Day 3 Month 1 of my 7 journey

Day 3... Month 1 *****of my 7 journey

A post on this journey I'm taking and what I am learning so far??... well actually lots! First thing is something that put me at ease that she talks about in the book (7 by Jen Hatmaker) I know this is a spiritual journey but so far I haven't gotten deeply to that point with it yet. So far it is still consumed by thinking about it and planning and all that. But I am truly seeing where the God times come in. For one that I will be writing about on later is what I am learning about Fasting. I read through all the verses that were in the New Testament having to do with Fasting this morning and have so much that goes through my mind on the subject. And although this is not a diet, that isn't what it is about I am obviously consuming less so I am learning so much about my eating habits...

**Let me take a moment to say something... everything that I am "learning" sadly are things that I have already "learned" throughout my life. I have done every weight loss program Christian and otherwise... But, I am going into this with Fresh eyes and an open heart... so when I post they may not be ah ha moments but they are meaningful***....

When you only have a choice of 7 foods to eat and you suddenly get that twinge of what you ordinarily think is hunger you start to question... "do I really want another banana though???" and most of the time it's a no and so I go about my business.

I figured if something at some point in this crazy things helps someone then... awesome... if not... then at the least I hope that I give people some laughs because this whole thing has the ingredients for Linda drama....

My Journey of 7

Okay peeps.... This is the passage I am embarking on it is a 7 month journey to a Life without Excess and more importantly to get closer to God.... Month 1 is picking seven foods to eat for the entire month. The thought process behind it is that when we feel those other cravings we talk to God. When we spend minimal time on thinking about food for ourselves we can spend it on other things...... Month 2 is choosing 7 items of clothing to wear for the month. This chapter is hilarious!!!! And I feel will be one of the most eye opening next to chapter 3 which is Posessions .. You give away 7 Items every day for the entire month... But it goes so much deaper than just that. The following months are Media... Waste.... Spending.... Stress..... I am excited to do this like I said mainly to grow closer to God. The World gets in the way of our relationship.

I am going to do the best I can without putting to much stress on myself (I have a tendency to do that)

Looking forward to the ride….

A New Chapter

My reading material for the month.... A few for the 2nd time.... Rob and I read the Makers Diet together and it is one of my favorites. I am spending the month with my 7 foods and he is willing to make healthier choices.... And then we discussed the fact that when D moves out in October our diets going to look very different and he is excited about it to. If you would have told me that my husband would actually prefer a bowl of granola over his frosted flakes I would never have believed it.... Or that he would ask me to steam veggies for his lunch the next day.... I would have thought I was being punked.... Lots of discussions about life and what's ahead for us and taking care of ourselves... We are both ready for the next chapter.

There can be No shadow without the LIGHT

John 8:12 Jesus says “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Many of you know that I have suffered from depression for about 10 years now. I have 2 different kind of days when it comes to D DAYS. I have my Shadow days and I have Dark Days. Shadow days are difficult days but they are manageable with medication. Those are days I may be down but I have people around me that encourage me or I listen to Christian music or do my Bible study. Dark days are very different. Dark Days are days are exactly that. Dark. I sit alone. Those are the days I just can't move or make sense out of life. Functioning is almost impossible.

The reasoning behind the naming of my days is with God being my light, on my Shadow days I can atleast feel God's presence in my life. I may feel lost but somewhere inside of me I know that He hasn't moved and I know that there is Hope. I just haven't figured it out. On my Dark days it is exactly that. Dark. Any voice I hear is my own in my head and it is always reminding me that I'm lost.

Now the question would be why don't I insist on making sure that I implement something into my life everyday to ensure that I don't have those dark days. Easier said than done. I'll save that for another post. And I also want to add that I don't have D Days all the time. Thankfully!! Many times life can be going smooth and I can be doing great. It's hard to know when they will come or how long they will stay....

Anyhooooo......... what started this thinking...........

Yesterday I heard something that stuck with me throughout the day and the ruminating has continued this morning so I thought I would share it here.

