my Christmas Memories......



 It's funny because I have such a crazy memory and yet I don't remember alot about Christmas when I was growing up.....There are few but not as many as I would think...

I remember being about 6 and Neil would have been 8 and it being Christmas Eve. I remember the lights on the Christmas trees and the presents scattered around it. And then I remember how Momma always let us pick a few presents to open on Christmas Eve....(if she hadn't already given them to before...Momma was no good at surprises...lol..) I don't remember what we got at all I just remember the 3 of us being there....Sort of Random but I have always had that visual in my head....

When we were older (probably teenagers) I remember one night when Momma got home from Christmas shopping. We heard her tell Daddy that she had some bigger things that she had to leave out in the trunk. So after everyone went to bed Neil came in my room and we snuck out my window with a flashlight. When we opened up the trunk we were in Shock! There sat 2 World Globes....Yep.....just what every teenager wants huh?.....LOL...At least we had time to work on our excitement for Christmas morning....

One of my funniest Christmas memories though has got to be my 6th grade year. On Christmas Eve Daddy was on his way home from town and there was a guy hitchhiking...Daddy pulled over to give him a ride. Seems he had no place to go so......of course...Daddy brought him to our house...I remember Momma quickly wrapping up chocolate covered cherries so he would have something to open for Christmas. We had a Huge meal with lots of people on Christmas day. My best friend, Corrie Green and I "waited tables". Each table had a bell they rang for service....LOL...I recall that the Gentleman sat right by Daddy at the head of the table.....Daddy gave him some work for the next few days and all seemed well. But then one afternoon Momma got a phone call....it seems that Daddy had sent him to get supplies in the truck and  he never came back....Daddy called the police and so they sent out a report and Momma went to Lubbock to give Daddy a ride home. Well a few hours later we got a call. It seems they found the truck on the side of the road close to Amarillo.......out of gas......but "our friend" was nowhere to be found......LOL....

My next memory was when I was in 7th Grade...I'm pretty sure that had to be the closest to having all my brothers and sisters in one place. (maybe 8 of the 10??..) That was the year we were remodeling the living room into the kitchen so there was nothing in there...We filled it with "church tables"...I am sure we ate an incredible meal but what I remember most is the GAMES. Our family has always LOVED to play games....Most likely we played Family Feud and Spoons....But I just remember we played a version of Solitaire that had teams....The only word to describe it is CHAOS!!! I was on Jimmy's team and I recall sitting on top of the table to get a better look at the cards.....SO much fun!!!

But one of my most precious memories is actually a glimpse....a moment....I remember it, I know I do but I hold onto it because of a few photos that I'm sure are copies from my sister. I must have been 3 years old maybe. And my sister Carla and her husband Bill took me and Neil to Santa Land......sigh..... Here's how random my memory is....I remember where we parked and then walking down the street. It had actually snowed so as we approached I remember looking around at the trees covered in lights, feeling, what I would describe now as "stepping into Narnia...." It was like a magical place....I remember seeing Mr and Mrs Clause and Gingerbread houses....But right in the center was a large pole.....the North Pole......It was covered in Ice and you could go up to it and touch it....I think that is my most special memory because I have a the photos...not great photos....but I barely have a handful of tangible items from my childhood and these are ones I hold dear....Carla has me dressed in a soft white coat and my hair is almost blonde....I remember those years....years of uncertainty and turmoil....but I remember that night with Bill, Carla and Neil and feeling..... happy.....and loved....... the way a child should feel at Christmas time...

I often wonder what my kids Christmas memories will be.....Becca rolling her eyes when we would decorate the tree and I had to talk about every ornament...setting corn our for the reindeer......our tradition of 3 gifts....serving at the Soup Kitchen in Texas...D helping me put up Christmas lights......I pray their memories are of family and love and I hope that we have made the birth of Jesus the priority....

Today I dream for you.......sweet Christmas memories.....from your childhood and making new ones.....

Have a wonderful day friend....

Did Ya See Da 30 Pointer??

Our Cabin in the Woods....(okay Rich & Lisa own it now but I still call it Ours....)

Cabin, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

Well it has officially begun......When I woke up this morning to Da Yoopers singing The Second Week of Deer Camp, I knew that Deer hunting season is now upon us....


I myself am not a hunter....for many reasons.....


Reason # 1 being - if they would possibly make the season in June when I didn't have to wear 14 layers of clothing to stay warm I might consider it.


Reason # 2 - I can't sit still (the ADD ya know...(the ya know was said in a Canadian accent for effect...lol...) and with that one you can add that I like to talk......uummm yeah.......


Reason # 3 - The last time I held anything resembling a gun I was playing Lazer Tag in my sister Debbie's backyard in the early 90's. And I most likely was killed early on so not alot of experience......


Reason #4 -.......Ummmmm Bambi......Duh!!!!....


Reason # 5 - I have run out of wall space for deer heads in my house....


Reason # 6 - No matter what you do to cook it I can't pretend that venison is beef...it's Not!!!


Even though I am not a hunter my boys are. Every year Rob's cousins come and stay at our cabin in the woods. They live on the Illinois border but luckily they are on the Wisconsin side.....I don't think you could make it through Deer Camp in Wisconsin if you are officially from Illinois - the harassment might be unbearable.


When Larry and his crew get here on Friday night Hunting Season can truly begin.....Rob of course will be getting his license tonight (last minute) at the Boaz Country Store. Then he will head back to take part in the festivities....


I know alot of women have a hard time with this season but I personally Love it....

* I love pulling out of my driveway and knowing that Adam is the one sitting in the tree stand across the field. Then looking up towards the house seeing a glimpse of Rob in his orange and knowing that if I dare honked to say good morning it might send him into convulsions......LOL.....

*I love driving into town seeing all the guys along the way like little orange dots in the woods and then crank up my heat.

*I love that Saturday mornings (opening day of hunting) is the day that the town is filled with Craft Fairs for the women. I spent many years having my own booth and now I started the tradition of going with my friend Nichole just to enjoy.....

*I love nights like last night - Rob and D bustling around the house getting everything together.....talking nonstop.....

*I love the updates throughout the day hearing who has seen what and who the lucky one is that already got one....

*I love hearing the words...."we are headed out for a Drive!!" That means that they all get to work together and I know they have so much fun.....

*I love that D gets to hang out with his cousin Randy - riding 4 wheelers and being boys......

*I love when they come back from the Cabin telling about how stuffed they are from all the amazing food that Teresa sent along.

*I sort of love....driving to Boaz to see the Wall of photos of everyone with their deer....okay - not that one so much....I like getting a Diet Mountain Dew at the Boaz store....


*But most of all I LOVE to see Rob doing something that he enjoys....He does so much for our family and works so hard and very seldom takes time for himself. I know there are times that he thinks that he is just going to "skip it this year...." But I don't want him to....He needs to be one of the guys and tell stupid jokes and share this all with his son.....It sounds crazy and doesn't make sense at all to me but I know he needs it....Just as much as I need to drive to Madison with my computer and a book and sit in a chair at Barnes and Nobles doing the exact same thing I could be doing sitting in my own house (except no one is making a caramal macciato at my house...) He needs "guy time"....


So.....starting this evening I bid him farewell and then go rent some movies. And then I lay in bed at night warming up his ice cold feet while listening to all his stories of the day....(and Hopefully there are stories...it won't be good if there aren't - that's a whole other side of hunting......) And I know it's only for a short time....


So as I started out that this morning I heard the one song but tomorrow will be the Official Day....When I wake up to Phil playing......Did Ya See Da Thirty Pointer....It's like the bell toll.......Silly Silly Life.....


Here are a few videos for you if you are totally bored.....or if you should be working and you don't want to.....


The first one is one my sister Debbie told me about this morning....Bill Engvall talking about taking his wife deer hunting...Sooo funny - but be warned - you will probably end up watching several of his if you start.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zTFd93oAiA


And for those of you who have never had the pleasure of hearing Da Yoopers...I will apologize up front for the total waste of your life but it is just a part of our life "up Nort..."

