Life has been so busy lately. Whenever I think it is going to slow down I am usually wrong. In the last month I spent the week in Texas with my family. While I was there I also had the opportunity to sit at the hospital with one of my best friends growing up. Her grandson had just been born and ultimately would not make it..(so emotional) - got home for 1 day and then left for Milwaukee for the Women of Faith conference for 3 days with one of my best friends and some quality time with Becca - a few days later I spoke at the Hospital Foundation Brunch and then that evening I had a wonderful time with friends at the Overture Center seeing Wicked ...but didn't get home until 1 am...(yawn...) - next day was filled with feeding Remedy Drive and 2 other bands and then worshiping...I didn't leave the High School until after 11:00.....so on Saturday I finally hit a wall. I never even left the house. I just sat on the couch and watched movies and worked on the computer...which was a mixture of joy and alot of guilt....There were things that I should have been doing that day. I missed a birthday party for a friend and I didn't go help clean the church for our Big Sunday. But honestly I just couldn't find it within myself to do Anything!!!
Guilt probably robs me of more of my life than anything else. Whenever I am doing one thing I feel like I should be doing something else...so instead of being in the moment my mind wanders to what I feel that I should be doing. While I was in Texas I felt guilty that I wasn't here at home... While I was in Madison with my friends I felt that I shouldn't have spent the money....At the Foundation Brunch I felt guilty that I didn't invite more people....Guilt...Guilt...Guilt....Just like right now...I feel guilty that I haven't exercised yet, that I plan on exercising before I do bookwork, that I didn't do bookwork yesterday, that I am blogging when I have other stuff to do...ahhhhhh....it's exhausting.
For the last week I have been doing my Sidetracked Home Executive cards. It has helped me in so many ways. This morning I was talking to my sister Debbie about our cards. I was saying how they have spurred me on to organize other areas of my life. And then she was saying that she believed that the reason it helps us so much is because it gives us focus...Thus the name Sidetracked Home Executives....When I am left to do things on my own I walk into one room to clean and then see something that belongs somewhere else and so I take it to where it belongs...and then an hour later I am sitting in the middle of a mess that I never intended on conquering that day. I need focus in my life...It has helped me get my health/weight loss back on track...my finances....and it has helped my relationship with God in countless ways. Like I said earlier I am prone to guilt. And when I feel guilt I hide from God. I feel that I am disappointing Him and others around me. But when I don't give Satan the satisfaction of using guilt in my life I am free to spend time being real with God.
Today is going to be a good day...are there reasons that it shouldn't be...Absolutely! Do alot of those reasons have to do with guilt? Yep, most of them do....I should have gotten Becca's package in the mail already, and then there is the B-day card on the counter that will probably be late, and there is the call that I should really make to my mom, there is the freezer that needs defrosted so the Locker will quit calling me to come pick up our beef, guilt that I haven't sent in my article for the blog that is looking for me to be a guest writer.....lots of stuff.....But I have to choose that it will be a good day because if I don't then I will just go into a heap and be no good for anyone....including myself...
Today I dream for you a day free of guilt....A day to live in each moment fully encompassing everything that you do...enjoy in for what it is and savor each and every moment....Live your day believing that Guilt is not of God....and that a day free of Guilt is a day closer to Him....
Have a blessed day my friends...
1 Peter 5: 6-11
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, 7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. 10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. 11 To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 comment:
yeah...the story of my life - reading a book for an hour and feeling guilty for it, exercising - playing volleyball, and feeling guilty for it. i think society has slowly made us women/mom's feel this way - more, more, more - be more, do more, accomplish more...WHY! so we can go insane more then we already are???
i forgot my sister's, 2nd child's, 1st birthday late last month - completely by accident - she is so mad at me that she stripped the God Parent roll from me that she was about to give me. I am extremely sad about this. it's a long story but in the end there is just too much going on ALL of the time in our lives and the minute you let your guard down or sit down to rest, you forget something or not DO something and someone is hurt by you or mad at you. We women CAN'T WIN.
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