There can be No shadow without the LIGHT.

It's a simple little fact and yet I can't even begin to imagine all the information a Google search would bring up on the subject. And so as to not confuse my mind any farther I thought it best to keep them contained and not do that Google search.,,,,,,,, (Squirrel.....................)

The photo above was a shot that I took a year or so ago in my kitchen. I remember trying to set things just the right way so that the sun would come in through the window to get the shadow in the correct form that I desired and make a heart. It would have never crossed my mind to do this photo in the evening... well unless I had lighting equipment.

There can be No shadow without the LIGHT....

Now.....I LOVE Light... Absolutely Love it!!!!! When I'm home alone I am one of those people who leaves lights on (don't tell Rob).  I LOVE laying out in the bright bright sunshine where I can hardly keep my eyes open because the sun is so bright and feeling the heat on my skin. There are few things in life that make me happier than sunshine.... sigh... (As I sit here and write we are at the beginning of a cold Wisconsin Winter with a temperature of 2 degrees out so those days happening around here are far off so it's time to get my light box out....)

 Since Jesus IS The LIGHT then anyone who walks close to him will benefit from that light. The further we move from His presence the more difficult it is to benefit from that light. I personally have struggled with this in my own life in the last several years and can say that if I could get this one truth nailed down I would have so much more peace.... I'm trying... I'm trying... I'm trying.....

 Hebrews 13:8 says that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So Jesus never leaves us. He never moves away from us. When we cry out to God and wonder why he is silent I have to wonder how many times that silence is because we have traveled so far from the light that we wouldn't even know what to look for if we saw it. Why do we get angry with Him? Why do we feel that He has deserted us? When we are the ones slowly inching away, doing our own thing in the world thinking that it is no big deal. Once we give our lives to God he doesn't put a fence around us and tell us we aren't allowed to wander. We have freedom. So when we decide that what the world tempts us with seems "not so bad"..."not so harmful"..."what's the big deal"...."God won't really mind"...."I'll come back later"..."I'm just trying new things"... "I'm trying to find myself"...."once I have kids I'll change"..."doesn't he love me for who I am?".... We begin to make so many excuses that everything seems to be okay. And suddenly we begin to serve a wimpy God who says.... "I changed my mind... anybody can come to heaven"....... well.... I think that's probably the bible that we make up in our head when get so far from the light that we can't read the scripture and we are all huddled together saying... "yeah, that sounds good!!"...

Today I dream for you LIGHT.... Think about it in ways that you have not before. .... I ask that you remember that Jesus is the Light.........and that you would be so close to the light that the shadows would be more strong and brilliant more so than you have ever experienced

The feeling of a camera in my hand

 

The decision to open up my blog and start to look at again has made me sentimental for my camera. I can't even tell you the last time I held my camera in my hand.  I'm not sure if setting my camera down was intentional or not. I know that after returning from Bolivia I really wasn't using it much and then Becca was asking to use it more and more for a second camera for wedding shoots and so I just had her keep it unless I needed it. Life takes on so many changes. Years ago my camera was attached to me as my arm was. I saw the world through the lens of a camera. 

As nervous as I am to begin to blog again I am equally as nervous to photograph. Last night a sweet friend and I had a good talk about being a photographer. Yes we can say that we do it for ourselves and that is true because it is a love but to put your work on display is very difficult because it is a reflection of your heart. Whether it be my writing or my photography I know it is for myself... It has to be for myself... And the older I get the closer I'm getting to truly being in that spot... But we have to be real and admit that we are human....

Okay... I really need to go accomplish something today...

Today I dream for you the chance to pick up something that you have long ago put down. Something that you thought you wouldn't get the chance to go back to.... Why not??? Have a beautiful day!

 

As I opened up my blog site I was amazed at how long it had actually been since I had last written a post here. I knew it had been a long time but I had not realized that so many years had passed. I don't even need to look back through posts to remember the posts of joy and the posts that put me into some of my darkest pits.