Here is Thirty Point Buck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Utt_XgcWv8


And The 2nd Week of Deer Camp....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb9yhhflmvY


Well wasn't this special.....LOL.....So today I dream for you........Laughter at stupid stuff.....I say that because I have spent most of my morning listening to Da Yoopers and watching Bill Engvall videos and laughing the whole time....And I just realized I am still borderline grounded from my Internet. They said that I wasn't suppose to be watching videos for 30 days to get my usage down and I now probably ruined it with Da Yoopers.....**shaking head**....Oh Well......

Have a good day my friends......

Marie Osmond, McDonald's & My Kids

The other day I had blogged about Spontanaity...Well, last night Dustin tested me with it. Yesterday was a great day for "getting things accomplished" around the house. I got alot of those unfinished jobs crossed off my list (including finally hanging Rob's deer head on his office wall...woo hoo!) and it felt so good. So when Dustin got home I had Oprah on and I told him to come watch with me. She had Marie Osmond on her show talking about loosing her son 8 months ago. He suffered from depression and one day left a note on his bed and jumped from an upper floor of his apartment building. Dustin and I already talk alot but it started even some more conversations which was good.

Well during a break there was a McDonald's commercial advertising the McRib. I was telling him that I hadn't had a McRib since I was a little kid. Dustin quickly said "Mom....come on let's go to McDonald's!!!"...."Dustin, we can't go to McDonald's, I have stuff set out for supper and besides Dad would go crazy if we went to town just for McDonald's!!!"...."PLEEAAASSEEE!!....it will be fun!!!" All I could think of was my spontaneity blog.....sooooo....me and my son were out the door. We live out in the country so it is probably 15 minutes away. We went in - through the drive through and then back home....And I was praying the whole way home that Rob wouldn't be home when we got there.....He doesn't quite understand Dustin and I sometimes.... It was a fun little trip...we laughed ALOT and so I think that it was worth it.

About an hour later Becca got home for the weekend. After supper...(yeah, D and I still had to act hungry at supper...lol.....sometimes I feel like a kid again...lol...) Becca grabbed my hand and pulled me into my room to lay on my bed and talk. She loves my bed. So as we laid there she proceeded to tell me stories of college....oh my goodness....she is HILARIOUS!! I so miss all of her voices and crazy faces. She had me laughing so hard that I kept having coughing attacks...(which as women you might know what that leads to)...Well, since it was already 7:30 and dark Rob informed us that it was time for bed....LOL....He is ADORABLE! I went and got my pj's on and went to lay in Becca's bed to continue our talk. I just Love laying there cuddling with her and listening to her talk. Rubbing her fingers (like Debbie taught me to do with my kids).

She tells me that she likes college overall but still struggles with finding a good friend. She does things with different people but spends alot of time in her room. As a mom it's hard to hear that your child hurts. Dustin goes through the same thing. I told her that I know it probably wouldn't help but really if you ask most people they have a hard time finding a "best" friend.........Both my kids have alot of people that like them and are both well loved and respected by adults. I try to tell her that Rob and I go through the same thing....Life can be hard..Friendships are alot of work and take alot of commitment on both sides....The key is to be strong in yourself and kind and loving to those around you. You can't depend on your joy to come from those around you. Others can add to your Joy but they can't be your Joy...... 

As I laid in my bed I just kept thinking about Marie Osmond. My heart just broke as she shared her story of her son. As she talked about how well loved he was.... How he loved to laugh.... How close they were.....And yet he still chose to take his life........Why?????....I know why......Sadly satan is a master at what he does. How he can so easily convince us that we are unlovable....unworthy......useless......As adults we are more capable of finding our way to truth, maybe battered and bruised....but we atleast have a direction we try to point ourselves to...... but children.....children are much more vulnerable to Satan's lies.....

I pray for my children constantly....That they will know they are loved....That they can see that God has a plan for them. That they will never think that life is so bad that they just want to give up. That they can find JOY and PEACE in this temporary place called Earth.....

Wow this post got intense didn't it???....But that was my day yesterday. A roller coaster of emotions. I cherish the moments with my kids. I know I have to hold them tight while I can because no one knows what tomorrow will bring. So, I am thankful for the post that God gave me about Spontaniety because without that prompting I would have never had my little trip with D and I probably would have just went to bed instead of spending time cuddling with my girl......sigh....

Today I dream for you...........grab the moments.....take advantage of time with someone you love..... to Laugh.....to cry....to just be real......I know that Marie Osmond would agree that if something were to happen it doesn't make it easier but those are moments that you wouldn't trade for the world.....

Have a blessed day my friends....

Early morning drive....

A Beautiful Wisconsin View

What to make with my apples......hhmmmm

This morning my sweet husband woke me from a sound sleep in my nice warm bed at 5:30 am to remind me that I promised  that I would drive him to a job he was working on that was an hour away.....
"Really???  Are you sure???.....Did I know what time I would have to get up????"

So I drug myself out of bed......more like hobbled.....(I am still recovering from a horrible pain in my right calf muscle....so no one is mistaking my name for Grace lately....) got dressed and we were on our way. Usually long drives are some of mine and Rob's favorite times together. I haven't seen him for days so I was catching him up on everything that he has been missing....some talks that Dustin had with his band director (which of course led to me telling Rob how Mrs. Holt - my HS band director - asked me to try out for Drum Major, which I did make but that meant I didn't get to ever be a Baton Twirler....dang it....) I told him how I have had an idea for an invention that I was sure would make us Millionaires....I have been telling the kids and D thought it was a great idea....Here is the CRAZY part....it had to do with computers and as I told Rob he says....."oh, they already have that...." HUH???? EXCUSE ME.....I mean it doesn't surprise me that it is not a new idea - but HOW did Rob know it existed???? - He can't turn on a computer.....) There were a few more stories and I noticed Rob hadn't said a word since we left the house and so I asked him if I was boring him....He said No... because the last few mornings he actually had to pull over and get out to walk around to stay awake and this morning there was no chance of dozing off with me in the car (then he looked at me and winked...)......hhhmmm....I will take it as Gratefulness.....

We got to the bridge that he was working on and Dave (our employee) was already there working. We said goodbye and I was on my way back home. The job was over towards the River which is always a beautiful drive. As I started home the sun was just coming over the horizon. The colors in the sky were simply amazing.....the purples and pinks and blues.....beautiful!!!

One of the downfalls of living in the hills is not being able to enjoy sunrises and sunsets like we do in West Texas.....There you can get a great view just about from Anywhere you stand!!! But here, the best place I have found is up on the ridge....So as I drove along the ridge the sun got higher and higher and the colors got brighter and brighter....I finally saw the tip of the sun as I started into the valley.

The road I take on the way home is lined with apple orchards for as far as you can see....Throughout the years it has easily become one of my favorite drives...The rolling hills and the straight lines of trees remind me of a photo out of a magazine....

So it made me think that today is going to be a baking day.....Rob brought me a big bag of apples home the other day.....(I think he was hinting....) so I am looking forward to filling my house with the smell of fresh baked apple something or other.....

When I spoke at Grandma's funeral one of my memories was of the year that Rich and Lisa and then Rob and I had at least 5 apple pies in our freezer at all times.....Whoever thought you would get tired of apple pie but let me tell you that you can get mighty close..... But Grandma loved making them, so as long as we kept bringing her bags of apples she would keep making them. We would take them home, freeze them and when you needed a new one - take one out - thaw it in the microwave then bake....Yummy!!.....We couldn't make a trip to town without Grandma calling telling us to bring back the pie pans and more apples so she could make more....Well the guys were happy to accommodate!!.....sigh.....just missin' her........

Well, I better get busy....Becca and a friend are coming home for the weekend and get here tonight!!!!!!!!Yippee!!! Lots going on but I am so excited! She and Dustin are planning on having a Ton of kids over Friday night for a campfire and then just hanging out.....Will be so good to hear my house filled with teenagers again....I miss that......

