writing memory also involves a story that wasn't my own. I was a Sophomore in high school. I don't remember the assignment but I remember my story clearly. I remember drawing a blank and one night while listening to the radio I heard a song that I had never heard before and thought the subject was incredible. So if I remember correctly I basically plagiarized the whole thing and turned in my paper. Well to my fortunate surprise our teacher that year must have lived in a cave without a radio because I not only received an A but she commented on how much she loved the subject. So for the last 25 years I have been unable to hear the song "The Cat's In the Cradle" by Harry Chapin without getting nauseous....ummmm yeah Linda let's pick a song that is going to be an national icon....geez.... I often wonder what her thoughts were the first time she heard the song after grading my paper. Let's just say I was never so happy to see a teacher leave our school after one year than her. 

Since high school I have many memories of writing. I remember writing a series of children's books when my kids were little which had characters that were machinery. They moved about and did different things and the stories had a moral to teach kids......Well, my first problem was finding anyone who could draw a bulldozer holding a baseball bat...no one could seem to envision what was going on inside my head and I felt that kind of ....pat her on her head and tell her good job....kind of feeling. So I put them away and gave up on that silly dream...Within a few years I remember my jaw dropping the first time I saw Bob the Builder...."IT'S MACHINERY WITH EYES!!".... Followed by Thomas the Train and a steady flow of similar material. Sure, I could have had the mindset that this was a prime opportunity to jump in but the reality was that I didn't know the first step in getting a story published. So my dream set on a shelf.

After that my writing basically consisted of family Christmas letters until I decided to return to school life in 2004. My first 2 classes were Speech and English....- talking and writing.....I was in Heaven !! My classes reignited a passion for writing that I had forgotten was there. I remember how insanely difficult my History classes were but knowing there was little else that I wanted to do at that time than sit and listen to Dr. Zorea discuss the Cold War....It was like a rebirthing of my mind.

I received my Associates degree a few years ago and I cannot even begin to count the times I have questioned what is next....I have one child in college and my 2nd will be there before I know it. I have so many dreams that jump around in my mind....Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Professional Organizer or maybe just run away to a far away land with my husband.....aahhhh....But honestly with everything I see in my future it somehow includes writing. I want to write a Parenting book, A book on Worship, A book on Organization.......there are so many things that go through my mind but I just don't know where to start.....

This morning I went into my office that is lined with countless books that I have collected through the years. There was a book that I remember purchasing during that first English Class.....It is called The Writer's Idea Book.....As I thumbed through it I got that excitement in the pit of my stomach again. The book is designed with different "prompts" to help you stretch your writing mind....I felt like a little kid getting giddy with the possibilities......

In a few days it will be December....I have no idea where this year has gone...So I know that before I know it I will be sitting at my computer writing my 2011 Christmas letter. What will it say???.....What will this next year be filled with....It doesn't even seem possible that I will be writing that my children will be 20 and 17.....The 19 and 16 are difficult enough for me to process this year....But what will I be able to say about my life...what challenges will I overcome.....what adventures will have I have lived .....Where will my love for writing weave itself into my hopes and dreams.......sigh....

Today I dream for you a memory.....stop and remember a love that you have had since you were a child...was it cooking.....dancing.....singing.....painting....taking care of animals....teaching.....the ideas could be endless......What of those passions can you see resurfacing throughout your life.....What is God calling you to do with that passion.....And the most important question...what is keeping you from living it......

Have a passion filled day my friend.......

Did Ya See Da 30 Pointer??

Our Cabin in the Woods....(okay Rich & Lisa own it now but I still call it Ours....)

Cabin, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

Well it has officially begun......When I woke up this morning to Da Yoopers singing The Second Week of Deer Camp, I knew that Deer hunting season is now upon us....


I myself am not a hunter....for many reasons.....


Reason # 1 being - if they would possibly make the season in June when I didn't have to wear 14 layers of clothing to stay warm I might consider it.


Reason # 2 - I can't sit still (the ADD ya know...(the ya know was said in a Canadian accent for effect...lol...) and with that one you can add that I like to talk......uummm yeah.......


Reason # 3 - The last time I held anything resembling a gun I was playing Lazer Tag in my sister Debbie's backyard in the early 90's. And I most likely was killed early on so not alot of experience......


Reason #4 -.......Ummmmm Bambi......Duh!!!!....


Reason # 5 - I have run out of wall space for deer heads in my house....


Reason # 6 - No matter what you do to cook it I can't pretend that venison is beef...it's Not!!!


Even though I am not a hunter my boys are. Every year Rob's cousins come and stay at our cabin in the woods. They live on the Illinois border but luckily they are on the Wisconsin side.....I don't think you could make it through Deer Camp in Wisconsin if you are officially from Illinois - the harassment might be unbearable.


When Larry and his crew get here on Friday night Hunting Season can truly begin.....Rob of course will be getting his license tonight (last minute) at the Boaz Country Store. Then he will head back to take part in the festivities....


I know alot of women have a hard time with this season but I personally Love it....

* I love pulling out of my driveway and knowing that Adam is the one sitting in the tree stand across the field. Then looking up towards the house seeing a glimpse of Rob in his orange and knowing that if I dare honked to say good morning it might send him into convulsions......LOL.....

*I love driving into town seeing all the guys along the way like little orange dots in the woods and then crank up my heat.

*I love that Saturday mornings (opening day of hunting) is the day that the town is filled with Craft Fairs for the women. I spent many years having my own booth and now I started the tradition of going with my friend Nichole just to enjoy.....

*I love nights like last night - Rob and D bustling around the house getting everything together.....talking nonstop.....

*I love the updates throughout the day hearing who has seen what and who the lucky one is that already got one....

*I love hearing the words...."we are headed out for a Drive!!" That means that they all get to work together and I know they have so much fun.....

*I love that D gets to hang out with his cousin Randy - riding 4 wheelers and being boys......

*I love when they come back from the Cabin telling about how stuffed they are from all the amazing food that Teresa sent along.

*I sort of love....driving to Boaz to see the Wall of photos of everyone with their deer....okay - not that one so much....I like getting a Diet Mountain Dew at the Boaz store....


*But most of all I LOVE to see Rob doing something that he enjoys....He does so much for our family and works so hard and very seldom takes time for himself. I know there are times that he thinks that he is just going to "skip it this year...." But I don't want him to....He needs to be one of the guys and tell stupid jokes and share this all with his son.....It sounds crazy and doesn't make sense at all to me but I know he needs it....Just as much as I need to drive to Madison with my computer and a book and sit in a chair at Barnes and Nobles doing the exact same thing I could be doing sitting in my own house (except no one is making a caramal macciato at my house...) He needs "guy time"....


So.....starting this evening I bid him farewell and then go rent some movies. And then I lay in bed at night warming up his ice cold feet while listening to all his stories of the day....(and Hopefully there are stories...it won't be good if there aren't - that's a whole other side of hunting......) And I know it's only for a short time....


So as I started out that this morning I heard the one song but tomorrow will be the Official Day....When I wake up to Phil playing......Did Ya See Da Thirty Pointer....It's like the bell toll.......Silly Silly Life.....