The reasons that I haven't posted are numerous and quite possibly those reasons will come forth in posts in the future... but we will see. But I can honestly say that my heart has missed it here. My heart has missed sharing and encouraging. But although I am posting today I am making no promises for the future.... sigh..... But for today it was nice to be here again :-)

So today my friends I dream for you........ hope...... hope for your future and the blessings that God has ready to rain down on you......

Have a beautiful day.

The Joy of the Lord.....

Heart, originally uploaded by pieceofheaven.

Last night I was watching the Biggest Loser with my sweet husband. I have watched the transformations these individuals have made and it always moves me to tears. For so many reasons....I am so happy for them and for their families....I understand what that change is going to mean for them....I know their futures are forever changed....well, at least for the ones that truly "get it". The ones that have worked through their issues and know why they turn to food for comfort...why they would rather sit in front of a TV watching others loose weight than do it themselves.



I've been there. I've had the motivation and the time and the determination to get the weight off. To get healthy. But what I don't think I have ever dealt with is Why??...I keep repeating the same patterns throughout my whole life. And I keep ending up right back at the same spot or even worse. And so I gain weight and that makes me depressed and then I am depressed so I gain weight....



During a week moment last night I asked Rob if he would be my personal trainer. So when Rob takes something on he does it with everything he has. So this morning starting at 6 am he starts asking me if I am ready to get up and exercise....uuummm...NO!...It's dark and I'm sleeping!! So for the next half hour he worked on irritating me enough that I finally got up so he would quit bothering me. He informed me that we were going outside for a run...Are you CRAZY? It's 10 degrees outside...So he says.."then you will have to put on alot of layers..."



I knew Rob was taking this serious when we were ready to start he asked if he could pray...That was so Sweet!! As he was praying he said..."I thank you that Linda has the desire to be out here..." And I couldn't quit laughing....Ummm. I had the desire to go to a heated gym....You were the one who drug me out in the Frozen Tundra....



I will admit I was GRUMPY....He kept wanting to run and when I would "run" he was still walking...which makes me remember what a slow runner I am.....The farther we went I was torn...I was enjoying being outside but I kept getting madder and madder. He didn't realize that part of Bob and Jillian's role is counselor. So as much as I needed to exercise I needed to get stuff out...Why can't I get a handle on this???...Why do other people not struggle with this??...Why am I even trying???



At one point I had a visual....My heart was tired....Not physically (but it could be that too!) But my heart is just tired of everything........selfish people............people that I feel disappoint me........circumstances that I am tired of dealing with........tired of disappointing myself......I'm just tired!!



Last night I actually got out my book, Fearless Living. I have so many things highlighted and circled - I just started reading.....A few of them stood out....



But there is never a guarantee. While we wait for circumstances or people to change that are outside of our control, we can end up feeling sorry for ourselves, resentful and helpless...



Expectations will always build evidence for you and against others...



She had to accept where she was before she could move forward....


I could go on and on.....So many powerful things....that is what I want...To Live Fearless!!!!



I don't want others choices to affect me in such a way that I can't function.

I don't want to feel sorry for myself, resentful or helpless....

I don't want to put expectations on others so much so that it drags me down when they don't meet them..

I want to stop giving others control of my Joy and Peace!!

I want to accept where I am...to own it....so that I can move forward with my life!!!.....



So...does this all mean that in the morning I am going to jump up out of bed with a smile on my face and be ready to take on the day.....Ummm....I don't know if I would go that far. But I do know that I want to take my power back. I know to many people that are Negative....I don't ever want to be that....I often tell myself that I remember when I was a Happy Person.....I still have every reason to be happy. If others around me choose to live in constant negativity than I can't let that alter my life....




10 Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”



That is how I want to live my life....Enjoying food and not letting it dominate me......Helping those that are in need......and not grieving because I KNOW that my Joy comes from the LORD and I find my strength in HIM!!!!....

Can I get an Amen??......

Today I dream for you.....Joy.....the Joy that comes from HIM....not that Joy that the world offers that comes and goes...but the Joy that comes deep within your soul......



Have a JOYFUL day friend.....