So....today I dream for you.....hhhhmmm what direction should I go???? How about today I dream for you a moment to remember your favorite dessert when you were a kid......who made it???? Why is it a great memory????........

Mine was a cake that Momma use to make that was a white cake that she put in the fridge.....it had pineapple and an amazing frosting.....funny that I can't even remember much about it except picturing myself thinking that it was Wonderful......Oh I am sure there are MANY others too.....but I will leave you with that...

Have a great day my friends........

the other side of me......

Getting way to close to EMPTY

It always amazes me how quickly I can go from seeing the world through Rose Colored Glasses to wanting to pull the blanket up over my head....Sometimes there doesn't even have to be a reason. I just get that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and I stand in the middle of my house and think of the dozens of things that need to be done or the dozens more that I feel I am doing all wrong....And what is really worse is when it isn't even my time of the month...lol..... I mean sometimes I can talk myself through when I know that might be the case but it's really hard when I know that's not it.

I try to tell myself I have had alot going on lately...but it seems like I Always have Alot going on. Every week I think that next week will be better. But by Monday every day is filled....... okay, just a minute...but if I'm being honest here, not every moment is filled. Just like today...... I worked the 6 am shift at the Polling Station today so that I would have the rest of the day. I get home and I am exhausted....I have bookwork that I don't EVEN want to talk about. Wood that needs brought in from outside. The Locker called and seems a tad bit irritated that my beef is still there since the fair - (still in the process of defrosting freezers). Becca is bringing a friend home from Milwaukee and she and Dustin are supposedly having a HUGE party this weekend when she comes home. There is a Bible Study I would like to start on Wed morning but the thought of one more thing makes me want to cry....(but I REALLY want to go to the Christmas Party!). I just backed out on my Thursday night Bible Study for the same reason. The school musical is on the 12th, 13th and 14th so now D is into rehersals until 10pm. most every night so then so much for getting to bed early. Friday night is our Jamaican Mission Waffle Supper. Saturday I am working at the Presbyterian Church for the UMPTEENTH year making noodles for their Bazaar and Tea after just spending a Saturday making Lefse....It's my mother n laws church and she is probably the youngest there by 20 years....Going to be a LONG morning and then we are back the next Saturday to do it again.....We greet on Sunday morning and then I will come home, curl up in the fetal position on my bed and probably cry myself to sleep so happy for Rest....(ohhhh that won't happen because Becca and her company will be here and I know I will want to make a nice lunch for them before they leave....)......aahhhhhh

So like I said, right now, instead of writing my blog I should be doing the things that NEED to get done but it is one of those days where I just don't have it in me. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ....Debbie would tell me to Eat That Frog....LOL....If I would just do some of those bigger things than I would feel much more at peace....Those things that seem like a Huge Cloud looming over me....those things that I seem to wear like a yoke.

I am great at giving people the pep talk about how and why to do things to improve their lives...I Love to be the motivator and watch peoples outlook on life change. I don't think there is a day that goes by that someone doesn't email me or contact me somehow that I get to encourage  or just be an shoulder for them to lean on..... and I LOVE that!.......So I know all of that stuff but times like today when I'm hearing it pointed at me I just want to tell that voice in my head to SHUT UP!! I am sick of hearing the positive stuff....of what I am suppose to do....of telling myself that if I make a stinkin' list then Everything will be great.....And the Most Disturbing but the one that screams the Loudest.....IF YOU WEREN'T SO FAT then you would be happy............Wow....................(you will have to give me a minute to get myself back together after that one.......)..........whew.....

It's all in there.......it goes through my head......If you have read my blog for any length of time now you can see that there is a WHOLE lot in this head of mine. Sometimes I feel like I am going 100 miles an hour while  sitting still. My mind is constantly racing.......many times overwhelming me to the point of exhaustion. Every waking moment of every day my mind is going in 20 different directions and sometimes I just want....QUIET.....I want to not have memories....or plans....or lists.....or regrets.....I just want it to all go away........

Sooooooooooo......you probably didn't expect this today did you? Or for those of you that know me you were probably wondering when it was finally going to come.....Some of you may wonder if my other posts are just fluff....are they really me or do I spend most of my days in a heap only coming out to write a story that will make me Look good.....To some people I think that is seems like this is just the kind of drama they were hoping to find....It's sad but for some people they are beyond thrilled to see this post....It's like an ...AH HA.... Gotcha....Well if that is what you needed than I hope I made your day.....

But for all the rest of you that I call friends I just felt I needed to be real with you....for you to know that when you call and break down because it feels like the world is falling in around you I understand....When I speak to you it is because I feel your pain and I want better for you.....I want better for us!!!!.... Although I would like to say that I hate being in this place... isn't it funny how sometimes we just want to wallow for awhile.....We just want to give ourselves time to stomp are foot and cry out that the world isn't fair.

And I just have to add that I realize in the scope of things that what I struggle with at times seem so small in the scope of life.....I watch my brother Neil and his wife Allison and how they are Incredible parents to my nephew Noel....He has been confined to a wheel chair for so many years and live daily in the reality of what it means for your son to have Muscular Dystrophy but have taught him to LIVE and I couldn't be more proud of them....(you can read his story and visit his site at http://www.drawnup.net/ ).....those are the reasons I live most of my days thankful and try to live in the moment because I don't know what the next may bring.....

But the fact of the matter is today is a wallowing day for me....but actually yesterday was too....I am quite sure that loosing Grandma has brought out a whole lot of feelings that I am really not excited to feel. I am thankful for what I do have but REALLY ticked at what I don't.....(And once again for those who know me you know exactly what I mean and I Love you for that.....)

Okay Okay Okay.....just like when I'm writing the positive stuff I could go on and on with this side as well.....But, it's not making any of our days much brighter......But I felt that if I am going to be real on my blog then you have to see this side as well because just ask my family it is here as well.....

So after all of this..... do I leave you with an I dream for you????.........hhhmmm.....Well, okay let's see......I dream for you today the chance to be Real....I mean Vulnerable....with someone....Okay you don't have to go as Insane as me and put it out there for the world to read but to be real to someone........even if it's only to yourself and God......maybe just writing out how you honestly feel might help when it seems like there are truly no answers......I don't know....maybe it doesn't work for everyone....For me it's freeing....I know my week is still going to be crazy and I can't say that I still won't cry because of where I'm at right now but for me there has always been power in words....just letting these go have helped greatly.....I have talked to so many of you  that read my blog and you have given me such encouragement. I know the love that you have for me....so as I share this with you I know that you have listened with a caring heart.....

I thank you all my friends for being a listening ear....

Blessings to you....

admitting my imperfections...

This is a page from my Scrapbook - you can see it says
Pacific Ocean....You will also notice Becca is not in the
pictures....she stayed with Grandma so she could go to
school....I have never heard the end of that either...But - she
went to Germany without us so I think we are even now...

Well I was talking to my cousin Teresa yesterday and decided that it was about time to do this post....

I, Linda - being of full mind (well, somewhat full) and body - realize completely that many times I tend to mutilate the spelling of even the most average words....And I also realize that I am obsessed with punctuation and capitalization..... and many times use it where it was never intended to be!!!! And I am absolutely aware that I tend to fill my posts with incomplete and insane run-on sentences.....But let it be known that...........I LIKE it that way!!!! I tend to write like I think or talk and so sometimes you just get what you get....

When my kids were small I use to send out about 20 letters a week to family and friends. I would update them on what all was going on around our home and funny things that the kids were doing. I would write one letter and make photocopies so everyone would get the same information and I didn't have to keep saying the same thing over and over...(Do you see why I LOVE Facebook and my Blog now....much less postage!!!)....Having a large family has its perks but it takes Alot of work to stay connected.

I have all my letters in a binder and occasionally I will take it out and look through it. That was when we had gotten our first computer and so I was completely infatuated with FONTS....So each week I chose a new one...I would tell my readers that I realized they probably weren't that excited to read the daily happenings of a stay at home mom of two but maybe the idea of a new Font would make them open the envelope.