Here are a few videos for you if you are totally bored.....or if you should be working and you don't want to.....


The first one is one my sister Debbie told me about this morning....Bill Engvall talking about taking his wife deer hunting...Sooo funny - but be warned - you will probably end up watching several of his if you start.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zTFd93oAiA


And for those of you who have never had the pleasure of hearing Da Yoopers...I will apologize up front for the total waste of your life but it is just a part of our life "up Nort..."

Here is Thirty Point Buck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Utt_XgcWv8


And The 2nd Week of Deer Camp....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb9yhhflmvY


Well wasn't this special.....LOL.....So today I dream for you........Laughter at stupid stuff.....I say that because I have spent most of my morning listening to Da Yoopers and watching Bill Engvall videos and laughing the whole time....And I just realized I am still borderline grounded from my Internet. They said that I wasn't suppose to be watching videos for 30 days to get my usage down and I now probably ruined it with Da Yoopers.....**shaking head**....Oh Well......

Have a good day my friends......

Repairing and Forgiving

My memory is a crazy crazy thing.....You would think that with such an amazing memory I would remember to do things like pay bills on time or to give my dog his medicine....but Alas.........No.....(in all honesty I remember those things, it is just the lazy part of me that walks by and says....hhmmm...I"ll do it later....But that is a whole other blog so we will leave it at that.....)

I spend insane amounts of time recalling things like the layout of my high school, junior high or even elementary....which teacher was in which classroom and sleeping under the teachers coat closet was the best place for naps when we were in kindergarten. Or things like remembering what I wore to the Rick Springfield concert....I can remember that my favorite thing to eat at Paco Taco in the mall when I was a kid was a Chalupa and that the Potato Factory was across from it but was only there for a few months....I remember songs I sang in Vacation Bible School at Ropes and the layout of a girl's house I had a sleepover with in Fort Worth the summer I stayed with Debbie in 4th Grade......

Why do I remember this stuff? Why do I care to remember this stuff at all????? I honestly have no idea.

Most of the time it is fine....exhausting but fine. But what I was thinking about this morning is what I can't remember. I had a normal upbringing I guess you could say....LOL....(a whole lot of stuff just went through my mind as I wrote that and thought...normal huh????....) But in the scope of things it was pretty typical.

I can almost picture the moment when as kids we stepped past the threshold of the days of everyone being everybody's friends to "groups". I remember looking at the girls that had spent the night with me celebrating my 9th birthday at the roller rink screaming out the windows of Diane's yellow Vega...."HEY AMERICA....PEACE TO THE COUNTRY!!" and laying in my bed when Diane and Neil came to my bedroom window and scared us to death while laughing hysterically. But within 6 months there was a line....I knew it and they knew it.....

As much as I can remember I can't remember who my friends were for the next several years. Now don't think that I'm saying that I don't remember their names because I can pretty much tell you everyone that was in my 6th grade class and where they sat in Coach Timmon's room. But I don't know if I had a "group". I don't remember sleepovers or birthday parties....I wonder about that young girl and how sad she must have been during that time.

When I was in Junior High I made cheerleader.....LOL...(that is another one that I will blog about later because that is a whole story in and of itself...) But you would think that being cheerleader would have moved me into a new "group". Nope, it just made the differences stand out even more. There were people that made sure even harder that I knew my place and my place was not with them.

High School got better....I found Suzy and Gina....LOL...funny - I say that like it was such a big school. It wasn't that I couldn't see them within our class of 26 students. But finally in High School we became a "group". I have memories of the first time watching Prince's VHS Purple Rain at Suzy's house. I have memories of waking up on Saturday mornings in Gina's room to her dad playing county music on his guitar. The memories of our 4 years could fill a book for me.

But so writing all of this the crazy thing I have been thinking is that I can't remember the bad stuff. I mean....I can....but I have to think really really hard. The other stuff flutters through my head endlessly but the really rotten cruel things that I know happened to me don't come so easy. There are times that I start to wonder if this is what they mean by stuffing things down deep inside. That one day I am going to "Snap" and it is all going to surface......that freaks me out just a tad bit....

Since those school days I have had my share of rude and malicious people that have come through my life. I have had hurtful things done and said to me....But honestly those memories come back to me very rarely. It's times like this as I bring it to my mind that my heart hurts for the girl/woman who was on the receiving end of many incidents that could have caused irrevocable damage.

So what brings this whole topic about...........well......Yesterday was quite a day.....maybe someday I'll blog about it more in depth but right now I just want to hold it and not speak to many words into it.....but long story short a relationship that was very important to me had been somewhat fractured....okay that is putting it mildly...maybe a full body cast...It was a slow process but finally in a matter of moments it was over.... I couldn't imagine how God could repair it....And yet Yesterday through a series of incredible and only God circumstances I sat last night holding the hand of one of the most precious people in my life.....crying and laughing and being honest about where we both had been in our lives....

Being friends for as long as we had been there was hurt along the way...I'm sure there was...But I don't remember it unless I try really hard. If I'm in a bad mood or in a pity party I can dig around and bring stuff to the top. But day to day that hasn't been what I think about. I think about Kwik Trip Chunkalunkas and how I miss her handwriting. So yesterday morning when God put things into motion I couldn't even remember how we had gotten to where we were and honestly I didn't care.....

Yesterday I wrote on my Facebook Page..."Have you ever known me to hold a grudge?....I think it's my ADD"....I really have a hard time staying angry at people......

***(Now even though I say that - there are people throughout my life that have said mean things about me and have done things that make me realize that it is not healthy to be in their presence....I may not hold a grudge but I am not a "wet noodle"....LOL.... )***

But I do think there are several reasons I am who I am...I would Love to be able to say.....I am able to Forgive others because of my amazing prayer life...I am so in touch with God...I realize that the forgiveness that he bestowed upon me is the same that I should offer to those around me....
But sorry to disappoint you....although that is somewhere deep inside, my main reason is honestly that I want to Love my life.....I HATE being bitter....being angry....being sad......I LOVE to laugh so hard I pee my pants....to see others happy....to hug and encourage and bring joy to those around me......

A few months ago I had the opportunity to sit down with a woman that was actually one of those girls from my childhood days....one that was in another "group". I was home and we decided to meet for lunch. We hadn't seen each other in over 20 years. It's that same story I told you earlier...I never dwelled on the hurts caused by her and her friends but if I concentrated I know they were there. We were both rather nervous but as we sat down we began to talk first about our lives now but then we went back to those days....She apologized for the things that she had done...for they way she treated me.....And I was able to get a glimpse inside of her life and what it was like for her back then as well......We sat and talked for 3 hours....3 beautiful hours.....

I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for that opportunity......And I am beyond thankful for last night to reconnect with a dear dear friend.....

****Now this I share as humbly as I possibly can........this is by no means bragging and as you read this I need you to understand my intention when I say these words.........I am so blessed that God has given me a heart to forgive.....that He has given me a memory that is more inclined to remember the good than the bad...I am by no means perfect....I still do have my pity parties where I spread my sorrows out on the floor and roll around in them....Although I am so happy with what He did for me yesterday I still have another relationship that is just as fractured....a Very important one...Even more so than the one was with my friend....I honestly don't know how to repair that one or even if it can be...But yesterday made me remember what a Big God he is....

