Monday, August 23, 2010

a week of "lasts".....




Becca leaves for college on Saturday and that means we are in the midst of "lasts"....so for this week I dream of slowing down time...

This weekend we went to Minnesota for a quick getaway. All four of us love to travel and so many of our best memories have been made while on vacation. So we knew that we just had to get one more in before everything changed. As we sat at supper we talked about how this week will be the last with our lives like this...From now on it will be Becca's life and Our lives...Getting together from here forward will mean coordinating schedules and deciding where to meet. Phone calls will mean filling us in on new names, places and experiences that we aren't apart of. We all set there truly understanding from this moment on things will never be "the same".

That evening instead of going to a movie we decided to go back to our room and rent a movie and sit in our pajamas. That meant we could let Rob and Dustin laugh as loud as they wanted without Becca telling them that they had to calm down because they were embarrassing her..(which is the way things usually go in a theatre.) Most of the time I just sat and watched them all interact with each other. When it was finally time to get some sleep I snapped a picture of the 2 of them in their bed - fully teenagers now with their IPODs and cellphones within reach. But that scene of the 2 of them together takes me back to hundreds of times I watched them cuddled together just like that. In fact just a few days ago I went to wake Becca up only to find her sound asleep beside Dustin on his bedroom floor. Through the years they have slept in forts and tents or in our bed in the midst of a storm. I have one photo of the 2 of them sound asleep on the couch. They both insisted they weren't tired and so I told them they could just sit there until they were. It wasn't long before they were both fast asleep. These 2 have always been close. They even shared the experience of sleeping under the stars in a jungle in Costa Rica...memories...

The rest of the trip was filled with last minute school supply shopping and getting dorm stuff at IKEA. The car ride had the usual silly stuff. Dustin trying to play "I am an animal..." and Becca telling him to STOOOP!!! But she did give in when dad decided they should give each other cartoon character names. Rob was Paul Bunyan and Becca was Pocahontas. It was just nice to see everyone relaxed.

We got back home in time for a birthday party for one of Rob's cousins. It was nice but once again brought me back to the reality of more "lasts". I had tears in my eyes when I watched her hug our friend Pam and listened to the sweet words of advice that she gave her. I knew this wasn't just hard for us but for so many others. So many others have been impacted by her as well. She gave hugs to Julie (Jewelry) who had used her as a guinea pig when Becca was in preschool to help with a class she was taking in college. And then yesterday's cookout hugging Aunts and Uncles. And watching Becca's face, full of concern, as she kisses on Great Grandma and fully aware of the reality that more of these moments with her are uncertain.

But now it is Monday morning and she has a busy week ahead. Lots of packing and finishing up photography orders. And yet in the midst of all her chaos tonight she will go to Madison to visit with a friend that has just started school herself. She is already homesick and Becca is worried about her. So, she is dropping everything to go and encourage her and do her best to make sure that she has a good experience.

These are the things that makes Becca so unbelievably special. The reason that we will miss her piece of the puzzle in this home and in this city. There will definitely be a void as she leaves. I know, I know...everyone tries to give me the positive spin...I know all of that - I have repeated it over and over. But the fact is my baby girl is leaving my home and I am sad...I will miss her lying in my bed singing to me and rubbing my hair like she did last night. I will miss how she steps in the middle of an argument and tells us to stop. I will miss how she baby talks with Pup Pup like he's her baby. My whole house is a box full of Becca memories. I know it will be difficult.....but I am thankful that I am so excited for her. I don't think that she could be more prepared to be on her own. I know she will make a wonderful life for herself.


Today I dream for you the ability to capture a memory...there will be a time in your life that you will need it - to give you strength - or hope - or just allow you to remember what you had. Take it from a mom in the midst of change - it goes by like a flash of light...Have a blessed day my friend...

1 comment:

drurybunch said...

Memories come flooding back of Andrea going off to school and then Aaron going to school in Florida and then Brandon leaving for basic training and Iraq. So very bittersweet isn't it?