I think I had probably sent out ten of my letters when one of my sisters mentioned how cute it was that I chose to spell the word "busy" the way I had each week....HUH??? So I looked back at my previous letters and in EVERY letter I had spelled the word BUSY with a Z....Yep, my kids were keeping me BUZY.......And if any of you know Dustin you know that I used that word ALOT! When I asked different people if they had noticed it they all thought I was just being silly....aahhhh...

And it's not only spelling and grammar that I am horrible at...there are other things as well...like MAPS...(Andrea - I am giving only one example, the one between you, me and Gina stays between us....okay?..) Every year I send out about 150 Christmas letters recapping our year.  Well, several years ago we had gotten to spend a week out in Oregon visiting some good friends that we were in the Air Force with and another that Rob grew up with. We went up to Bremerton Washington where my mom lived when she was small and got to go up into the Space Needle. We went to see Mt. St. Helens and saw some of the most breathtaking scenery imaginable. All of this went in the letter but the "funny" part...yeah - real funny....Was the fact that AFTER I sent this letter out someone commented to me that I had written that we did all of this and we spent the day at the ATLANTIC Ocean........WHAT??????????? Why....oh Why don't I get a proofreader before I send this stuff out???? Well for those of you that, like me, were not whiz kids when it came to geography...if we would have visited Mt. St. Helens and the Atlantic Ocean all in one week we would have spent an awful lot of time on a plane seeing as how they are on opposite sides of the United States......So yes, now I do know that we had actually spent the day at the Pacific Ocean.....although it is taking every bit of strength in me not to check that I have that right...I still don't trust myself...Portland - Pacific....yeah I think I have it right....:-/

I am sure I knew it at the time that we were on our trip but sometimes I don't know what happens inside my head. I can remember some of the most useless, unimportant information from 30 years ago but I still don't remember how much my children weighed or what time they were born..(I often comment that if I were to ever get a tattoo that would be what I would get put on so I would always have it with me..LOL)..and I only had Dustin's date of birth wrong for a few months until his Grandma called on his 3rd birthday to tell him Happy Birthday and I told her she was a day early...she said....)Nooo - it was today...well, I didn't believe her and had convinced my husband that she was wrong (I am  great in a debate..) and then we finally went and looked at his birth certificate and realized I had just won the Mom, Looser of the Year Award....aahhhh - how do I do this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME???.....And of course...Dustin has NEVER let me forget that one....

I use to really worry about what other people thought of me when I messed up or when I didn't have things "perfect". I was one of those people that cleaned like crazy before people were coming over because I worried that they would think that since I was a stay at home mom I should have plenty of time to have everything in order.....LOL!! I look back on all the pressure I put on myself and I feel sorry for that poor girl living that way. I know that it has made me have a heart for moms of young children though and I know how difficult it is physically and emotionally just to get by day to day.

Finally I have gotten to a point where I realize it is better just to put yourself out there. The more I admit my shortcomings the more people comment on how they can relate. When I let you know that I know that my grammar is horrendous I think it takes the pressure off of both of us and just allows you to enjoy the content... or it makes you realize that I'm not going to change so you might want to take me off your blog list if it bothers you alot...lol.....Because I do realize that some of you are in the same boat as my poor spell check...it goes insane when it's time to check my post...I truly have to talk it down sometimes....lol....

So there you have it - more of getting to know the real me...English and Geography were not my strongest subjects in school and if you haven't realized it yet....I AM NOT PERFECT....You can barely get into my storage room right now and one of the lights is burnt out so I should really put Caution Tape on the door....My deck is STILL not done being stained and it is November....My checkbook is not reconciled....I bite my nails.......If there is anything else that you want me to share I really don't mind....There is a true freedom from being Real about where you are in life. I think writing my blog has given me a strength I didn't know that I had and it has allowed me to get past all the superficial layers that we sometimes put up so that I can go deeper and find out who I really am....

Today I dream for you the chance to admit your shortcomings....put it out there...now you might want to start small so you don't overwhelm the people around you....your facebook friends might not know what to say when you post that you have overdrawn you checking account for the 8th time this month or something like that....But if you begin to be honest with those around you about your struggles and imperfections that it takes the pressure off of yourself so you can actually live and most often you will see that you are definitely not alone....

Have a wonderful day my friends.....

Goodbye Grandma......

We lost Rob's Grandma on October 27, 2010....She was as much a Grandmother to me as I could have ever imagined.....She will be greatly missed.....I will be speaking at the funeral on Sunday...below are the memories that I will share with all of those who were touched by her wonderful Love........

I LOVED seeing Grandma laugh........

Making Christmas Sugar Cookies

One of FAVORITE memories.....Picking Strawberries
and making jam.....I Will Miss Her So Very Much

October 31.......1987.......Rob and I had been dating since March and his parents and brothers had already come to Texas to meet "the new girlfriend". But now Eldon and Lilas Vanbrocklin...also known as Grandma and Grandpa were on their way to McCallen Tx for the Winter and would be stopping in Lubbock. I was a nervous wreck not only because I was meeting his grandparents but making supper. It went beautifully...Grandma raved about my Pork Chops and Rice and has made comments to me even recently about that meal. I often wonder if they were that good or if she was just being kind...We sat around the rest of the evening playing cards and visiting....(I know shocker, huh?)

Grandma and Grandpa would visit again for our wedding the following June and then they were back through again a few months later on their way South. That evening we took them out for supper and then they stayed on our hide a bed in the living room. The plan was that we would get up and have breakfast and they would be off. But when we woke up the next morning they had left a note saying that they couldn't sleep and had already gotten on the road. I remember how sad Rob was that he didn't get to hug them and tell them goodbye.......Fast forward to Feb 11, 1990...The phone rings and Rob answered it..... his dad told him to hand the phone to me....Don instructed me to wrap my arms around Rob and hold him and then give him the phone back. I did as I was told and I could hear the news...Grandpa had passed away......

So for the last 20 years our memories have been filled with Grandma.....and there are many......

*I remember Grandma's Donuts.....and how lucky Kayla always got the Bumblys....
*I remember the boys short sheeting Grandma's bed when we were all up North at Larry's cabin.
*I remember the story that my kids and Grandma always laughed about when they had gotten off the bus at      Grandma's house and she made box mac and cheese and forgot the cheese / the kids said it was the best!
* I remember when Vanessa first learned to use the phone and she called Grandma all the time....even when Scott and Sal didn't know...
*I remember sitting in the living room at the farm and watching Grandma sew Sally's wedding dress
*I remember Jule filling Grandma's house with Anything Lemon.....
*I remember the STEEP stairs in her old house
*I remember how the boys ALWAYS referred to them as Grandma and Grandpa at the farm
*One of my FAVORITE memories....picking strawberries and making jam.....
*I remember how I use to have allergic reactions to Bee stings...so whenever I got stung I would have to drive to her house and sit on her couch so she could watch and see if I Puffed Up....
*No one could ever forget her LOVE for playing cards.....the Hours we all spent playing SOB is priceless
*I remember how she always got irritated with one of the guys in McCallen that said Up North or
Down  South when his score was higher or lower....so of course Rob said it Everytime!!
* I remember the year that we had atleast 5 apple pies in our freezer from Grandma at All times
*I remember her beautiful hair....I often told her that I would stop coloring my hair if only I could have hair like hers.....
*I remember visiting with her and Alene at the Fair when she was Supervisor of the flowers....
*I remember her Love for Reading...and the countless times when I asked her what she was reading it was a book from Janis....or from Sal..... She definetely passed that love to all 3 of her girls...
*I remember her working at Webers Dry Cleaners....
*I remember Alene and Lisa laughing about the fact that every pocket of every item of clothing of Grandma's ALWAYS had a crumpled tissue.....
*I remember when she was in Texas she would never stay on the phone because it cost to much and she wouldn't even say goodbye - she would just hang up....
*I remember Dustin and Allie playing kitchen with Grandma and she would pretend to eat their food....
*I remember everytime we walked into the house Grandma showing us a newspaper clipping of Vanessa and Allison....she was SO proud of them...
*I remember Thanksgivings at her house on the farm with everyone at the Table that stretched into the Living Room and Rob and Scott carving the turkey and Janis sneaking pieces the whole time before we ate...
*I remember mushroom hunting on the hill up behind her house....she knew ALL the Hot Spots....
*And of course I remember "Lilas' Birthday Party" every year.....and how I am so thankful for that time to get to know "the Popanz family"...the time to sit and visit learning about everyone's lives and my children growing up with their cousins....intertwining our families has been so important to me.
*I will NEVER forget the Endless amount of potholders that she knitted for ALL of us every year.....
*And I will never forget the last time I hugged her as she wheeled herself down the hall to watch me get onto the elevator to leave......she told me she was ready.....and I know she was.....
That's what makes this so hard and yet so peaceful....We have had this time with Grandma - to Love on her....for her to Love on all of us.....My sister just asked me if Grandma was worried about dying....I said No - I think she was worried about Living....She was 92 years old....Her mind was as clear as the day we met....and yet her body wasn't as cooperative.....I know she was ready....ready not to have problems with her blood pressure....ready to not be confined to a wheelchair....but most of all ready to see Grandpa....