Today I dream for you the faith to believe that God can do something you never thought could be done.....And that He does it in a way that you know it is only by His power that it could be....

Have a blessed day my friends.....

Marie Osmond, McDonald's & My Kids

The other day I had blogged about Spontanaity...Well, last night Dustin tested me with it. Yesterday was a great day for "getting things accomplished" around the house. I got alot of those unfinished jobs crossed off my list (including finally hanging Rob's deer head on his office wall...woo hoo!) and it felt so good. So when Dustin got home I had Oprah on and I told him to come watch with me. She had Marie Osmond on her show talking about loosing her son 8 months ago. He suffered from depression and one day left a note on his bed and jumped from an upper floor of his apartment building. Dustin and I already talk alot but it started even some more conversations which was good.

Well during a break there was a McDonald's commercial advertising the McRib. I was telling him that I hadn't had a McRib since I was a little kid. Dustin quickly said "Mom....come on let's go to McDonald's!!!"...."Dustin, we can't go to McDonald's, I have stuff set out for supper and besides Dad would go crazy if we went to town just for McDonald's!!!"...."PLEEAAASSEEE!!....it will be fun!!!" All I could think of was my spontaneity blog.....sooooo....me and my son were out the door. We live out in the country so it is probably 15 minutes away. We went in - through the drive through and then back home....And I was praying the whole way home that Rob wouldn't be home when we got there.....He doesn't quite understand Dustin and I sometimes.... It was a fun little trip...we laughed ALOT and so I think that it was worth it.

About an hour later Becca got home for the weekend. After supper...(yeah, D and I still had to act hungry at supper...lol.....sometimes I feel like a kid again...lol...) Becca grabbed my hand and pulled me into my room to lay on my bed and talk. She loves my bed. So as we laid there she proceeded to tell me stories of college....oh my goodness....she is HILARIOUS!! I so miss all of her voices and crazy faces. She had me laughing so hard that I kept having coughing attacks...(which as women you might know what that leads to)...Well, since it was already 7:30 and dark Rob informed us that it was time for bed....LOL....He is ADORABLE! I went and got my pj's on and went to lay in Becca's bed to continue our talk. I just Love laying there cuddling with her and listening to her talk. Rubbing her fingers (like Debbie taught me to do with my kids).

She tells me that she likes college overall but still struggles with finding a good friend. She does things with different people but spends alot of time in her room. As a mom it's hard to hear that your child hurts. Dustin goes through the same thing. I told her that I know it probably wouldn't help but really if you ask most people they have a hard time finding a "best" friend.........Both my kids have alot of people that like them and are both well loved and respected by adults. I try to tell her that Rob and I go through the same thing....Life can be hard..Friendships are alot of work and take alot of commitment on both sides....The key is to be strong in yourself and kind and loving to those around you. You can't depend on your joy to come from those around you. Others can add to your Joy but they can't be your Joy...... 

As I laid in my bed I just kept thinking about Marie Osmond. My heart just broke as she shared her story of her son. As she talked about how well loved he was.... How he loved to laugh.... How close they were.....And yet he still chose to take his life........Why?????....I know why......Sadly satan is a master at what he does. How he can so easily convince us that we are unlovable....unworthy......useless......As adults we are more capable of finding our way to truth, maybe battered and bruised....but we atleast have a direction we try to point ourselves to...... but children.....children are much more vulnerable to Satan's lies.....

I pray for my children constantly....That they will know they are loved....That they can see that God has a plan for them. That they will never think that life is so bad that they just want to give up. That they can find JOY and PEACE in this temporary place called Earth.....

Wow this post got intense didn't it???....But that was my day yesterday. A roller coaster of emotions. I cherish the moments with my kids. I know I have to hold them tight while I can because no one knows what tomorrow will bring. So, I am thankful for the post that God gave me about Spontaniety because without that prompting I would have never had my little trip with D and I probably would have just went to bed instead of spending time cuddling with my girl......sigh....

Today I dream for you...........grab the moments.....take advantage of time with someone you love..... to Laugh.....to cry....to just be real......I know that Marie Osmond would agree that if something were to happen it doesn't make it easier but those are moments that you wouldn't trade for the world.....

Have a blessed day my friends....

Ruidoso, New Mexico.....

So my first post in my series of Where In The World......is going to be........ Ruidoso, New Mexico....

I have actually been there several times and LOVE it!!!.... And I know I am not alone!! When you grow up in the middle of a cotton field and can drive for a few hours and be skiing in the Rocky Mountains - Ruidoso quickly can become an image of Heaven.

My favorite memory of going there was with my niece Andrea and my nephew Nathan. We had went skiing at Ski Apache. Andrea had never been skiing before so we spent a little time at the beginning showing her the basics. Finally the time came to take her on the chair lift. So she and I went up one of the shortest lifts, Lower Moonshine, and she got off beautifully. As we headed down I suddenly remembered that we had left out one crucial step....How to STOP....Whoops....As she went flying ahead of me I could see what was about to transpire...so what did I do??? I got my camera out...well duh!!! So I got a nice shot of Andi running into a crowd of people waiting to get onto the chair lift....Arms, Legs, Skis and Poles went flying......Ummm Whoops.....Well, no one was seriously hurt....Just Andi's ego.....Sorry Andi Kay....I take complete responsibility for your fear of skiing now....But I Do Love You!!!

The Ruidoso Downs Race track is home to the richest quarter horse race in the world; The All American Futurity...I have never been but if you are there you must stop by and see the incredible horse sculptures.....Breathtaking....

My personal favorite Restaurant is Casa Blanca....mainly because of their incredible Chili Rellenos -
Yummy!! In fact on my next trip to Texas I am trying to figure out how we can  make a trip the Ruidoso just because I am hungry for Chili Rellenos......Is that wrong???  And I just read that they have an amazing appetizer of fried Green Chili Strips.....it's tempting me even more....

Well now that I have given you all the important details and some silly personal stories I suppose I should give you some history about it. I am still working out the kinks on this whole Where in the USA thing and what I want to do with it but for all you History people....here you go....


History of Ruidoso.....http://www.ruidosohistory.com/

Ruidoso and its tumultuous start...

Captain Henry Stanton was one of the first to arrive to Ruidoso country in January 1855. He had his orders to come up from Fort Fillmore (an outpost near the Las Cruces vicinity) to join forces with Captain R. E. Ewell. Their mission was to carry out an expedition to find the bands of Apaches that stole some 2,500 sheep. Captain Stanton may have been the very first Anglo to come upon the "Noisy River" (translated: Ruidoso)...the Ruidoso River would eventually lend its very name to the village that surrounded it. The Spaniards were supposedly the very first to discover the Ruidoso Valley...followed by the Mescalero Apache with settlements throughout the valley.

Captain Henry Stanton was killed during his mission which led to the establishment of Fort Stanton in 1855. This Fort was integral to settling the Ruidoso Valley by providing protection and enforcing law and order.