Thank you Grandma for being the best Grandma we could have asked for.....you will be greatly missed....
 

whats' in your toolbox....



It was Windy outside today so I didn't want to go
to the shop to take pictures.....So I used 2 of Becca's.
Thanks Boo!!!!!

 This morning while I was doing my Bible Study one of the sections was on being thankful. It asked us to write down different ways that we are thankful to God...If I had the opportunity I could sit throughout the day and into the night and never be able to write down all that I am thankful for. 

After I wrote for awhile I just sat back and thought about my life. I am not only thankful for the things like a warm home, food to eat, a healthy and loving family...but I started listing things that I never thought I could think of as positive in my life. I know without the struggles and difficult times in my life I wouldn't have the tools in my life that I need today.

In our line of work Rob has ALOT of tools. I can't tell you how much of my life has been spent in the shop while he works on a machine. My main job is fetching the tools he needs....(yeah, I said fetching...lol.) I will be the first to admit that even after all these years no matter how hard Rob has tried to teach me I am no good at knowing my wrenches. Oh sure I can do the 1/2" and the 3/4" stuff okay but you start throwing in all those other numbers and I start to hyperventilate.

Rob has had many of his wrenches for probably 20 years, so alot of them are worn and you can't see the numbers. Well, when Rob has himself in the bowels of a machine and hollers for a 9/16" and I bring him a 3/8" lets just say he's not happy.The fact of the matter is that Rob needs the right tools to fix specific problems. And without the right tools it can either take much longer to get things done or it is just impossible all together.

That is the way it is with my life. I look back and 20 years ago it would have been impossible for me to do some of the things that I do now. Today I love to speak in front of people. How in the WORLD did that happen? I can remember standing at the podium in Mrs. Satterwhite's class reading a poem and trying not to pass out. What got me to the point that one of my greatest goals is to speak in front of thousands of people? It didn't happen all at once. I started doing things like teaching Creative Memories classes and then speaking at the Mother Daughter Banquet at church.  In the last 20 years I have had many opportunities of speaking in front of audience. Just a few weeks ago I even got to do the opening and closing at the Hospital Foundation brunch in front of about 200 people and LOVED it!! But.... if I didn't have those smaller things throughout my life - not always being real excited about it- I wouldn't have the confidence to be where I am today.

As I thought through this I realized that tools serve such a HUGE purpose in our lives. Tools are used to  fix or to improve. If everything is going wonderful you have no need for them. It's when you get into trouble or see the need to make something better that you reach for a tool. I think that I am safe to say that Rob doesn't spend alot of time thinking about his shop full of tools. But when the need arises I know he is beyond grateful they are there and that he knows how to use them.

I picture Rob's big tool box - each drawer filled with items that make things easier for him. He has the tools that he Needs....There is a reason he has the items he has in that box. He has encountered problems before that required him to obtain just what he needed to get the job done. And now they are his.......So when something happens it's not that he still isn't having to fix something but .....when he has the right tools it just makes things go smoother and he can get done quicker.

So now I  picture the tool box that God has given me. I didn't "ask" to have the problems arise in my life that I have had. It wasn't enjoyable working through the stuff that I have had to deal with. It wasn't easy to push myself to do better. But through all the struggles I have been through He has been giving me the tools that I need. Not only to "fix" those problems but so later in life when I encounter something similar I have a better idea which drawer to go to for the correct tool.

Today I dream for a few moments to sit and thank God for your struggles and the tools he has given you to overcome them.. Take a good look at your tool box - go through each drawer and remember that even though you didn't Want to have to own those tools they have served you along the way.......

Have a beautiful day my friend.....

a professional photographer

Kitchen, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

This morning I am so excited. Last night I received an email from one of my favorite website/blogs....InCourage. They had recently asked me to be a guest writer on their site. But first I had to send a sample story to them to be approved. They did approve it and I will get to be on their site in the near future. I will keep you updated. And thank you all for your support with my blog. You all "encourage" me daily!! I am truly blessed!!

For the next week or so my camera is at the Dr. so I have to be creative with my posts. So I was going through my Flickr photos and I ran across this one. I thought it was a good time to share one of my other adventures that sort of relates to my whole InCourage excitement.

********

My niece Amy is married to a Wonderful Wonderful man. Besides being a loving husband and father he is an Incredible builder. He started in the home building field about 10 years ago and in that short time has made remarkable strides.

Not long ago he flew me to Texas on 2 different occasionsto do some photo shoots at several of the homes that he had built. He was starting up his website and I was beyond excited that he thought my photography was worthy.

As the photographer you get to see every nook and cranny of the house. I probably looked at the details of the construction closer than the inspector did. And through each and every home that I photographed the quality was astounding! I was continuously in awe of the attention to detail in his work.

I can't tell you how many thousands of photos that I shot during the 2 shoots that I was there....(thank the Lord for digital photography) but I never got bored. Chuck seemed very happy with my photography but he knows as well as I do that my preference would be to photograph the plumbing fixtures to the exterior of the house.....LOL!! I LOVE up close photography. But this whole experience has stretched me and I have been so grateful.

A bonus of the photo shoot time was the time that I was able to spend with Chuck. Over the years I have gotten to "know" him..(he, Amy and I share some pretty funny memories). But the time on the road from Dallas to Lubbock and to and from other home sites we had alot of visiting time. It is so fun to listen to his energy and love for what he does. How he understands that the houses that he is building are not just projects but people's homes. He is a unique young man and I am so proud that he is part of our family.

On the opening page of the website there is a photo of a home with a rainbow that extends over the entire house. That rainbow was was not superimposed - it was really there. That was the most incredible day. I thought that the shoot was going to be a bust because it rained the whole way there. As I walked through the home to get a feel for things I could hear the rain beating on the roof. And then as I stood in one of the bedrooms all of the sudden the sun began to shine through the windows.....Bright sunshine! It was Perfect photography lighting. And so I began to start snapping photos like a mad woman desperately afraid that the sun would at any moment slide behind a dark cloud not to be seen again. At one point I stepped outside to do the outside photos overlooking the beautiful lake. As I looked up there was a complete rainbow...end to end!! I ran in and got some rainboots on and trecked through the mud while keeping an eye out for rattle snacks...(yuck) But I had to find the perfect shot. And if you look on the site you will see the breathtaking scene that I got to enjoy that day...although I was able to get this great shot I had some wonderful alone time with God and his creation as well....*(now just so you know when you look at the photo the web designer put the sunburst in and not me...just a little fyi...LOL).