The Ruidoso River was also the pull for Paul Dowlin...of whom was a Civil War veteran. He was a member of the New Mexico Volunteers and, during his enlistment, he also worked as a post trader for Fort Stanton (located between Lincoln and Ruidoso). After his run with the NMV, he received a homestead of 160 acres...as did many other veterans of the Civil War. Through a land purchase grant, he acquired another 600 acres. This land encompassed much of where the Ruidoso village resides today. His purpose, to start a planing mill (for wood) by channeling the river's force, from both Carrizo Creek and the "Noisy River"...his efforts were stifled since the water's force fell short to power up for the wood mill. He converted the mill for grinding grain to match the river's energy. In its earliest days, Ruidoso itself became known as "Dowlin's Mill."

Dowlin met his doom, May 5, 1877, by one of his very own former employees. Jerry Dillon shot an unarmed Dowlin for reasons unknown. Dillon left for Texas never to be heard from again.


Well there you go... your History lesson for the day...

So today I dream for you......well, I dream for you great chili rellenos....LOL....isn't it funny that I have the power to say what ever I want and that's what I say...Okay that and a chance to remember a memorable vacation...Maybe it wasn't perfect (but chances are you didn't knock down a dozen people at a ski lift...) But remembering is Fun!!

Have a wonderful day my friends...

Early morning drive....

A Beautiful Wisconsin View

What to make with my apples......hhmmmm

This morning my sweet husband woke me from a sound sleep in my nice warm bed at 5:30 am to remind me that I promised  that I would drive him to a job he was working on that was an hour away.....
"Really???  Are you sure???.....Did I know what time I would have to get up????"

So I drug myself out of bed......more like hobbled.....(I am still recovering from a horrible pain in my right calf muscle....so no one is mistaking my name for Grace lately....) got dressed and we were on our way. Usually long drives are some of mine and Rob's favorite times together. I haven't seen him for days so I was catching him up on everything that he has been missing....some talks that Dustin had with his band director (which of course led to me telling Rob how Mrs. Holt - my HS band director - asked me to try out for Drum Major, which I did make but that meant I didn't get to ever be a Baton Twirler....dang it....) I told him how I have had an idea for an invention that I was sure would make us Millionaires....I have been telling the kids and D thought it was a great idea....Here is the CRAZY part....it had to do with computers and as I told Rob he says....."oh, they already have that...." HUH???? EXCUSE ME.....I mean it doesn't surprise me that it is not a new idea - but HOW did Rob know it existed???? - He can't turn on a computer.....) There were a few more stories and I noticed Rob hadn't said a word since we left the house and so I asked him if I was boring him....He said No... because the last few mornings he actually had to pull over and get out to walk around to stay awake and this morning there was no chance of dozing off with me in the car (then he looked at me and winked...)......hhhmmm....I will take it as Gratefulness.....

We got to the bridge that he was working on and Dave (our employee) was already there working. We said goodbye and I was on my way back home. The job was over towards the River which is always a beautiful drive. As I started home the sun was just coming over the horizon. The colors in the sky were simply amazing.....the purples and pinks and blues.....beautiful!!!

One of the downfalls of living in the hills is not being able to enjoy sunrises and sunsets like we do in West Texas.....There you can get a great view just about from Anywhere you stand!!! But here, the best place I have found is up on the ridge....So as I drove along the ridge the sun got higher and higher and the colors got brighter and brighter....I finally saw the tip of the sun as I started into the valley.

The road I take on the way home is lined with apple orchards for as far as you can see....Throughout the years it has easily become one of my favorite drives...The rolling hills and the straight lines of trees remind me of a photo out of a magazine....

So it made me think that today is going to be a baking day.....Rob brought me a big bag of apples home the other day.....(I think he was hinting....) so I am looking forward to filling my house with the smell of fresh baked apple something or other.....

When I spoke at Grandma's funeral one of my memories was of the year that Rich and Lisa and then Rob and I had at least 5 apple pies in our freezer at all times.....Whoever thought you would get tired of apple pie but let me tell you that you can get mighty close..... But Grandma loved making them, so as long as we kept bringing her bags of apples she would keep making them. We would take them home, freeze them and when you needed a new one - take one out - thaw it in the microwave then bake....Yummy!!.....We couldn't make a trip to town without Grandma calling telling us to bring back the pie pans and more apples so she could make more....Well the guys were happy to accommodate!!.....sigh.....just missin' her........

Well, I better get busy....Becca and a friend are coming home for the weekend and get here tonight!!!!!!!!Yippee!!! Lots going on but I am so excited! She and Dustin are planning on having a Ton of kids over Friday night for a campfire and then just hanging out.....Will be so good to hear my house filled with teenagers again....I miss that......

So....today I dream for you.....hhhhmmm what direction should I go???? How about today I dream for you a moment to remember your favorite dessert when you were a kid......who made it???? Why is it a great memory????........

Mine was a cake that Momma use to make that was a white cake that she put in the fridge.....it had pineapple and an amazing frosting.....funny that I can't even remember much about it except picturing myself thinking that it was Wonderful......Oh I am sure there are MANY others too.....but I will leave you with that...

Have a great day my friends........

admitting my imperfections...

This is a page from my Scrapbook - you can see it says
Pacific Ocean....You will also notice Becca is not in the
pictures....she stayed with Grandma so she could go to
school....I have never heard the end of that either...But - she
went to Germany without us so I think we are even now...

Well I was talking to my cousin Teresa yesterday and decided that it was about time to do this post....

I, Linda - being of full mind (well, somewhat full) and body - realize completely that many times I tend to mutilate the spelling of even the most average words....And I also realize that I am obsessed with punctuation and capitalization..... and many times use it where it was never intended to be!!!! And I am absolutely aware that I tend to fill my posts with incomplete and insane run-on sentences.....But let it be known that...........I LIKE it that way!!!! I tend to write like I think or talk and so sometimes you just get what you get....

When my kids were small I use to send out about 20 letters a week to family and friends. I would update them on what all was going on around our home and funny things that the kids were doing. I would write one letter and make photocopies so everyone would get the same information and I didn't have to keep saying the same thing over and over...(Do you see why I LOVE Facebook and my Blog now....much less postage!!!)....Having a large family has its perks but it takes Alot of work to stay connected.

I have all my letters in a binder and occasionally I will take it out and look through it. That was when we had gotten our first computer and so I was completely infatuated with FONTS....So each week I chose a new one...I would tell my readers that I realized they probably weren't that excited to read the daily happenings of a stay at home mom of two but maybe the idea of a new Font would make them open the envelope.

I think I had probably sent out ten of my letters when one of my sisters mentioned how cute it was that I chose to spell the word "busy" the way I had each week....HUH??? So I looked back at my previous letters and in EVERY letter I had spelled the word BUSY with a Z....Yep, my kids were keeping me BUZY.......And if any of you know Dustin you know that I used that word ALOT! When I asked different people if they had noticed it they all thought I was just being silly....aahhhh...

And it's not only spelling and grammar that I am horrible at...there are other things as well...like MAPS...(Andrea - I am giving only one example, the one between you, me and Gina stays between us....okay?..) Every year I send out about 150 Christmas letters recapping our year.  Well, several years ago we had gotten to spend a week out in Oregon visiting some good friends that we were in the Air Force with and another that Rob grew up with. We went up to Bremerton Washington where my mom lived when she was small and got to go up into the Space Needle. We went to see Mt. St. Helens and saw some of the most breathtaking scenery imaginable. All of this went in the letter but the "funny" part...yeah - real funny....Was the fact that AFTER I sent this letter out someone commented to me that I had written that we did all of this and we spent the day at the ATLANTIC Ocean........WHAT??????????? Why....oh Why don't I get a proofreader before I send this stuff out???? Well for those of you that, like me, were not whiz kids when it came to geography...if we would have visited Mt. St. Helens and the Atlantic Ocean all in one week we would have spent an awful lot of time on a plane seeing as how they are on opposite sides of the United States......So yes, now I do know that we had actually spent the day at the Pacific Ocean.....although it is taking every bit of strength in me not to check that I have that right...I still don't trust myself...Portland - Pacific....yeah I think I have it right....:-/

I am sure I knew it at the time that we were on our trip but sometimes I don't know what happens inside my head. I can remember some of the most useless, unimportant information from 30 years ago but I still don't remember how much my children weighed or what time they were born..(I often comment that if I were to ever get a tattoo that would be what I would get put on so I would always have it with me..LOL)..and I only had Dustin's date of birth wrong for a few months until his Grandma called on his 3rd birthday to tell him Happy Birthday and I told her she was a day early...she said....)Nooo - it was today...well, I didn't believe her and had convinced my husband that she was wrong (I am  great in a debate..) and then we finally went and looked at his birth certificate and realized I had just won the Mom, Looser of the Year Award....aahhhh - how do I do this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME???.....And of course...Dustin has NEVER let me forget that one....

I use to really worry about what other people thought of me when I messed up or when I didn't have things "perfect". I was one of those people that cleaned like crazy before people were coming over because I worried that they would think that since I was a stay at home mom I should have plenty of time to have everything in order.....LOL!! I look back on all the pressure I put on myself and I feel sorry for that poor girl living that way. I know that it has made me have a heart for moms of young children though and I know how difficult it is physically and emotionally just to get by day to day.

Finally I have gotten to a point where I realize it is better just to put yourself out there. The more I admit my shortcomings the more people comment on how they can relate. When I let you know that I know that my grammar is horrendous I think it takes the pressure off of both of us and just allows you to enjoy the content... or it makes you realize that I'm not going to change so you might want to take me off your blog list if it bothers you alot...lol.....Because I do realize that some of you are in the same boat as my poor spell check...it goes insane when it's time to check my post...I truly have to talk it down sometimes....lol....

So there you have it - more of getting to know the real me...English and Geography were not my strongest subjects in school and if you haven't realized it yet....I AM NOT PERFECT....You can barely get into my storage room right now and one of the lights is burnt out so I should really put Caution Tape on the door....My deck is STILL not done being stained and it is November....My checkbook is not reconciled....I bite my nails.......If there is anything else that you want me to share I really don't mind....There is a true freedom from being Real about where you are in life. I think writing my blog has given me a strength I didn't know that I had and it has allowed me to get past all the superficial layers that we sometimes put up so that I can go deeper and find out who I really am....

Today I dream for you the chance to admit your shortcomings....put it out there...now you might want to start small so you don't overwhelm the people around you....your facebook friends might not know what to say when you post that you have overdrawn you checking account for the 8th time this month or something like that....But if you begin to be honest with those around you about your struggles and imperfections that it takes the pressure off of yourself so you can actually live and most often you will see that you are definitely not alone....

Have a wonderful day my friends.....

whats' in your toolbox....



It was Windy outside today so I didn't want to go
to the shop to take pictures.....So I used 2 of Becca's.
Thanks Boo!!!!!

 This morning while I was doing my Bible Study one of the sections was on being thankful. It asked us to write down different ways that we are thankful to God...If I had the opportunity I could sit throughout the day and into the night and never be able to write down all that I am thankful for. 

After I wrote for awhile I just sat back and thought about my life. I am not only thankful for the things like a warm home, food to eat, a healthy and loving family...but I started listing things that I never thought I could think of as positive in my life. I know without the struggles and difficult times in my life I wouldn't have the tools in my life that I need today.

In our line of work Rob has ALOT of tools. I can't tell you how much of my life has been spent in the shop while he works on a machine. My main job is fetching the tools he needs....(yeah, I said fetching...lol.) I will be the first to admit that even after all these years no matter how hard Rob has tried to teach me I am no good at knowing my wrenches. Oh sure I can do the 1/2" and the 3/4" stuff okay but you start throwing in all those other numbers and I start to hyperventilate.

Rob has had many of his wrenches for probably 20 years, so alot of them are worn and you can't see the numbers. Well, when Rob has himself in the bowels of a machine and hollers for a 9/16" and I bring him a 3/8" lets just say he's not happy.The fact of the matter is that Rob needs the right tools to fix specific problems. And without the right tools it can either take much longer to get things done or it is just impossible all together.

That is the way it is with my life. I look back and 20 years ago it would have been impossible for me to do some of the things that I do now. Today I love to speak in front of people. How in the WORLD did that happen? I can remember standing at the podium in Mrs. Satterwhite's class reading a poem and trying not to pass out. What got me to the point that one of my greatest goals is to speak in front of thousands of people? It didn't happen all at once. I started doing things like teaching Creative Memories classes and then speaking at the Mother Daughter Banquet at church.  In the last 20 years I have had many opportunities of speaking in front of audience. Just a few weeks ago I even got to do the opening and closing at the Hospital Foundation brunch in front of about 200 people and LOVED it!! But.... if I didn't have those smaller things throughout my life - not always being real excited about it- I wouldn't have the confidence to be where I am today.

As I thought through this I realized that tools serve such a HUGE purpose in our lives. Tools are used to  fix or to improve. If everything is going wonderful you have no need for them. It's when you get into trouble or see the need to make something better that you reach for a tool. I think that I am safe to say that Rob doesn't spend alot of time thinking about his shop full of tools. But when the need arises I know he is beyond grateful they are there and that he knows how to use them.

I picture Rob's big tool box - each drawer filled with items that make things easier for him. He has the tools that he Needs....There is a reason he has the items he has in that box. He has encountered problems before that required him to obtain just what he needed to get the job done. And now they are his.......So when something happens it's not that he still isn't having to fix something but .....when he has the right tools it just makes things go smoother and he can get done quicker.

So now I  picture the tool box that God has given me. I didn't "ask" to have the problems arise in my life that I have had. It wasn't enjoyable working through the stuff that I have had to deal with. It wasn't easy to push myself to do better. But through all the struggles I have been through He has been giving me the tools that I need. Not only to "fix" those problems but so later in life when I encounter something similar I have a better idea which drawer to go to for the correct tool.

Today I dream for a few moments to sit and thank God for your struggles and the tools he has given you to overcome them.. Take a good look at your tool box - go through each drawer and remember that even though you didn't Want to have to own those tools they have served you along the way.......

Have a beautiful day my friend.....

the wind......

Yes I do realize that this photo does not capture the power of the winds
that are upon us....But what am I suppose to do? If nothing
else you can see some of the trees that I worry will
fall on my house......LOL!!