If you would like to see my photography for this project here is the link to the website....be prepared to be blown away by these homes. These are definately not typical homes. The rest of my photos are on each tab and then under Gallery. Enjoy!!
http://www.dawsoncustomhomes.net/index.html
I am very grateful that Chuck gave me this opportunity. Not just to photograph these amazing homes but the whole experience.It was definately one I will never forget...

I hope that you will take a minute to check out the Dawson Custom Homes website...And if you are in need of a Home Builder in the Texas or Oaklahoma areas then Chuck is your man....

Today I dream for you a chance to be challenged in the area of something you enjoy. It's good to be stretched and not just be content where you are.

Well...have a wonderful day my friends....

sharing my blog....

This one is still one of my favorite photos.
It was on the day that Becca got home from Germany.
That was when I knew that she would never be
content to live an average life.....

As many of you know part of the goal for writing my blog is to capture my day to day life and share it with my kids someday. I have long given up asking..."have you read my blog today??" Only to get the same answer..."Mooommm, I'm busy...". So my plan is to periodically put my blog into book form to share with them at some point when they will appreciate it more. So many times in my life I wish that I would have known about my parents lives when they were younger...How did they handle parenting, marriage, conflict?....What were they passionate about?... What were their day to day lives like?.....

Your all aware that I end most of my blogs with..."Today I dream for you"...I say that I write that for myself as well as you as a reader but also it is for my children.... If there is a day that I can't be there beside them with encouragement and advice I pray that they can read my words and learn and grow from the struggles and joys that I have lived. So as I write out these words I am challenged to live a better life...to live more adventursm...to let go of things...and to dream bigger...because that is the life I want them both to know that I tried my best  to live and it is possible for them as well...I try to be as real with my struggles because I want them to see that we all go through different seasons in our life. And hopefully that will encourage them throughout their own journey.

I write this for both my children but realizing that it will most likely be most beneficial for Becca. Not that Dustin won't be interested. Actually he has been the most supportive of my blog all along. But there is a different bond between a mother and daughter....or so there should be...or should I say there is for us....(But just last night D asked me if I have blogged about him yet..lol... I will write soon about my relationship with him  and share with you the things that make him the amazing son he is....) But this today is directed more towards Becca. I feel like I need to write so much of this stuff down for her...Her life is busy and full....I am so use to her being here and now that she is gone to college we are missing so much of each others lives...

I know there are parents that comment that their children are their "best friends" and I often somewhat cringe when I hear that... Being a best friend with your child puts an awful lot of pressure on them. I want Becca to have the freedom to have her own friends and adventures that don't include me.....I always say that if you do the hard work when your kids are younger then the older they get you truly get to enjoy them....that is where Becca and I are....And Dustin and I are getting very very close (still going through some work with him...lol...) I Adore her, I love EVERYTHING about her...but she is not my best friend. I don't ever want her to feel like she has to take care of me...that my joy and peace is dependent on her. I want her to have the freedom to have her own friends and that I will be okay..

Although I say she isn't my best friend we are very good friends. We are very close! And she has lived in this house so she knows alot about my life. She knows that I have had  rough times but I hope that I have taught her that it is possible to make it through with His guidance. Today's message at church was about God teaching us through struggles. That nowhere in the Bible does it state that God does not give us more than we can handle. It is through cicumstances that we can not handle that finally make us turn to Him. We have all 4 shared alot of stuff that we didn't know what God was trying to teach us. I want to be able to say that the things that I...(we) have gone through have grown me and our whole family.
So since there have been numberous times that Becca has held me while I cried about different things in my life...(She is just as protective of me as I am for her)..I wanted to give her a glimpse into my life at this moment while she is off creating her very own ....

*********

To Becca:

Although when you left for Milwaukee we were in the middle of some hard stuff as a family things are definately on an upswing. I am beyond proud of the life that you are creating for yourself. For your amazing strength and determination to follow your passsion. But most of all that you have Passion and Dreams in your live. I LOVE THAT! Dad and I are loving our life here with Dustin, just the 3 of us. You have been a wonderful big sister to him and an excellent example of a life to aspire to. Every day gets better and better and I am forever thankful for the time you spend with him. Dad misses you so very very much. He has the picture of the 2 of you hugging at graduation beside the bathroom sink and I know he stares at it often. If he ever learns to text it will only because he wants to talk to you more and no other reason...LOL!! And then there's me....I am happy....happier than I have been in a long long time....You know through many tears my prayer has been for a good friend for a long time now.....although things have been hard, this time has allowed Dad and I to begin to be each others Best Friends...the way it should be...the way it always should have been. But you know that I have missed having "friends". I just want to let you know that God is very faithful...I will first start by saying how wonderful our weekend in Milwaukee was at Women of Faith. Me, you and Shari!!! It couldn't have been more of what we all 3 needed. I loved you laying in my lap as they sang and getting to rub your back and play with your hair. And I don't know what my life would be without Shari right now...you know as well as anyone that she and Jamie helped us all through some of the hardest times we have had...all 4 of us....they are such a blessing to our whole family. And then of course there are Bryan, Nichole and Ainsley. They have become such a stable part of our lives and we couldn't be happier. Last night was our weekly Hot Tub hang out night and I got to feed Ainsley while she sat in her high chair. It feels so good to be an Aunt again to a little one....sigh...And then there are all my book club friends, my church friends, my Jamaican Mission friends and so many others (and of course my amazing Texas family!!)....Right now my life is overflowing and I am beyond thankful.

********

I know I say I write this for Becca and for Dustin as well...but I also write this for me. It feels good to write down in words where God has brought me....And to be so very thankful! Who is to say what the future will hold. What next year will be like. I am trying not to worry or even try to look to far ahead and just live in the moment. I tell Rob that I want to enjoy all the people around me now because if God's plan for our future is to place us in a different country working in an orphanage where I don't speak the language I want to be able to know that I didn't waste a moment of this life here and now...You just never know do you?.... But what I do know is that at this very moment as I sit here my heart is Full.....And I thank Him so much for that....

Well today I dream for you a Full Heart....Maybe you are where I am and you are so thankful for where He has you today...But maybe you are going through one of those times where you know that He is giving you more than you can Handle...Life is too hard and you don't know how much more that you can take...Here is a link to the series we are doing entitled Fearless - the one I am speaking of is Fear of Overwhelming Challenges...Excellent message!! http://www.hiddenv.com/resources/393  I want to encourage you to draw closer to Him during this time....Have a wonderful day my friends.........

Autumn in Wisconsin.....

What a wonderful day!!! It was a perfect Wisconsin Fall day....I tried my hardest not to think of the fact that days like this only mean that we are all that closer to Wisconsin Winter. Autumn is by far my favorite season since I have moved here. One of my biggest joys is standing in my kitchen with a glass of iced tea, the smell of fresh baking cookies in the oven and my favorite music filling every room. And looking out my open windows at the vibrant colors of browns, oranges and yellows...How can one help but smile??...  

Yesterday as I was driving back to my house from town and I was taken back to my first few years of living in Richland County.  I was driving Paul out to my house so that he could use my Jeep for awhile. He is one of the band members of Remedy Drive, a Christian Rock group that was performing for our community.  He was going to take his wife and their little girl  to do some sightseeing around the area.  Then they would pick me up later before the concert. It was so fun listening to all the comments that they made at how beautiful the area is. He and his wife both commented that they could see themselves living here.....What makes me sad is how easy it is to forget to look around and be appreciative for the gifts that God gives. Sometimes it takes seeing things through someone else's eyes to  remind us.

I am so very thankful for where I grew up. West Texas has it's own unique beauty. Sometimes you have to use more of your imagination but it is there nonetheless...LOL... There are the most incredible sunsets with such an assortment of colors. And you have not witnessed a exquisite starry night until you have layed on a the roof of a car in the middle of a cotton field in the darkness. Breathtaking!! You are literally surrounded by tiny sparkling lights. You can't help but smile and take a deep breath and ultimately feel closer to God. Then of course there are the West Texas storms. Although they are my least favorite things about West Texas, there is a definite beauty in being able to watch an oncoming storm for miles and miles away. And then the smell of the dirt mixed with rain and the crispness in the air as it closes in.....