Today the wind is horrendous....50-60 mph winds...The skies are dark and we keep having rain on and off. Not my favorite kind of weather... at all. I don't consider myself a worrier in most cases but when it comes to weather I make up for it. A while back I blogged about my fear of tornadoes. Growing up in West Texas tornadoes are just part of daily life. So when we moved to Wisconsin I was so happy that I would finally be able to sleep soundly during the months of March through July.....aahhh... Well for the most part we really don't have to deal with them.... except for a few here and there... some of which have been devastating... nothing like when I was in Texas. But I don't think it matters where I am when the wind kicks up my heart always starts to beat a little faster and I get a little jittery.

I now live in the woods so of course the thought goes through my mind of a tree falling on my house in a wind storm...wouldn't it occur to everyone???? What if one hits our room while we are sleeping? What if Rob is pinned and I can't get him out? What if both of us are killed and Dustin is left all alone? Will Becca have to quit school and come home to be with Dustin and give up her dream of being a photographer? Do they know where all of the important papers are if something happens to us? I knew I should have finished my bookwork because now the accountant is going to have to look through my stuff and see what a mess I have and she is really going to be confused....If the house is damaged then where will the kids live while it is getting fixed? Will they want to live in the house where their parents died??? If not how the heck are they going to sell this house with this driveway - I knew we should have blacktopped it!!!

Well you get the idea. Me and bad weather do not go well together. They say to expect the high winds for the next 48 hours....oh boy! My plan for the day is to stay in the basement doing bookwork and ironing...(just in case...lol...) I am trying to find positives in all of this......like hopefully I will burn a few more calories with my elevated heart rate over the next few days...... and now I don't have to take care of those piles of leaves in the yard seeing as how they are now in Yuba!!! Oh and my favorite positive in it....we may have 50-60mph winds but there is NO sand with it, so if I have to go outside it won't feel like my face is being rubbed raw by sandpaper and I won't have to pick grit out of my teeth when I come back inside....(oh....West Texas Sand Storms....)

This had to be a short post today....I know you are probably shocked....but my Internet keeps going on and off so I thought I just needed to get something out so this is what you get...

I tell you what though - trying to figure out a photo to go with the wind is pretty tough.

And one other tidbit of info....I checked Becca's facebook this morning and she said that they are under a tornado watch in Milwaukee.....Oh boy!! That sets off a WHOLE new set of stories in my vivid imagination....

Today I dream for you....beautiful weather!! Sunny skies and warm temperatures....aahhhhh - heavenly....

Have a wonderful day my friend....

a timeline of my life as a reader

When I was a child my favorite time of school was Library time. There was something peaceful and yet exciting about walking through  those doors.....One of my favorite memories of books that I read when I was younger was a collection of  Biographies about famous Americans. I always remember referring to them as the "orange" books. During our fourth grade year I am sure that me, Suzy and Darrell read every single one of them.  What I would give just to hold one of them again....sigh....


I also distinctly remember book reports and SRA's. SRA's always freaked me out!!!! After we were finished with our work we would go into the back of  Mrs. Arp's room and pick a card out of a large box. We would read our card and then do the multiple choice questions. Whenever we finished a color we were able to move ahead to the next and they got harder as they went. That was probably the first time I realized I wasn't quite as fast of a reader as the rest of my classmates. We had markers with our names on them to show where we left off. I remember staring at the box seeing my name so far behind everyone elses...oh, how I wanted to be done with Lime Green.... I tried and tried to read faster but no matter how much I wanted it I could never catch up with my friends.


But it's funny, even though I could never read "as fast" as everyone else I believe that their love for reading encouraged mine. My friends would talk about books that they were enjoying and I really wanted to read them too so I pushed through where I might have given up on reading all together if it were just left to me. So although at the time it may have seemed frustrating witnessing them read book after book so quickly it kept me going.....They were my "Carrot"....LOL...


Next was the stage of teen "love stories".... During that time it was me, Elva and Irene. We would read and share books and talk about characters while sitting in Coach Tonn's Science class. Sometimes I wonder what our mom's were thinking letting us read some of that stuff...

Suzy and I were together again during my next phase....Yep, Stephen King....I know good and well that left on my own I would have NEVER even looked at the cover of a Stephen King novel if it weren't for Suzy. But one by one I began laying in bed at night reading my books in a nervous sweat. I am a self proclaimed  "Fraidy Cat". Even now I have no interest in any kind of shows that are suspenseful or graphic or gory.....Nope, none at all, so don't even try to convince me otherwise!!!..I have never watched an episode of CSI or any of those kinds of shows and I really have 0 bit of interest in doing so. (okay except House...but it was a bonding thing with my kids....) Maybe it's because I still have visions of Pet Cemetery ingrained in my brain.....or I can vividly picture the people inside the grocery store in The Mist...aaarrgghhh.....great....now I will probably have nightmares tonight....dang it.......

Then I would assume that pretty much any girl living in the 80's knew the names Chris and Cathy Dollanganger....The characters in the V.C. Andrew book Flowers in the Attic. I love remembering that book until I think about how twisted the plot was and then I get a little nauseous. I think that is when I realized what a vivid imagination I have. I can still recall the pink color of the twins mom's sweatsuit as she came to the attic to check on the children one evening...my memory is insane sometimes. But I also think that my fond memories of the V.C. Andrews era is because that was the first "series" of books that I ever completed. There were 5 books and we would all go crazy until the next one would come out...

After that I took a break from reading for fun for several years. My next phase was probably parenting books. What To Expect When Your Expecting and all that kind of stuff. And then followed by Dr. Seuss and Brown Bear, Brown Bear....(which is still my favorite!!)

Then I got totally enthralled in the whole Left Behind Phenomenon. That was the series that reignited my whole Love for reading again. After that I began reading everything I could get my hands on. Some of my favorites were The Purpose Driven Life, Experiencing God, God Chasers, anything by Max Lucado and all of Francine Rivers books. During that time is when I finally even read the entire Bible....Something that I had always wanted to do and would love to do again. It felt so good and powerful to expand my mind through books again....

Since that time I don't think there has ever been a time without multiple books on my bedside table. I always have atleast one self help book going along with a fiction book and then usually something on organization of some kind...I can't imagine my life without books...

On Friday I went to my very first Book Club. There was a group of 14 women including myself. We read the  the HELP by Kathryn Stockett. It is set in the early 1960's in Mississippi. It is the stories of different colored women who worked in the homes of white families. It was a wonderful book. We each read it on our own and met on Friday to discuss it. Everyone brought a Southern Dish that was mentioned in the book. We had deviled eggs, fried chicken, black eyed peas, okra, caramel cake and of course if you read the book you realize we had to have Chocolate Pie !!! After supper we gathered in the living room for discussion. It was wonderful!! Having conversations with all of these women that come from all different backgrounds was so enlightening. I had the most wonderful evening! At one point I couldn't help but smile to myself. I looked around and realized that out of all of these women not one of them were from my church. They are all Christian women but are from all different churches in our community. The reason I think it was strange is that very rarely do I do things that don't include someone from my church. I was just proud of myself that my circle of friends is widening....I am loving this stage of my life!!

Now that I just finished The Help....(like Friday afternoon at Noodles in Company during my lunch...lol...I felt like I was cramming for a final - I have resolved myself  to the fact that I will NEVER be a fast runner or reader...oh well) I haven't started a new fiction book yet. We haven't decided on a new book for Book Club so I am on my own but I have about a dozen ideas in my head. I have never had difficulty in finding a book. To this day I have the same feeling that I had when I was a child walking through the library doors. Of course now it is Barnes and Nobles but it is the same feeling. I walk in, take a deep breath and my heart starts to beat a little faster. I walk through each and every isle my eyes scanning the titles and touching the covers of the books that catch my eye.....I could sit in one of their comfy chairs with a caramel frappachino and a book for hours (and I have - many times...and I am sure there are many more to come.....lol..)

Today I dream for you...time to read.....time to sit in a comfy chair with a glass of your favorite beverage by your side and be taken away by words on a page...

Have a fabulous day my friends.....

I've lost my marbles

Colorful Marbles, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

Sometimes I think my husband is sure that I have lost my marbles....LOL

The other night we were at our JMP meeting discussing what we would like to do on our vacation days after working at the orphanage. I quickly piped up and said that I wanted to go parasailing...I have always wanted to do that, to be high above the water and looking down at the beautiful landscape (especially of Jamaica). Doc commented that you know they have spots for 2 people and so I looked at Rob and smiled....He's not quite as "adventurism" as me. Rob is the practical, down to earth....let's just say he's the brains of this couple....LOL!!

He has always been an amazing supporter of the crazy things that I have done throughout our life together....all the little businesses that I started....but never stuck to.....let's see if I can remember them....there was selling Mary Kay (but I hated selling anything because I really just like how organized all the products looked on my shelf). There was the shirt painting...the craft booths...the card making....and the one the lasted the longest....scrapbooking. I taught Creative Memories for several years and I have to say a lot of good did come out of that one...There are probably plenty of other ones that I have blocked out of my memory.

Rob was also very supportive when I began running. During the races he would bring the kids and they would come to different spots along the route to cheer me on. And when I returned to school he was very understanding when it was Semester Final time and they lived off of cereal.....LOL!! He highly agreed that I needed to go help with Hurricane Katrina and now he is supporting me in my writing. Rob has always been my biggest fan in everything I do.

There is one thing that he wasn't supportive of...  In fact he was down right upset with me. Which is the main reason that I didn't tell him until I had already done it :-/ Summer before last I took my daughter and our exchange daughter to Wisconsin Dells to cross something off of my "bucket list". I went Bungee Jumping!! ...Yep...Crazy! It was about 130' and the only good thing about it was the nice view from up top. I was just looking at some videos of people jumping at the Dells and they were like 2 min long....My video was like 7 min....LOL...I kept thinking I was ready and then.......uummm, wait....Finally what made me do it is that I knew that if I just went back down that it would still be on "my list”. There would be a day that I was going to have to try again…Dang nab it!!! So it was easier just to get it over with so I could cross it off my list...I know...I know....

The worst part, obviously, was telling your brain that it was okay for your body to fall over the side of the ledge into midair. My brain and my legs were not agreeing at all. But of course after the initial drop it was sort of fun....Fun enough that I would ever do it again???.........uuummmmmm .....NO!!!!

When I called and told Rob what I had done he was MAAAAD!! Rob never gets Mad at me...I mean yeah if I don't turn the lights off when I walk out of the room he gets irritated. But he never gets MAD but this time I knew what was coming...."Linda, What were you thinking????" ooohhh and he never calls me Linda....I knew I was in deep trouble….I don't think "Peeps" would have had the same effect....LOL!!! What it came down to, and I knew it, is that he was scared that something would happen to me.....everyone together.........aaaaaawwww, how sweeet.......

It's funny that when we met Rob was the guy in the racecar and I was in a Ford Escort. Maybe that's why I was attracted to him I thought he was adventursm (sure it had nothing to do with he was just plain Gorgeous) but the reality is that he probably bought that car because it was in good shape and at a good price....(Just kidding Rob – you know I Love You )..!!

But the two of us do balance each other out. Without Rob who knows what a mess my life would be. I need someone to tone me down sometimes....Sometimes dreams just need to be that...dreams...And Rob knows that without me he would not have had the adventures and travel that he has had. We talk about all of this often and how blessed we are to have found each other.

So back to the parasailing adventure....well that has yet to be determined....I am giddy excited about it....Rob not so much....He hasn't said no. He just gives me this look with a little grin like...You really aren't going to make me do this are you?....And he knows full well that just about every adventure that I have talked him into he was grateful for afterwards....with exception of the Roller Coasters....I don't think that will ever happen again….:-)

Today I dream for you....an adverture!!!!....Make someone think that you have Lost Your Marbles....LOL!! Life is to short and there is so much to do......If you need ideas let me know – I will share some of mine with you!!

Have a wonderful day friend….

a professional photographer

Kitchen, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

This morning I am so excited. Last night I received an email from one of my favorite website/blogs....InCourage. They had recently asked me to be a guest writer on their site. But first I had to send a sample story to them to be approved. They did approve it and I will get to be on their site in the near future. I will keep you updated. And thank you all for your support with my blog. You all "encourage" me daily!! I am truly blessed!!

For the next week or so my camera is at the Dr. so I have to be creative with my posts. So I was going through my Flickr photos and I ran across this one. I thought it was a good time to share one of my other adventures that sort of relates to my whole InCourage excitement.

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My niece Amy is married to a Wonderful Wonderful man. Besides being a loving husband and father he is an Incredible builder. He started in the home building field about 10 years ago and in that short time has made remarkable strides.

Not long ago he flew me to Texas on 2 different occasionsto do some photo shoots at several of the homes that he had built. He was starting up his website and I was beyond excited that he thought my photography was worthy.

As the photographer you get to see every nook and cranny of the house. I probably looked at the details of the construction closer than the inspector did. And through each and every home that I photographed the quality was astounding! I was continuously in awe of the attention to detail in his work.

I can't tell you how many thousands of photos that I shot during the 2 shoots that I was there....(thank the Lord for digital photography) but I never got bored. Chuck seemed very happy with my photography but he knows as well as I do that my preference would be to photograph the plumbing fixtures to the exterior of the house.....LOL!! I LOVE up close photography. But this whole experience has stretched me and I have been so grateful.

A bonus of the photo shoot time was the time that I was able to spend with Chuck. Over the years I have gotten to "know" him..(he, Amy and I share some pretty funny memories). But the time on the road from Dallas to Lubbock and to and from other home sites we had alot of visiting time. It is so fun to listen to his energy and love for what he does. How he understands that the houses that he is building are not just projects but people's homes. He is a unique young man and I am so proud that he is part of our family.