I have traveled my fare share in my 40 years and I must say everywhere that I have been offered a unique beauty....God never ceases to amaze me at His creativity. It is impossible for me to pick a favorite. The mountains in Oregon were incredible. Swimming in the Mineral Springs in California were like nothing else I have experienced. But some of my favorite things have been star gazing on a mountain top in Hawaii and with my uncle in Pennsylvania on our way home from our day in New York City...Florida was more difficult to see God's work in the landscape but the people were wonderful. And of course there is Jamaica......That is where I am closest to God. So it is impossible to pick one area where I am more impressed with His awesome work while I am on the island. So much of that is because I am more relaxed while I am there.

LOL....as I write this I just can't help but think about the fact that yes it is absolutely God's beauty that warms my soul. But as I look back to every place that I have I have visited the beauty is actually a backdrop to the people that I am with....Sven and Deanna in Oregon... Scott and Kim in Michigan... all my family in Texas... Uncle Lynn in Pennsylvania...Florida with Carla and Bill... Bryan and Nichole and all my kids at the orphanage in Jamaica....Becca, Dustin, Rob, Nadine, Kurt and Andi in Hawaii...and then sharing the beauty of Richland County with all of my wonderful friends on a daily basis.....oh my I could go on and on....I am not only blessed to have seen so much of His creation but I have been so blessed to have shared it with some of the most wonderful people...sigh.....

Wow....that was fun visiting all those places in my mind....remembering how blessed I am at the incredible people that I am surrounded by....I know I didn't mention everyone that I have shared traveling memories with but I promise you that I know they are all special....I would love to hear some of your memories of times we shared together that you recall as well.....fun!!!

Well so let's see....I guess I dream for you the chance to stop and notice His creativity.....in the landscape that surrounds you....in the people that He places in your life....in the simple joy of a pumpkin spice cookie and a glass of iced tea....He is an Incredible God!!!

my TOMS........

It's so funny how 95% of the time I have no idea what I am going to blog about when I sit down to actually do it. Today was one of those days. I had just sat down at my laptop and Dustin asked me if I had opened my "package"...oh - I forgot!! While I was in Texas Kiersten Holley, my "adopted" daughter..(okay, not officially) sent me a gift. As I opened it I started to squeal!!! She had sent me a pair of TOMS shoes!!! My first thought was that I have Really little feet...LOL! But then I just kept saying that I couldn't believe that I now owned a pair of TOMS!!

I first heard about TOMS at a leadership conference that I attended. Blake Mycoskie was one of the speakers and told the story of how he began TOMS.

 In 2006, American traveler Blake Mycoskie befriended children in Argentina and found they had no shoes to protect their feet. Wanting to help, he created TOMS Shoes, a company that would match every pair of shoes purchased with a pair of new shoes given to a child in need. One for One. Blake returned to Argentina with a group of family, friends and staff later that year with 10,000 pairs of shoes made possible by TOMS customers.

As of September 2010, TOMS has given over one million pairs of new shoes to children in need through giving partners around the world.

I thought, well, what if you had a situation where you could create a business instead of a charity? Where for every pair of shoes you sold you gave one away. That way, you had something you could continue and sustain. I was really into this idea of sustainability ... that way when the kids' feet grew or the shoe wore out, it would become our way to continue to give them new ones, as well as allow our customers to continue to participate in the movement. So instead of a charity, I started a business encompassing a one-for- one model where you buy a pair and we give a pair. Very simple. Totally transparent.

His whole story was incredible. For me the main thing was that he was so young. He is in his mid 30's and has already started several businesses. But his heart as always been in doing for others. I LOVE THAT!! I kept listening to him and thinking that I wanted that for my kids. I want them to believe that they have the capability to do whatever they want with their lives....I don't ever want them to limit themselves.

One of the other things that I thought was amazing was his humility. He doesn't do this so that he can lift himself up - he does it for the kids. His company doesn't even advertise. It is all done by word of mouth. How cool is that? One of the funniest stories that he shared was one day he was in an airport at a kiosk checking in for his flight. When he looked down at the girl next to him he saw that she was wearing a pair of TOMS. He said it was so weird because this was the first time he had seen anyone besides his family and friends wearing them.... So casually he commented to the lady that he liked her shoes. He said she grabbed him by the shoulders and said...."you don't understand about these shoes...." and then he said she began to tell me my whole life story better than my mom could have done...LOL!!!

This whole thing is contagious...I believe the core of this phenomenon is that people are created to give. Our world has morphed into such a selfish place that when an opportunity comes along to do something for others it is like being able to take a deep breath. So you combine the average person's desire for "fashion" and put it with a chance to do something for others it only makes sense. So when you wear TOMS you have a sort of banner that says "I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE!" It is a good feeling that hopefully spurs you on to look for other ways to do good in the world.

So today I plan on wearing my TOMS and smiling alot! Not just because they are cute but that they were a gift from a Very Very dear friend. I LOVE that she knows me so well that she would know that a gift like this would mean so much to me. It is not only about me enjoying my new pair of shoes but that a child somewhere else will be getting one as well. What a beautiful feeling!!!....sigh....

Today I dream for you a chance to find your inner Blake Mycoskie.....WOW - that is a big dream huh?? I always tell people that when I write the ...today I dream for you part... it is always for me as well as you guys....So sometimes I overwhelm myself...LOL!! So today let's try to think about how we can make a difference in our world. As a parent the best way to start is to raise your children to be aware of others...Raise them to be outwardly focused. The more your family serves others with pure and giving hearts the more joyful all of you will be and the world will be blessed because of it.

being an aunt.....

Lexie and Max <3

McKenna doing her "homework" <3

Yesterday my niece Amy and I had a nice visit. We talked about the fact that while she and my other nieces an nephews around her age were growing up I really never felt like an Aunt. I am not that much older than them so I always felt like more of the big sister. Once I did get older I got married and then MY life began so I sort of missed out on chunks of their lives. When I moved to Wisconsin I attempted to stay close...I tried to send gifts for bithdays and stuff. But if you are my friend on Facebook you will know that I have a Post Office Phobia that I am still working through...LOL... I do remember one particular birthday while I worked at a clothing place called Bostwicks....Amy's birthday was coming up and I kept seeing all these adorable clothes that I was sure she would look amazing in. Finally after changing my mind umpteen times I decided on an outfit, boxed it up and sent it on it's way. It's funny because even after all these years the thought of this makes me want to cringe....LOL...I have wanted to bring it up so many times but I didn't know if I was strong enough to handle what their response was....I always think to myself....Linda, what they heck were you thinking??????...I sent Amy this one piece black full body unitard thing...and surely something else with it but the unitard thingy the main  cause of my anxiety....Honestly Linda???? A Unitard??? I don't know - maybe I was thinking about her love for gymnastics and she would appreciate spandex...I remember the day they arrived at the store, I was helping stage the doors of the dressing rooms. I pulled them out and wondered who in the heck could ever fit into something like that and I remember thinking - Amy!! And then I hung it on a hanger and probably put a sweater around the neck of it - 80's style...When I was looking for a gift my mind just kept coming back to that stupid unitard and in a week moment I caved and that is the gift my teenage niece received...I'm sure after this post we will laugh about it - maybe they won't even remember it....but sadly I have a pretty good feeling that they will.

Well now that the first wave of nieces and nephews are grown and have children of their own I feel like I can finally be an Aunt. But as the before mentioned Post Office Phobia is in full effect I find I do most of my Aunting in person. Which has been great since I have been to Texas so much lately and the fact that I have had multiple visits from them this last year. But not so good those  neices and nephews that don't live in the direct vacinity of my visits....Okay - that is the guilt part - I wish I could be involved and active in all their lives....I truly do!!!! They are all part of me...part of my past...part of who I am....sigh....