On the opening page of the website there is a photo of a home with a rainbow that extends over the entire house. That rainbow was was not superimposed - it was really there. That was the most incredible day. I thought that the shoot was going to be a bust because it rained the whole way there. As I walked through the home to get a feel for things I could hear the rain beating on the roof. And then as I stood in one of the bedrooms all of the sudden the sun began to shine through the windows.....Bright sunshine! It was Perfect photography lighting. And so I began to start snapping photos like a mad woman desperately afraid that the sun would at any moment slide behind a dark cloud not to be seen again. At one point I stepped outside to do the outside photos overlooking the beautiful lake. As I looked up there was a complete rainbow...end to end!! I ran in and got some rainboots on and trecked through the mud while keeping an eye out for rattle snacks...(yuck) But I had to find the perfect shot. And if you look on the site you will see the breathtaking scene that I got to enjoy that day...although I was able to get this great shot I had some wonderful alone time with God and his creation as well....*(now just so you know when you look at the photo the web designer put the sunburst in and not me...just a little fyi...LOL).

If you would like to see my photography for this project here is the link to the website....be prepared to be blown away by these homes. These are definately not typical homes. The rest of my photos are on each tab and then under Gallery. Enjoy!!
http://www.dawsoncustomhomes.net/index.html
I am very grateful that Chuck gave me this opportunity. Not just to photograph these amazing homes but the whole experience.It was definately one I will never forget...

I hope that you will take a minute to check out the Dawson Custom Homes website...And if you are in need of a Home Builder in the Texas or Oaklahoma areas then Chuck is your man....

Today I dream for you a chance to be challenged in the area of something you enjoy. It's good to be stretched and not just be content where you are.

Well...have a wonderful day my friends....

sharing my blog....

This one is still one of my favorite photos.
It was on the day that Becca got home from Germany.
That was when I knew that she would never be
content to live an average life.....

As many of you know part of the goal for writing my blog is to capture my day to day life and share it with my kids someday. I have long given up asking..."have you read my blog today??" Only to get the same answer..."Mooommm, I'm busy...". So my plan is to periodically put my blog into book form to share with them at some point when they will appreciate it more. So many times in my life I wish that I would have known about my parents lives when they were younger...How did they handle parenting, marriage, conflict?....What were they passionate about?... What were their day to day lives like?.....

Your all aware that I end most of my blogs with..."Today I dream for you"...I say that I write that for myself as well as you as a reader but also it is for my children.... If there is a day that I can't be there beside them with encouragement and advice I pray that they can read my words and learn and grow from the struggles and joys that I have lived. So as I write out these words I am challenged to live a better life...to live more adventursm...to let go of things...and to dream bigger...because that is the life I want them both to know that I tried my best  to live and it is possible for them as well...I try to be as real with my struggles because I want them to see that we all go through different seasons in our life. And hopefully that will encourage them throughout their own journey.

I write this for both my children but realizing that it will most likely be most beneficial for Becca. Not that Dustin won't be interested. Actually he has been the most supportive of my blog all along. But there is a different bond between a mother and daughter....or so there should be...or should I say there is for us....(But just last night D asked me if I have blogged about him yet..lol... I will write soon about my relationship with him  and share with you the things that make him the amazing son he is....) But this today is directed more towards Becca. I feel like I need to write so much of this stuff down for her...Her life is busy and full....I am so use to her being here and now that she is gone to college we are missing so much of each others lives...

I know there are parents that comment that their children are their "best friends" and I often somewhat cringe when I hear that... Being a best friend with your child puts an awful lot of pressure on them. I want Becca to have the freedom to have her own friends and adventures that don't include me.....I always say that if you do the hard work when your kids are younger then the older they get you truly get to enjoy them....that is where Becca and I are....And Dustin and I are getting very very close (still going through some work with him...lol...) I Adore her, I love EVERYTHING about her...but she is not my best friend. I don't ever want her to feel like she has to take care of me...that my joy and peace is dependent on her. I want her to have the freedom to have her own friends and that I will be okay..

Although I say she isn't my best friend we are very good friends. We are very close! And she has lived in this house so she knows alot about my life. She knows that I have had  rough times but I hope that I have taught her that it is possible to make it through with His guidance. Today's message at church was about God teaching us through struggles. That nowhere in the Bible does it state that God does not give us more than we can handle. It is through cicumstances that we can not handle that finally make us turn to Him. We have all 4 shared alot of stuff that we didn't know what God was trying to teach us. I want to be able to say that the things that I...(we) have gone through have grown me and our whole family.
So since there have been numberous times that Becca has held me while I cried about different things in my life...(She is just as protective of me as I am for her)..I wanted to give her a glimpse into my life at this moment while she is off creating her very own ....

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To Becca:

Although when you left for Milwaukee we were in the middle of some hard stuff as a family things are definately on an upswing. I am beyond proud of the life that you are creating for yourself. For your amazing strength and determination to follow your passsion. But most of all that you have Passion and Dreams in your live. I LOVE THAT! Dad and I are loving our life here with Dustin, just the 3 of us. You have been a wonderful big sister to him and an excellent example of a life to aspire to. Every day gets better and better and I am forever thankful for the time you spend with him. Dad misses you so very very much. He has the picture of the 2 of you hugging at graduation beside the bathroom sink and I know he stares at it often. If he ever learns to text it will only because he wants to talk to you more and no other reason...LOL!! And then there's me....I am happy....happier than I have been in a long long time....You know through many tears my prayer has been for a good friend for a long time now.....although things have been hard, this time has allowed Dad and I to begin to be each others Best Friends...the way it should be...the way it always should have been. But you know that I have missed having "friends". I just want to let you know that God is very faithful...I will first start by saying how wonderful our weekend in Milwaukee was at Women of Faith. Me, you and Shari!!! It couldn't have been more of what we all 3 needed. I loved you laying in my lap as they sang and getting to rub your back and play with your hair. And I don't know what my life would be without Shari right now...you know as well as anyone that she and Jamie helped us all through some of the hardest times we have had...all 4 of us....they are such a blessing to our whole family. And then of course there are Bryan, Nichole and Ainsley. They have become such a stable part of our lives and we couldn't be happier. Last night was our weekly Hot Tub hang out night and I got to feed Ainsley while she sat in her high chair. It feels so good to be an Aunt again to a little one....sigh...And then there are all my book club friends, my church friends, my Jamaican Mission friends and so many others (and of course my amazing Texas family!!)....Right now my life is overflowing and I am beyond thankful.

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I know I say I write this for Becca and for Dustin as well...but I also write this for me. It feels good to write down in words where God has brought me....And to be so very thankful! Who is to say what the future will hold. What next year will be like. I am trying not to worry or even try to look to far ahead and just live in the moment. I tell Rob that I want to enjoy all the people around me now because if God's plan for our future is to place us in a different country working in an orphanage where I don't speak the language I want to be able to know that I didn't waste a moment of this life here and now...You just never know do you?.... But what I do know is that at this very moment as I sit here my heart is Full.....And I thank Him so much for that....

Well today I dream for you a Full Heart....Maybe you are where I am and you are so thankful for where He has you today...But maybe you are going through one of those times where you know that He is giving you more than you can Handle...Life is too hard and you don't know how much more that you can take...Here is a link to the series we are doing entitled Fearless - the one I am speaking of is Fear of Overwhelming Challenges...Excellent message!! http://www.hiddenv.com/resources/393  I want to encourage you to draw closer to Him during this time....Have a wonderful day my friends.........