But yesterday was good for me in the Aunt department. When it was time to pick Amy's girls up from school I was excited to surprise them. McKenna is 8 and Lexie is 6. (not 7&5 like I posted first - but was corrected by Aunt Debbie - it's a good thing she is here to take care of things while I'm away....whew...) They both share Sept. 11th birtdays and are just as sweet as can be. Carla and I stood outside Lexie's classroom and McKenna and Amy were walking toward us (Amy had taken 2 of their 13 puppies for show and tell - mix of Boxer, Lab and St. Bernard - CUTE) She had her head down and I stepped in front of her and bent down - she SQUEALED and wrapped her arms around my neck..."Aunt Linda - what are you doing here???" Priceless!! Then as Lexie was walking out of her room she looked right at me and held up a tote bag with the name MAX on the side. (Max is a stuffed animal that they get to take turns bringing home)..."Aunt Linda - I get to bring Max Home!!!!!!" and then she gave me a Big hug. I guess it does make me feel good that even though I live in Wisconsin I am around them enough that it is not uncommon to see me. As we left the school I was holding her hand and she looked up and told me..."it's a Great Day!! - I have Max AND Aunt Linda!!" And people would wonder why I would drop things and fly to Texas in a minute...I need this stuff - My cup is filling with every hug!!!!!  Later that evening the girls and I cuddled on the couch to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks - the Squeakwell....McKenna started giving me a massage (which I am not kidding when I say she is REALLY good at and will do it for a LONG time...heaven) and then Lexie came out with the Hair supplies - which is her specialty. So as I lay on the couch getting my massage Lexie is putting tiny ponytails all over my head. I think I ended up with 13 she said. She kept explaining  of all the wonderful braids and things she could do if only my hair wasn't so short...LOL....Next McKenna came out with her tea cart. She had cut of apple slices (no pealings) laid out on a nice plate with chocolate sauce drizzled over them and another small glass bowl for dipping. And then a coffee cup of water...So we all shared our apples and watched the rest of our movie..

What a wonderful day.....(well wonderful until I slipped down 17 wooden steps before bed...OUCH!! That was quite a show though. I am very fortuanate that I wasn't hurt worse than some bruises and a sore body. I am not quite as young as a used to be...LOL!) But it was a wonderful day - even with that - I am laying in bed at my sister Carla's house...one day soon I will blog about my sisters...I have wanted to for so long but I want to do it right...I want you all to know what a blessing they are in my life...But right now I just want to savor moment by moment...I have the ability to get overwhelmed but I don't want to do that. I want to enjoy and savor this week and all the joys it will bring....

Today I dream for you a cup filler....if you don't understand that concept read my previous blog on this...

http://thebeautyofadreamer.blogspot.com/2010/07/full-cup.html

But find a way to be filled so that you can have the energy to give and serve and not be overwhelmed...

Have a full day my friend!!!

 So I feel like I missed out on all the joys of being an "aunt".

my brother Neil.........

I just got off the phone with my brother Neil...(I think it is so funny - that is what I always call him....My Brother Neil)....everybody around here always tells me that now that I have been in Wisconsin for 20 years I can start just calling him Neil because they realize who I am talking about...LOL!

My family is ...well....interesting...I can openly say this because they will all agree with me - we are quite a mixture. Momma always compared us to the Lucielle Ball movie...Yours, Mine and Ours...I am the baby out of 10 kids and Neil is my only Full Blood sibling. He is also the only one that I really grew up the whole time with. Many of the others were in my life..some more than others...but I have many memories of all of them. But memories of me and Neil flood my childhood....Him teaching me to drive a 5 speed...(the little Chevy Love...) Our (yes they were both of ours....and don't let him tell you different...) Muppet Puppets....Climbing trees in the backyard, fighting in the backseat, making slip and slides with HUGE pieces of plastic..and climbing into bed beside him the morning that the coroner came to our house early that rainy morning to pick up Great Grandma after she passed away down the hall.....tons and tons of memories.....

When Neil and I begin talking we could tell stories for hours upon hours. I love that kind of relationship with someone when you  only have to say a word or a phrase and memories come flooding back. And there is useless information that only they could give you....like - what was our Dr.'s name when we were little....(I wonder if possibly Debbie or Carla would remember but I know Momma would...) it was Dr Sauders...and he looked just like Captain Kangaroo. We use to sit in his waiting room reading Highlights magazines and  we got to pick toys out of the treasure chest.

Neil had the most Awesome class..(you see how I threw that 80's word in there..lol...) Our class was 2 years behind him and we idolized them. Probably 2/3 of our class had older siblings in that class so we were all like family. Every morning we would  meet in the library before school started and gather around one of the round tables listening to Tim or Kenneth read Garfield and Calvin and Hobbs out loud. Their class was full of pranksters and comedians....and as little brothers and sisters we were in awe of them....(don't know how funny the teachers thought they were but we enjoyed it....) I am always telling my kids and their friends stories about growing up and the things that we use to do. But it is so funny how many of my stories are things from Neil's class...His memories have become my memories....Sammy (?) sneaking out the window in Coach Tonn's class and and how they locked him out and then him just walking back into class and convincing Coach that he had given him permission to go to the bathroom....Being in Mrs. Ham's class and Neil telling the girls that he was crying because he had Leukemia...(when in reality he had just yawned and it caused his eyes to tear up....) and the girls running to the bathroom crying and his punishment was having to confess to the girls...Neil riding in the trunk of Tamara's car and pretending to be dead when they got to "the house"...their class being the ones that finally talked the school board to allowing us to have a prom....(Footloose.....It could have really been based on our lives....LOL..)

The class of 1986 taught us how to have a sense of humor and how to be adventurism....I wonder what things would have been like without them. What would we have done without Brent.....Brent hung out with Me, Suzy and Gina as much as anybody else.....I so remember riding in his car on graduation night one year out to someone's barn listening to his new cassette of Prince...Not to mention the whole trip to Lubbock to see him when he was working at the mall at the Pretzel Place and my care dying and Steve Rucker just happened to pull up and jump my battery.....LOL....Not mentioning how old I was....If you know that story then we must be close.....LOL!!! I remember Kenneth and his amazing musical talent on his Synthesiser and how he could Pinch you with his toes..LOL...I remember spending many hours at the Satterwhites "waiting" for Neil and Mitchell never getting to be part of the pranks because his dad was Superintendent and his mom was the English teacher..I remember Lucretia living at the end of our road and Pam across the field..I could go on and on.......sigh......

Neil has been a wonderful, wonderful brother....Although you would have never thought I would say that when I was younger...He will probably get upset at me for putting this out there because it is so not him now but he use to beat me up all the time when we were kids. He use to punch me so much that one time he was walking in his sleep and even came and beat me up...But I have to say that the time he threw the ball point pen and hit me in the eye and busted the blood vessels and then put a pillow over my face and begged me to quit crying was not intentional....it was just my turn on Mad Libs..LOL..but he didn't think Daddy would believe him so I went 2 days without looking at my parents because my eye looked like I was staring in a horror movie and then there was the moment I walked into the school the nurse called Momma to come get me...and then she FREAKED....LOL!!!.But now you would never know that he had a temper...He is the most caring and loving husband and father....And he is the best brother I could have ever asked for. It breaks my heart to be so very far away from him during these years of our lives. Years where we could be there to support and encourage each other. Neil now has 4 children....His daughter Peggy is almost the same age as Becca and has always been brilliant! Noel is brilliant as well but has his challenges...He has muscular dystrophy but that has not stopped him from being an incredible artist....And then he has 2 darling daughters ages 6 and 2...He is currently back in school and wanting to be in education. He has a wonderfully supportive wife that couldn't be a better soul mate for him and that makes me so happy. I am so proud of him and all he has accomplished....and I love hi dearly....

Today I dream for you the opportunity to reflect on someone in your life....what do they mean to you? Think of memories that you share.....take the time to talk to them and let them know how they have impacted you.
Have a wonderful day my friends....